Skip to main content

A disarranged marriage

Some local friends sometimes ask innocently if mine was arranged..marriage that is. My response just to see if they are awake is to tell them that mine was disarranged. In truth they all are ... depends on how Clinton would define 'arrange'. There is a vast range there if you ask me. This is the problem with half assed depictions of other countries' cultures by a jaded media that cannot seem to get the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Arranged marriage is as stereotypical of Indian subcontinent as curries and tigers (at one point). Also the likelihood of me knowing the Patels down the corner...because they too are from India after all. So on the subject of what makes a marriage worthy or work is not so much how the arrangement came to be but how much Zen you are. The notion of bliss is directly related in the author's humble (oh well not so humble) opinion that the more easy going your life styles the more compatible you will be. The more serious or driven (or in some cases crack enabled) you get the more chances for friction to arise. Love et al and the whole Valentine mumbo jumbo is just that - a big marketing gimmic. Once you peel the covers and oh you shall literally and figuratively you see that the jungle is not as mangal as it seems. You just have to pull on the gloves and get to work. Work at it that is. Find common ground when you can and tread together - other times take a chance and stray off the path but always come back to the homing beacon that is home. It is literally a matter of adjustments and compromises - throw in an offspring or two or more and the equation just goes from linear to quadratic. Triple integrals are not far behind. If you are following the circular logic so far then the derivative is this - just chill and take it one day at a time - make the most of it. You will get to a point where you really don't care to answer the question - how was your marriage - arranged or ?

Comments

  1. Wonderful exposition on the art of marketing- Valentine's Day or any other of the remaining 364. With a good philosophical and real view of the institution of arranged bliss!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

New England is gleaming in the fall

 This autumn the weather gods cooperated as we took a family trip in the northeast to see six states that qualify or makeup what is known colloquially in America as New England. Mass, Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire, Connecticut and Rhode Island (tiniest state in the union). The outing helped tally up the states we either lived in, visited or have worked in to 47. Guess which three have eluded this intrepid traveling family. Any rate the drive was all in about 1,800 miles and included some memorable geographic wonders or points of interest.  Easternmost part of state of Massachusetts being one.  Furthest drivable road east in Mass being another. Visit to all Ivy League schools (term harkens to a collegiate athletics conference and generally regarded as elite academic institutes of some repute worldwide) is another random bucket list item of which this trip afforded the chance to knock two more of the list.  Dartmouth in Hanover, NH and Brown (and its sister institute the RISD  - school f

Searching for a lavish 'fill in the blank with other adjectives and gender' in bed

 Many of the readers of this blog have experienced this. Strange sounding messages popping up in your text or WA or emails all day long from some exotic sounding locale with an out of this world individual looking for love, sex, money or other paraphernalia to get a high. I mean granted that electronic spamming is a low cost enterprise and all but the sheer volumes and the variety in these exhortations is beyond imagination. Having a desire to engage you in some sort of sexual payola or invest in some arcane crypto scheme must be a profound algorithm that someone from Oklahoma to Odessa is cranking on through the night and watching one in a few million fall for. Otherwise this nonsense would not exist I suspect. It would be funny to watch the lifecycle of some such persona that creates said content and that of a prospect for this invite becoming an unwilling or willing participant. Then that whole thing could go on some social channel and earn likes and subscriptions for someone else a

Lakeside frivolities

 We moved to the Charlotte area not knowing where exactly our new home would be. Turns out it was by a popular lake formed by the damming of the Catawba river which flows north to south in the Carolinas. Local electricity generation utility built a series of dams along the waterway for hydro and couple nuclear plants as well to supply the state grid.  The lake our house butts into is Lake Wylie. While tract home build has picked up in the Carolinas the developer often carves out parcels that they can get their hands on leaving behind privately owned lots that the individual owner may not want to sell. Our house is part of a subdivision but backs into actual lake front yardage that has always been part of legacy family owned properties who chose to build a cabin or getaway and did not sell to a corporation wanting to build in the hundreds. As such we can see the water through the year but it does not afford actual water access.  That privilege is to our neighbors who still maintain thei