Skip to main content

What if we stopped pooping?

I know some may say what a shitty topic and they would be wrong - shit would lose its significance in popular vernacular. Yet if you think about this idea it may perhaps be the best invention ever. Humans essentially do two things to survive. Consume and subsequently defecate. The latter has serious implications because it serves to remove toxic build up in our bodies. Can medicine focus on process where the body adapts to completely process everything it intakes and shuts down after it has reached its limit? Of course each specimen will have its own limit based on age, gender, ethnicity, geography, aptitude etc. I think this is possible. There are several cactii in the wild and deserts of this world that do not need much to survive and if they do they get from the little mositure they find in the morning dew. They do not release any other waste. Most every living animal excretes in order to rid off its excess body fat or unprocessed material that it cannot hold on to. If there is a recycle and reuse implant in our body then the once consumed matter can be repeatedly worked on till there is no trace left. Only then can the mouth be opened to intake more. Obviously this will alleviate scores of waste management problems including spread of disease saving world econmies billions in lower capital outlay for waste treatment plants as well as medicine and health management services. Procter and Gamble will surely not like this gamble. So also for all the Kohlers and Urinal installers of the world. They would have to retool to fabricate some nouveau ceramic thrones for the living room instead. And forget the Bidet - best case scenario is to use that for an ottoman or storing plants of a certain kind. Welcome to our house - that is the new sofa and oh did I show you the Thai palm in this oh so cute oval glossy white pot? It has an ingenious watering feature - goes right to the roots. Also travel would suddenly become outrageously pleasant for those so inclined...airlines will use this feature to their advantage by installing more paying seats no doubt?

Comments

  1. If we could avoid/stop eating, it would be even better. Na rahega baans, na bajegi bansuri.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bilkul sahi pharmaya however that would kill the all time hit dialogs in Hindi movies - do waqt ki roti ke liye ... What's a hero to say now...

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

But What If We're Wrong?

I attempted to read this book by author Chuck Klosterman backward to forward but it started hurting my brain so I decided to stop and do it like any other publication in the English language.  Start from page 1 and move to the right. Witty, caustic and thought provoking this is a book you want to read if you believe that the status quo might, just might be wrong. At times bordering on being contrarian about most things around us it tries to zero in on the notion of what makes anything believable and certain in our minds.  The fact that there is a fact itself is ironic.  Something analogous to the idea that you can never predict the future because there is no future. Many books and movies have tried to play on this concept - best that I recollect (I think I am) was 'The Truman Show'.  This book by Klosterman attempts to provoke the reader to at least contemplate that what they think they know may be wrong. He uses examples like concept of gravity, and how it ...

You are important to us

Followed by piano music.   Followed by 'we are experiencing heavier than usual call volume'.  Sounds macabre like bleeding during menstruation or after a ghastly attack with a weapon on a hemophiliac.  Sorry Mrs. Johnson but it appears little Gertrude here has been bleeding heavier than usual what with her night time activities competing with the woodchucks in your neighborhood. Some services even go as far as to pick a random day to say - 'if you were to call us during the Chinese lunar month when the moon is axiomatically hugging the polar star with Jupiter intravenous when call volume is light'.  Well I will be damned.  I thought  I had checked with my astrologer before I placed this well focused call but  I guess this is what you get for listening to a quack. Umph! I am not sure which marketing genius came up with this personal touch concept of informing the caller that you are really a jackass for actually calling the customer serv...

Of Jims and Johns

Here is another essay on the subject of first names. As in birth names. Or names provided to an offspring at birth. While the developed world tends to shy away from the exotic like Refrigerator or Coca Cola for their new production there is a plethora of Jims and Johns and Bobs or Robs. Speaking of which I do not think there is a categoric decision point at the time of birth if a child will be hereafter called as Bob. I mean have not yet met a toddler called Bob or Rob for that matter. At some point though the parental instinct to mouth out multiple syllables runs out and they switch from calling the crawler Robert to simply Robbie to Rob. Now speaking of - it is strange that the name sounds like something you would not want Rob to do - i.e. Rob anyone. Then why call someone that? After all Rob Peter to Pay Paul is not exactly a maxim to live a young life? Is it? Perhaps Peter or Paul might want to have a say in it? Then there is this matter of going to the John. Why degrad...