Skip to main content

Faceless - A Simian Network

More day dreaming... Since most monkeys look alike - to us humans anyway - there will be a new social network that will come into existence but called the Faceless. This is expanding on the idea that pretty soon all monkeys will have access to a new ipad. This network will be developed by a dropout from an African University in the remote corner of Tanzania whose name shall be Dork Suckerberry. He will come out of nowhere and suddenly be the next best thing to Jane Goodall. National Geographic will do endless specials on him and his mission - connecting all simians.. one monkey at a time. No race barrier here - all species of primates are eligible. Pet companies can spend good money to study monkey behavior and offer deals on well behaved animals to their customers. There can be specials on rowdy monkeys since we anticipate less demand for those. Jackets, helmets and other CPG paraphernalia can be and will be branded for this new form of pet. 'Monkey business' will become a taboo word and shall be struck from human conversation as politically incorrect language. Same goes for phrases like 'quit monkeying around'. We will have to define a new mammal to sacrifice to enrich the English language. Linguists and their brethren will have a good time of it. Again going back to the Wall Street well being I think this will be seen as a net positive. Electoral campaings will have lobbies fighting for new species to be added and there will be special interest groups jockeying for positions - its a dog eat dog world after all.
Labels:

Comments

  1. RajendraMay 9, 2012 at 10:37 PM

    How about if monkeys took over the humans and 'manning' something became a pejorative term?

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

But What If We're Wrong?

I attempted to read this book by author Chuck Klosterman backward to forward but it started hurting my brain so I decided to stop and do it like any other publication in the English language.  Start from page 1 and move to the right. Witty, caustic and thought provoking this is a book you want to read if you believe that the status quo might, just might be wrong. At times bordering on being contrarian about most things around us it tries to zero in on the notion of what makes anything believable and certain in our minds.  The fact that there is a fact itself is ironic.  Something analogous to the idea that you can never predict the future because there is no future. Many books and movies have tried to play on this concept - best that I recollect (I think I am) was 'The Truman Show'.  This book by Klosterman attempts to provoke the reader to at least contemplate that what they think they know may be wrong. He uses examples like concept of gravity, and how it ...
2 comments
Read more

You are important to us

Followed by piano music.   Followed by 'we are experiencing heavier than usual call volume'.  Sounds macabre like bleeding during menstruation or after a ghastly attack with a weapon on a hemophiliac.  Sorry Mrs. Johnson but it appears little Gertrude here has been bleeding heavier than usual what with her night time activities competing with the woodchucks in your neighborhood. Some services even go as far as to pick a random day to say - 'if you were to call us during the Chinese lunar month when the moon is axiomatically hugging the polar star with Jupiter intravenous when call volume is light'.  Well I will be damned.  I thought  I had checked with my astrologer before I placed this well focused call but  I guess this is what you get for listening to a quack. Umph! I am not sure which marketing genius came up with this personal touch concept of informing the caller that you are really a jackass for actually calling the customer serv...
Post a Comment
Read more

Of Jims and Johns

Here is another essay on the subject of first names. As in birth names. Or names provided to an offspring at birth. While the developed world tends to shy away from the exotic like Refrigerator or Coca Cola for their new production there is a plethora of Jims and Johns and Bobs or Robs. Speaking of which I do not think there is a categoric decision point at the time of birth if a child will be hereafter called as Bob. I mean have not yet met a toddler called Bob or Rob for that matter. At some point though the parental instinct to mouth out multiple syllables runs out and they switch from calling the crawler Robert to simply Robbie to Rob. Now speaking of - it is strange that the name sounds like something you would not want Rob to do - i.e. Rob anyone. Then why call someone that? After all Rob Peter to Pay Paul is not exactly a maxim to live a young life? Is it? Perhaps Peter or Paul might want to have a say in it? Then there is this matter of going to the John. Why degrad...
2 comments
Read more