Skip to main content

Eat Shit

Used to be that 'Genie in a Bottle' was a billboard hit. Now an incarnation of 'Eat Shit' or 'Coffee in the Poop' baby is somewhat indirectly top of the charts. As in coffee extracted from the poop of certain wild mammals - it appears is THE ELIXIR to have. How did the coffee bean get in the poop in the first place. You feed said animal said beans. From civets to elephants, coffee consumption is on the rise since the humans it seems are weaning off and resorting to Tea. Someone came up with the idea to stop the trend reversal (guess who?) and encourage the idiotic human race to try a new idea. Turd 'o' matic range of coffee makers is now soon hitting store shelves from Bangkok to Burundi to Baton Rouge and everywhere in between. Special manufacturing instructions will be shipped with each personally engraved stinking pot for the true connoisseur. Each comes with 20 servings of beans. The most exclusive collection will feature the actual turds still warm (vacuum sealed) and delivered fresh by overnite 'Poo' P S to your address. The jungle literally at your doorstep for the right fee. Photos of mammals that produced the beans will be available for an extra fee. Imagine immersing yourself inside the internals of a wild mammal sniffing all the aromas that lend your beverage that unbeatable flavor without leaving your family room. Adopt a pet foundations are partnering with the farmers to brand each species into exciting new outerwear and mugs. Now if I could only make use of my leftovers and come up with a capital idea I could retire and not need any caffeine to start my dull day.
Labels:

Comments

  1. RajendraDecember 7, 2012 at 6:19 PM

    Thinking out of the 'box' takes on a whole new meaning.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

New England is gleaming in the fall

 This autumn the weather gods cooperated as we took a family trip in the northeast to see six states that qualify or makeup what is known colloquially in America as New England. Mass, Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire, Connecticut and Rhode Island (tiniest state in the union). The outing helped tally up the states we either lived in, visited or have worked in to 47. Guess which three have eluded this intrepid traveling family. Any rate the drive was all in about 1,800 miles and included some memorable geographic wonders or points of interest.  Easternmost part of state of Massachusetts being one.  Furthest drivable road east in Mass being another. Visit to all Ivy League schools (term harkens to a collegiate athletics conference and generally regarded as elite academic institutes of some repute worldwide) is another random bucket list item of which this trip afforded the chance to knock two more of the list.  Dartmouth in Hanover, NH and Brown (and its sister institute the RISD  - school f
Post a Comment
Read more

Searching for a lavish 'fill in the blank with other adjectives and gender' in bed

 Many of the readers of this blog have experienced this. Strange sounding messages popping up in your text or WA or emails all day long from some exotic sounding locale with an out of this world individual looking for love, sex, money or other paraphernalia to get a high. I mean granted that electronic spamming is a low cost enterprise and all but the sheer volumes and the variety in these exhortations is beyond imagination. Having a desire to engage you in some sort of sexual payola or invest in some arcane crypto scheme must be a profound algorithm that someone from Oklahoma to Odessa is cranking on through the night and watching one in a few million fall for. Otherwise this nonsense would not exist I suspect. It would be funny to watch the lifecycle of some such persona that creates said content and that of a prospect for this invite becoming an unwilling or willing participant. Then that whole thing could go on some social channel and earn likes and subscriptions for someone else a
Post a Comment
Read more

Lakeside frivolities

 We moved to the Charlotte area not knowing where exactly our new home would be. Turns out it was by a popular lake formed by the damming of the Catawba river which flows north to south in the Carolinas. Local electricity generation utility built a series of dams along the waterway for hydro and couple nuclear plants as well to supply the state grid.  The lake our house butts into is Lake Wylie. While tract home build has picked up in the Carolinas the developer often carves out parcels that they can get their hands on leaving behind privately owned lots that the individual owner may not want to sell. Our house is part of a subdivision but backs into actual lake front yardage that has always been part of legacy family owned properties who chose to build a cabin or getaway and did not sell to a corporation wanting to build in the hundreds. As such we can see the water through the year but it does not afford actual water access.  That privilege is to our neighbors who still maintain thei
Post a Comment
Read more