There are many scales to measure weight, pressure, wealth, poverty, obesity and others. I want to invent one that can measure a being's mental state. I am calling it the Yum Yum scale (to be phonetically sensitive).
It will run from feeling chirpy on the far left to sheer boredom to outright panic on the far right. Now why would you want to do that? For one it is a good use of an otherwise futile Friday (which is neither a weekend nor feel like a workday conundrum). Secondly as I was sitting in the dentist chair today waiting for Godot (aka Dentist) I could not help think of how I would measure my present spiritual condition.
Godot because it always feels like there is an endless wait. Not sure why they make appointments when they know they are always running late. Besides you are always debating the whole value prop of being there in the first place. One more minute and I am out of here... at which point he shows up and escorts me to his inner sanctums to look at my inner sanctums.
The dentist chair ranks high /far right on the scale where you dread the inevitable buzz saws and high pressure water jets that are going to make an appearance within the confines of aforementioned sanctum providing jarring acoustics and a jaw disabling stretch that can last many minutes depending on the treatment.
Somewhere lower on the scale (moving right to left) is the wait at the car service dealership. Some refer to this as a lube job. There may be something to that. General waiting at said facility occurs as the conveyance needs its oil and gasket changed after three months of abuse at my hands and feet. But once your car disappears in to their tunnels and the cheery hostess informs you to wait in the waiting room and avail of their complimentary coffee - it sounds like famous last words. This would be a good time for a Jewish Joke channel to start loudly sharing its wealth. For that matter any jokes would do.
Flipping through the channel switcher yields soaps upon soaps which further frustrate the guest. Again on the spot yoga tricks might come handy - I am working on it.
Finally I can think of buying the car itself as one of the (hopefully infrequent) hair pull exercises that one subjects themselves to. You have no idea what the dealer is talking about - most of the times if you are informed consumer like I like to think of myself - its like a no win conversation with this idiot.
They seem to not want you to leave but their proposals make no sense and you are almost out of the chair when they invite more idiots from some inner rooms to join you in a coffee break. These wear more expensive ties and usually want to know how you are doing. I am not doing anything... I am going nuts - I want to leave.
I attempted to read this book by author Chuck Klosterman backward to forward but it started hurting my brain so I decided to stop and do it like any other publication in the English language. Start from page 1 and move to the right. Witty, caustic and thought provoking this is a book you want to read if you believe that the status quo might, just might be wrong. At times bordering on being contrarian about most things around us it tries to zero in on the notion of what makes anything believable and certain in our minds. The fact that there is a fact itself is ironic. Something analogous to the idea that you can never predict the future because there is no future. Many books and movies have tried to play on this concept - best that I recollect (I think I am) was 'The Truman Show'. This book by Klosterman attempts to provoke the reader to at least contemplate that what they think they know may be wrong. He uses examples like concept of gravity, and how it ...
Measuring spiritual condition is easy- it is counted by the number of pegs of spirits that you have imbibed. The higher the better-for you but not necessarily others.
ReplyDeleteto that I still say Yum yum!
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