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Vaguely Clear

Another rant on the business of weather forecasting.
Why do we need people to show us the weather on TV? Are we getting stupider? (if you caught the grammatical error then perhaps not).

Back to the fallacy of the whole idea of a weatherman or woman doing a show and tell in front of a blue screen with a clicker in one hand.

1. Most of the viewing public are not farmers and so do not really care for jetstreams and their inevitable flows and speeds that could affect that tomato plant in the backyard (that is if you were stupid enough to plant something like that instead of procuring a very cheaply available inorganic product from the local grocers' produce section).

2. Same with cloud formations (that no one really understands or cares about) but sound highly erudite. Another way to show off their pompous weather (limited) vocabulary. Whether their was an on shore or off shore breeze and that somehow affected the environment are you likely to - a. jump off a bridge? or b. Make an omlette? or c. Buy a new car? Really nothing makes sense but people clue in to the forecast like a ritual and waste another 5 minutes per capita watching this inane drivel.

3. Whether the weather in your cross street is likely to be frigid or mild or outright tropical you are most likely to be sitting in a temperature controlled automobile (with ability to heat or cool its individual occupants and coddle them with heated and cooled butt implements within feet of each other) so as not to be distracted by what was outside the cocoon. So again a pointless exercise from a practicality standpoint.

4. The other lunacy is the way weather people say their own names like they were addressing a gathering of AA drunks. Is this person personally responsible for the phenomenon for the whole week? If he or she is wrong can the American public sue their ass? Can they be taken to the wood shed or given a Christmas cookie at year end? What is the point of knowing that Spencer Christian with the weekend weather is on the 6 o clock or if it is Sandy Noclue?

5. Another favorite scam of mine is the use of the word DOPPLER in every forecast. I think it is more a way to Save Their Ass (blame it on Doppler) if things go south - instead of that promised northerly flow at 5 to 15 mph.
Then there is the heavy reliance on a larger and larger number to go with the idiotic Doppler. Like (for Seinfeld fans it is much like Kramers Commando 8000 shower head syndrome) our forecast is better than yours with a Doppler 7000 vs. a wimpy 500. No one in the viewing public knows what the $%#&* a Doppler is or where it comes from. Most think its Dopey at best or physically are (as they perpare to hit the sack contemplating that light drizzle during the morning commute - crap forgot to buy the wipers when I got those diapers).

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