Skip to main content

Vaguely Clear

Another rant on the business of weather forecasting.
Why do we need people to show us the weather on TV? Are we getting stupider? (if you caught the grammatical error then perhaps not).

Back to the fallacy of the whole idea of a weatherman or woman doing a show and tell in front of a blue screen with a clicker in one hand.

1. Most of the viewing public are not farmers and so do not really care for jetstreams and their inevitable flows and speeds that could affect that tomato plant in the backyard (that is if you were stupid enough to plant something like that instead of procuring a very cheaply available inorganic product from the local grocers' produce section).

2. Same with cloud formations (that no one really understands or cares about) but sound highly erudite. Another way to show off their pompous weather (limited) vocabulary. Whether their was an on shore or off shore breeze and that somehow affected the environment are you likely to - a. jump off a bridge? or b. Make an omlette? or c. Buy a new car? Really nothing makes sense but people clue in to the forecast like a ritual and waste another 5 minutes per capita watching this inane drivel.

3. Whether the weather in your cross street is likely to be frigid or mild or outright tropical you are most likely to be sitting in a temperature controlled automobile (with ability to heat or cool its individual occupants and coddle them with heated and cooled butt implements within feet of each other) so as not to be distracted by what was outside the cocoon. So again a pointless exercise from a practicality standpoint.

4. The other lunacy is the way weather people say their own names like they were addressing a gathering of AA drunks. Is this person personally responsible for the phenomenon for the whole week? If he or she is wrong can the American public sue their ass? Can they be taken to the wood shed or given a Christmas cookie at year end? What is the point of knowing that Spencer Christian with the weekend weather is on the 6 o clock or if it is Sandy Noclue?

5. Another favorite scam of mine is the use of the word DOPPLER in every forecast. I think it is more a way to Save Their Ass (blame it on Doppler) if things go south - instead of that promised northerly flow at 5 to 15 mph.
Then there is the heavy reliance on a larger and larger number to go with the idiotic Doppler. Like (for Seinfeld fans it is much like Kramers Commando 8000 shower head syndrome) our forecast is better than yours with a Doppler 7000 vs. a wimpy 500. No one in the viewing public knows what the $%#&* a Doppler is or where it comes from. Most think its Dopey at best or physically are (as they perpare to hit the sack contemplating that light drizzle during the morning commute - crap forgot to buy the wipers when I got those diapers).

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

New England is gleaming in the fall

 This autumn the weather gods cooperated as we took a family trip in the northeast to see six states that qualify or makeup what is known colloquially in America as New England. Mass, Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire, Connecticut and Rhode Island (tiniest state in the union). The outing helped tally up the states we either lived in, visited or have worked in to 47. Guess which three have eluded this intrepid traveling family. Any rate the drive was all in about 1,800 miles and included some memorable geographic wonders or points of interest.  Easternmost part of state of Massachusetts being one.  Furthest drivable road east in Mass being another. Visit to all Ivy League schools (term harkens to a collegiate athletics conference and generally regarded as elite academic institutes of some repute worldwide) is another random bucket list item of which this trip afforded the chance to knock two more of the list.  Dartmouth in Hanover, NH and Brown (and its sister institute the RISD  - school f

Searching for a lavish 'fill in the blank with other adjectives and gender' in bed

 Many of the readers of this blog have experienced this. Strange sounding messages popping up in your text or WA or emails all day long from some exotic sounding locale with an out of this world individual looking for love, sex, money or other paraphernalia to get a high. I mean granted that electronic spamming is a low cost enterprise and all but the sheer volumes and the variety in these exhortations is beyond imagination. Having a desire to engage you in some sort of sexual payola or invest in some arcane crypto scheme must be a profound algorithm that someone from Oklahoma to Odessa is cranking on through the night and watching one in a few million fall for. Otherwise this nonsense would not exist I suspect. It would be funny to watch the lifecycle of some such persona that creates said content and that of a prospect for this invite becoming an unwilling or willing participant. Then that whole thing could go on some social channel and earn likes and subscriptions for someone else a

Lakeside frivolities

 We moved to the Charlotte area not knowing where exactly our new home would be. Turns out it was by a popular lake formed by the damming of the Catawba river which flows north to south in the Carolinas. Local electricity generation utility built a series of dams along the waterway for hydro and couple nuclear plants as well to supply the state grid.  The lake our house butts into is Lake Wylie. While tract home build has picked up in the Carolinas the developer often carves out parcels that they can get their hands on leaving behind privately owned lots that the individual owner may not want to sell. Our house is part of a subdivision but backs into actual lake front yardage that has always been part of legacy family owned properties who chose to build a cabin or getaway and did not sell to a corporation wanting to build in the hundreds. As such we can see the water through the year but it does not afford actual water access.  That privilege is to our neighbors who still maintain thei