Since everything gets compared to the 'invention of sliced bread' I thought of what a slice might say to its doughy brother. Average life of a slice from rising to being consumed is usually a week and so the conversation imagined is in a compressed timescale.
As the loaf gets baked then sliced a new slice is born. Another one is right next to it. So as they get created they whisper to each other - what's with all this darkness? And suddenly there is light. The sliced loaves are exiting the tunnel and into plastic bags with a twist bound for grocer shelves near you.
Slice 1 says to slice 2, 'can I get some breathing room?'. Upon which slice 2 which is inside the stack says - boy what's with the roof on our head - I need to get out of this bag and go talk to those other guys on that shelf over there. I see nuts clinging to them like ants to honey - unlike us with nothing on but the edge.
Another one pipes up - 'And what's this BO? Do you have a yeast infection?'. Where upon the wise one chimes - of course its yeast...that is how I understand we were made. Yeast and flour are the ingredients which came together at the moment of the big bang and after the heat settled the loaf was born who got us sliced into existence.
Ah they all say - 'but then what happens next?'.
'Soon my friends soon - you will each get to see a different world - from being tossed around in someone's grocery cart to a bag to being stored in a cool dark chamber these things on two legs use to store other things..then the moment of truth - we get covered in a variety of gooey mass from sticky white mayonnaise to smooth butter - that is the best of the spa treatments some of us get to being stuck with smelly meats and cheeses to getting crunched as we enter the mastication chamber'.
Or else there is a quick way - they throw us in another hot chamber full of little wires and then we are TOAST!
Here is another essay on the subject of first names. As in birth names. Or names provided to an offspring at birth. While the developed world tends to shy away from the exotic like Refrigerator or Coca Cola for their new production there is a plethora of Jims and Johns and Bobs or Robs. Speaking of which I do not think there is a categoric decision point at the time of birth if a child will be hereafter called as Bob. I mean have not yet met a toddler called Bob or Rob for that matter. At some point though the parental instinct to mouth out multiple syllables runs out and they switch from calling the crawler Robert to simply Robbie to Rob. Now speaking of - it is strange that the name sounds like something you would not want Rob to do - i.e. Rob anyone. Then why call someone that? After all Rob Peter to Pay Paul is not exactly a maxim to live a young life? Is it? Perhaps Peter or Paul might want to have a say in it? Then there is this matter of going to the John. Why degrad...
Ha, ha, good one!
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