Skip to main content

Future Generations

There is a big problem with today's procreation.  The procree does not have a say in the matter.  For example he or she cannot procrastinate his or her arrival on the planet if the conditions are not suitable for arrival.

For example if there is bad weather at an airport the pilot of an approaching aircraft has complete veto power on whether to land in the muck or avoid the landing.  Come back later or go someplace else.  Why is it not the same with child birth?

Big problem.  In fact the problem is really embedded in the idea that the offspring does not have any say in the whole idea of being sprung.  People get drunk, get emotionally out of whack or whatever and bing - you have a crawler in nine months.  No discussion - no choice - pal you are out.

So as I theorize ground breaking ideas in my insightful writings here is a concept.  Babies will have ample opportunity to review their prospects before being born in the future.  Think about it.

Try to.

If there is war going on and you two (or more) decide to go at it to see if you can make chromosomes mingle or some such the production will hit a default check point in month 1.  An alert from the womb will flash on your wearable computer indicating their is a question brewing inside the oven and that it is marked URGENT.

The text of this message will ask for the State of the Union (as in the Marital one) and seek a neutral assessment from an entity say 'Moody's'.  Prospective parents will have to be ready to respond in 2 business days.

Once the report gets flashed back through ultrasound (during wellness checks) the next status update request will process.  Typically the bugger in the cooker would like to know how the first quarter went.   If both parents are gainfully employed and have good scores then the cooking can proceed to phase II - limbic development.

And so on and so on.

If at any point in the process there is a chance that the forecast for future propsects is dimming then the said crawler can use a delay fuse inside the womb to procrastinate arriving amidst uncertain times.  Also he or she can determine if the corporate culture is going to be suitable long term or if he /she should do any executive changes immediately.  These could be as simple as recommending a new paint color for the room or firing the father for incompetence.

Then there can be recommendations to ask for a game plan that explains the expectation from him/her and what if any resources will be available to achieve these goals.   If it is unrealistic in the eyes of the fetus then he can choose to entirely abort the mission or seek intervention from a specialty consulting business like McCanSee.

If due diligence proves the tide can turn then its a chance this kid is taking and will arrive well informed of the risk reward ratio so he or she can blame no one but himself for all future outcomes.

Comments

  1. Marrying corporate philosophy with marital..work of genius, giving control and responsibility to a guy in the womb.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Fetal attraction coming to a womb near you!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

New England is gleaming in the fall

 This autumn the weather gods cooperated as we took a family trip in the northeast to see six states that qualify or makeup what is known colloquially in America as New England. Mass, Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire, Connecticut and Rhode Island (tiniest state in the union). The outing helped tally up the states we either lived in, visited or have worked in to 47. Guess which three have eluded this intrepid traveling family. Any rate the drive was all in about 1,800 miles and included some memorable geographic wonders or points of interest.  Easternmost part of state of Massachusetts being one.  Furthest drivable road east in Mass being another. Visit to all Ivy League schools (term harkens to a collegiate athletics conference and generally regarded as elite academic institutes of some repute worldwide) is another random bucket list item of which this trip afforded the chance to knock two more of the list.  Dartmouth in Hanover, NH and Brown (and its sister institute the RISD  - school f

Searching for a lavish 'fill in the blank with other adjectives and gender' in bed

 Many of the readers of this blog have experienced this. Strange sounding messages popping up in your text or WA or emails all day long from some exotic sounding locale with an out of this world individual looking for love, sex, money or other paraphernalia to get a high. I mean granted that electronic spamming is a low cost enterprise and all but the sheer volumes and the variety in these exhortations is beyond imagination. Having a desire to engage you in some sort of sexual payola or invest in some arcane crypto scheme must be a profound algorithm that someone from Oklahoma to Odessa is cranking on through the night and watching one in a few million fall for. Otherwise this nonsense would not exist I suspect. It would be funny to watch the lifecycle of some such persona that creates said content and that of a prospect for this invite becoming an unwilling or willing participant. Then that whole thing could go on some social channel and earn likes and subscriptions for someone else a

Lakeside frivolities

 We moved to the Charlotte area not knowing where exactly our new home would be. Turns out it was by a popular lake formed by the damming of the Catawba river which flows north to south in the Carolinas. Local electricity generation utility built a series of dams along the waterway for hydro and couple nuclear plants as well to supply the state grid.  The lake our house butts into is Lake Wylie. While tract home build has picked up in the Carolinas the developer often carves out parcels that they can get their hands on leaving behind privately owned lots that the individual owner may not want to sell. Our house is part of a subdivision but backs into actual lake front yardage that has always been part of legacy family owned properties who chose to build a cabin or getaway and did not sell to a corporation wanting to build in the hundreds. As such we can see the water through the year but it does not afford actual water access.  That privilege is to our neighbors who still maintain thei