Future Generations

There is a big problem with today's procreation. The procree does not have a say in the matter. For example he or she cannot procrastinate his or her arrival on the planet if the conditions are not suitable for arrival.

For example if there is bad weather at an airport the pilot of an approaching aircraft has complete veto power on whether to land in the muck or avoid the landing. Come back later or go someplace else. Why is it not the same with child birth?

Big problem. In fact the problem is really embedded in the idea that the offspring does not have any say in the whole idea of being sprung. People get drunk, get emotionally out of whack or whatever and bing - you have a crawler in nine months. No discussion - no choice - pal you are out.

So as I theorize ground breaking ideas in my insightful writings here is a concept. Babies will have ample opportunity to review their prospects before being born in the future. Think about it.

Try to.

If there is war going on and you two (or more) decide to go at it to see if you can make chromosomes mingle or some such the production will hit a default check point in month 1. An alert from the womb will flash on your wearable computer indicating their is a question brewing inside the oven and that it is marked URGENT.

The text of this message will ask for the State of the Union (as in the Marital one) and seek a neutral assessment from an entity say 'Moody's'. Prospective parents will have to be ready to respond in 2 business days.

Once the report gets flashed back through ultrasound (during wellness checks) the next status update request will process. Typically the bugger in the cooker would like to know how the first quarter went. If both parents are gainfully employed and have good scores then the cooking can proceed to phase II - limbic development.

And so on and so on.

If at any point in the process there is a chance that the forecast for future propsects is dimming then the said crawler can use a delay fuse inside the womb to procrastinate arriving amidst uncertain times. Also he or she can determine if the corporate culture is going to be suitable long term or if he /she should do any executive changes immediately. These could be as simple as recommending a new paint color for the room or firing the father for incompetence.

Then there can be recommendations to ask for a game plan that explains the expectation from him/her and what if any resources will be available to achieve these goals. If it is unrealistic in the eyes of the fetus then he can choose to entirely abort the mission or seek intervention from a specialty consulting business like McCanSee.

If due diligence proves the tide can turn then its a chance this kid is taking and will arrive well informed of the risk reward ratio so he or she can blame no one but himself for all future outcomes.

But What If We're Wrong?

I attempted to read this book by author Chuck Klosterman backward to forward but it started hurting my brain so I decided to stop and do it like any other publication in the English language. Start from page 1 and move to the right. Witty, caustic and thought provoking this is a book you want to read if you believe that the status quo might, just might be wrong. At times bordering on being contrarian about most things around us it tries to zero in on the notion of what makes anything believable and certain in our minds. The fact that there is a fact itself is ironic. Something analogous to the idea that you can never predict the future because there is no future. Many books and movies have tried to play on this concept - best that I recollect (I think I am) was 'The Truman Show'. This book by Klosterman attempts to provoke the reader to at least contemplate that what they think they know may be wrong. He uses examples like concept of gravity, and how it ...

You are important to us

Followed by piano music. Followed by 'we are experiencing heavier than usual call volume'. Sounds macabre like bleeding during menstruation or after a ghastly attack with a weapon on a hemophiliac. Sorry Mrs. Johnson but it appears little Gertrude here has been bleeding heavier than usual what with her night time activities competing with the woodchucks in your neighborhood. Some services even go as far as to pick a random day to say - 'if you were to call us during the Chinese lunar month when the moon is axiomatically hugging the polar star with Jupiter intravenous when call volume is light'. Well I will be damned. I thought I had checked with my astrologer before I placed this well focused call but I guess this is what you get for listening to a quack. Umph! I am not sure which marketing genius came up with this personal touch concept of informing the caller that you are really a jackass for actually calling the customer serv...

Of Jims and Johns

Here is another essay on the subject of first names. As in birth names. Or names provided to an offspring at birth. While the developed world tends to shy away from the exotic like Refrigerator or Coca Cola for their new production there is a plethora of Jims and Johns and Bobs or Robs. Speaking of which I do not think there is a categoric decision point at the time of birth if a child will be hereafter called as Bob. I mean have not yet met a toddler called Bob or Rob for that matter. At some point though the parental instinct to mouth out multiple syllables runs out and they switch from calling the crawler Robert to simply Robbie to Rob. Now speaking of - it is strange that the name sounds like something you would not want Rob to do - i.e. Rob anyone. Then why call someone that? After all Rob Peter to Pay Paul is not exactly a maxim to live a young life? Is it? Perhaps Peter or Paul might want to have a say in it? Then there is this matter of going to the John. Why degrad...

Brown Motion

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