Skip to main content

Banning of the straws



In English there is a wonderful expression - Clutching at Straws.

This phrase is used to describe a situation when the clutchee is at the end of their rope (another curious expression where no rope is actually involved) in terms of their options. 

This is the case with the tree hugging crowd.  These self absorbed clowns try to find some item to draw attention to themselves so that they could be in the spotlight outside of the usual suspects getting all the air time.

One might be familiar with my similar expose (pronounced Ex-Po-Zay) a few years ago when I ranted about the banning of plastic carry bags at my local grocer.  Apparently the Oregon Salmon was choking on it and I proved mathematically that it was fake news.

This time the wrath of the anti plastic lobby is toward the last tube standing aka the plastic straws used by fast food establishments to let their consumers slurp their oversized sugary drinks.  C'mon really?

I say if someone wants to suck in their poison why are we interfering?  What better apparatus than a plastic cylinder to let them imbibe with the least bit of threat to spilling their otherwise sticky beverage?

Is this all we got left in the thinking department?  Hollywood - do you like the title?  Perhaps a movie is in the offing?  M. Night Shyamalan could take this idea and prepare a blockbuster Daytime Soap Opera where people move their lips silently and make sucking sounds due to the muscle memory of having straws stuck to their face for decades before the ban went into effect.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

But What If We're Wrong?

I attempted to read this book by author Chuck Klosterman backward to forward but it started hurting my brain so I decided to stop and do it like any other publication in the English language.  Start from page 1 and move to the right. Witty, caustic and thought provoking this is a book you want to read if you believe that the status quo might, just might be wrong. At times bordering on being contrarian about most things around us it tries to zero in on the notion of what makes anything believable and certain in our minds.  The fact that there is a fact itself is ironic.  Something analogous to the idea that you can never predict the future because there is no future. Many books and movies have tried to play on this concept - best that I recollect (I think I am) was 'The Truman Show'.  This book by Klosterman attempts to provoke the reader to at least contemplate that what they think they know may be wrong. He uses examples like concept of gravity, and how it ...

Peru, South America - Week well spent

Growing up in India the only Peru I knew of was a tropical fruit (Guava for those whose lingua is English).   Not until high school did I discover that it was also a country in the South American continent. So it was this early April week that we decided to hit up Peru - the land of the once glorious Inca people that lived 500 years ago.  Today Peru is the third largest country on that continent with a diverse geography that stretches from the drier Pacific coast plains to the high mountains of the Andes and the Amazon river valley to its east. Our trip was primarily a pilgrimage of sorts to visit the last remaining, lost (now found and documented), large scale, mostly undamaged, city of the Inca nobility, called Machu Picchu (MP).  The Inca were great architects and builders.  MP is a UNESCO world heritage site affording it high visibility to the tourism trade and therefore crowded year round.  Our timing was not quite high season allowing us...

You are important to us

Followed by piano music.   Followed by 'we are experiencing heavier than usual call volume'.  Sounds macabre like bleeding during menstruation or after a ghastly attack with a weapon on a hemophiliac.  Sorry Mrs. Johnson but it appears little Gertrude here has been bleeding heavier than usual what with her night time activities competing with the woodchucks in your neighborhood. Some services even go as far as to pick a random day to say - 'if you were to call us during the Chinese lunar month when the moon is axiomatically hugging the polar star with Jupiter intravenous when call volume is light'.  Well I will be damned.  I thought  I had checked with my astrologer before I placed this well focused call but  I guess this is what you get for listening to a quack. Umph! I am not sure which marketing genius came up with this personal touch concept of informing the caller that you are really a jackass for actually calling the customer serv...