Skip to main content

Monitoring Modi

When namo visited the valley elite a few days ago I wonder what gift exchanges took place.  I remember watching old DD news where state dignitaries visiting Indira always handed her some ridiculous sword or hand held weapon along with a basket of fruit or flowers, book of texts, garish garment, or other white elephants as a sign of cordial relations.

They in turn received equal part metal scraps and heavy unwieldy objects to lug back home.  No wonder they needed a bus full of servants schlepping along.

If we imagine the forward looking Modi and Tim Cook meeting one wonders if Tim presented any heart rate and interest rate monitoring watch, which was so next gen it was still in beta.  It made 99.99 % accuracy prediction of what the rates would be 'tomorrow' with a direct link to major news outlet in case of any incident.  When someone alleged that Modi was a heartless crook he could check the heart rate for the next day to see if there was any merit to such pronouncements.  He could also suggest Rajan of the RBI what he thought he was going to do.

Modi on the other hand could have gifted the entire Bhagwad Gita on a thin paper scroll - so thin that Tim had to buy a new scanning electron microscope to make out what the heck was written on it.  Embedded in page 78 Tim found an entire manual that Arjuna used to repair Krishna's 500 hp motor in the middle of a war using only horse urine and straw.  Some of the chants in pages 97 and 111 were also coded in a futuristic language based on Sanskrit that talked of sleek designs so sleek that he had no choice but to fire Jony Ive back to London and instead hire a top notch Sanskrit translator.

Modi did not realize though that the CIA had also planted a camera in the watch that recorded his daily activity and therefore had a secret dossier on him.  Modi though smarter than the CIA had immediately switched the watch to his body double who appeared to be perpetually traveling whilst the real Modi took naps at home.

One day the double collapsed and CNN broke the news, a day early. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Of Jims and Johns

Here is another essay on the subject of first names. As in birth names. Or names provided to an offspring at birth. While the developed world tends to shy away from the exotic like Refrigerator or Coca Cola for their new production there is a plethora of Jims and Johns and Bobs or Robs. Speaking of which I do not think there is a categoric decision point at the time of birth if a child will be hereafter called as Bob. I mean have not yet met a toddler called Bob or Rob for that matter. At some point though the parental instinct to mouth out multiple syllables runs out and they switch from calling the crawler Robert to simply Robbie to Rob. Now speaking of - it is strange that the name sounds like something you would not want Rob to do - i.e. Rob anyone. Then why call someone that? After all Rob Peter to Pay Paul is not exactly a maxim to live a young life? Is it? Perhaps Peter or Paul might want to have a say in it? Then there is this matter of going to the John. Why degrad...

But What If We're Wrong?

I attempted to read this book by author Chuck Klosterman backward to forward but it started hurting my brain so I decided to stop and do it like any other publication in the English language.  Start from page 1 and move to the right. Witty, caustic and thought provoking this is a book you want to read if you believe that the status quo might, just might be wrong. At times bordering on being contrarian about most things around us it tries to zero in on the notion of what makes anything believable and certain in our minds.  The fact that there is a fact itself is ironic.  Something analogous to the idea that you can never predict the future because there is no future. Many books and movies have tried to play on this concept - best that I recollect (I think I am) was 'The Truman Show'.  This book by Klosterman attempts to provoke the reader to at least contemplate that what they think they know may be wrong. He uses examples like concept of gravity, and how it ...

Presumptive Society

Today's world is hyper connected.  I am not so sure what it means but you hear it a lot.  It is probably hyper but not sure how connected it is.  Sugar (fermented or not) is available in many ways than before and so getting hyper is easy.  It is probably more a threat than cocaine since it is sold legally. And what is this connected stuff?  Most people I encounter seem disconnected from reality.  So going back to this assumption that we are connected there are subtle and no so subtle instances of how brands and companies and middle men try to portray someone - A linkedin profile for somebody working for X years at a place advertises to the connected network that so and so is CELEBRATING X years @ Such and Such Inc. Do we know if (s)he is celebrating or cringing?  Perhaps a better way to portray will be - So and So LASTED X years @ such & such inc. Then it exhorts the readership to go ahead and congratulate them for this lasting effe...