I was curious to see how in the marketing driven world I could improve on how much stuff is sold. After all we are called consumers. So how do I make sure we continue to add to the gross mass available for consumption. One way is to have more of everything per capita. More cars, shirts, computers, phones, ketchup bottles, kale salad, yoga pants etc.
Another is to grow the size of the pie. Marketers love this sort of BS. Pie in this case refers to the available size of public willing to consume. So I got to researching what exactly that looks like. According to some yoda that crunch numbers for a living the earth produces approximately 19 new faces for every 1,000 of us each year. During same time some of us farts disappear. At the approx gross rate of 8 per 1,000.
So net about 11 new dudes or dudettes or transitory entities show up for every 1,000 which equates to about 75M naya mukhdas. Many many selfie takers, bookers and tweeters. Ergo more phones.
Hello!
Now what if we were to work on bringing back the dead? Not literally but somehow convince the living that the dead wanna continue to send their thoughts from another world. It is such an ingrained habit they couldn't give it up even if they were DEAD!
Deadly Idea no?
If at first we are able to capture half the market for dead dudes it will boost the economy by 50% that is 30 odd Million more phones. Of course we have to make sure the phones are special. Example they come with - you guessed it - a Dead Battery. After all it makes perfect sense. Then we have the question of what apps you want on it. Who will upgrade them? What domain do you register these deadbeats?
I think we need to find a Dead Shahana to answer these vital questions.
Another is to grow the size of the pie. Marketers love this sort of BS. Pie in this case refers to the available size of public willing to consume. So I got to researching what exactly that looks like. According to some yoda that crunch numbers for a living the earth produces approximately 19 new faces for every 1,000 of us each year. During same time some of us farts disappear. At the approx gross rate of 8 per 1,000.
So net about 11 new dudes or dudettes or transitory entities show up for every 1,000 which equates to about 75M naya mukhdas. Many many selfie takers, bookers and tweeters. Ergo more phones.
Hello!
Now what if we were to work on bringing back the dead? Not literally but somehow convince the living that the dead wanna continue to send their thoughts from another world. It is such an ingrained habit they couldn't give it up even if they were DEAD!
Deadly Idea no?
If at first we are able to capture half the market for dead dudes it will boost the economy by 50% that is 30 odd Million more phones. Of course we have to make sure the phones are special. Example they come with - you guessed it - a Dead Battery. After all it makes perfect sense. Then we have the question of what apps you want on it. Who will upgrade them? What domain do you register these deadbeats?
I think we need to find a Dead Shahana to answer these vital questions.
daedly stuff, I say.
ReplyDelete