Brown Motion

As I traversed the length and breadth of India this summer I was fortunate to more than sample my fair share of nostalgic treats and some new ones. When the Michelin folks talk about their stars and Zagat goes ga ga over a chef and their haute cuisine, they often seem to completely miss the most important aspect of what makes for a mouth watering experience.  Taste.  Thus the most recent top 100 restaurants in the world includes ZERO Indian establishments. I think the world is missing out. India offers a cornucopia of tastes.  As chaotic and screwed up as it is, the geography has still retained its heritage of cranking out perhaps the most diverse culinary experience this planet has to offer.  From the morning chai to the evening mouth freshener there are more SKU than Messrs. Proctor and Gamble may have dreamt of in their entire existence.  That is saying something.  Here then are the varieties, the platters, the textures and colors...

Here is a glimpse of some of the wild that still manages to cling on while humans diligently destroy all habitats in India with their ugly concrete structures, designed to be an investment more than a home. Worm Eater - Beldih Club, Jamshedpur, Jharkhand Kingfisher in Shilparamam, Hyderabad, Telangana Shilparamam, Hyderabad, Telangana Shilparamam, Hyderabad, Telangana Golconda Fort, Hyderabad, Telangana Hills near Visakhapatnam, Andhra Pradesh Female Koel, Kothrud, Pune, Maharashtra Koel or long tail cuckoo (male) eating young coconut, Kothrud, Pune, Maharashtra Night prowler, Bat, Kothrud, Pune, Maharashtra Male Baya Weaver bird in Magarpatta, Pune, Maharashtra Magarpatta, Pune, Maharashtra  

Before I left India I decided to get some much needed trimming done - of the hairy kind.  With that in mind I visited a modest establishment in Pune area in the midst of a middle class neighborhood. As I approached the shop it looked dark.  Inside.  But it was 3 in the afternoon.  So I pushed ahead and knocked on the door.  It swung open to reveal a man lying prone on a bench with a kerchief tied around his forehead. He promptly swung his legs down and indicated he was open for business.  Okay then.  I figured there would be light.  There was not.  He chose to operate in some sort of mood lighting that was the waning sun barely making it into the close quarters - inspite of all the reflective surfaces in front. So what is it going to be was his obvious question.  I told him I like it as short as possible with a pair of scissors and comb.  I did not see modern electric blades that my American barber would use.  He said he ...

Things you see as you travel can be monotonous or unique to a locale or geography.  Alaska is vast and monotonous with not much happening. Parts of India on the other hand are a 24x7 comedy or tragedy depending on your perspective. People live in trash - they create it and throw it right where they eat, work, sleep or live.  Reader's Digest could do another series titled - Life's like Trash (and metaphorically I found some people treat their lives so).  So much so that they do not have another point of view - it is second nature to dispose whatever garbage they have in their hand to earth right there.  That it is of no use and is in their hand or mouth or attached to their being is reason to dump it instantly or spit gobs.  Lack of latrines instigates some other behaviors noted earlier. Power outage - while rampant in certain parts and not so in others is a non-major event.  No one is that dependent on any particular service that an outage would caus...

Another classic title for a wannabe Hollywood thriller.  Hardly.  Real life experience - 100%. I had decided to visit the well preserved relics of the Chola dynasty along India's eastern shores this summer.  Of import were two sites - Gangaikonda Cholapuram 100 km south of Pondi and Breehadeshwara Temple (Shiva HQ) another 100 km ot so to its south outside Tanjore (aka Tanjavore). Having my next train connection in Tanjore I decided to cab it from Pondi (the onetime French bastion) to visit these one off and relatively inaccessible UNESCO sites before culminating at Tanjore station. So I worked with my local contact in Pondi to find a relatively economical mode of transport yet with the luxury of stretching out, perhaps catching some much needed zzz's as well.  The hotel manager came up with a dude named Hitler. No kidding.  I inquired with as much PC manner as possible as to the origin's and validity of the fella's name but came up with zilch. Okay -...

It's fun to alliterate.  Be that as it may my adventure on India's eastern shore included a couple of pit stops at 1,000 year old massive temples - one called Gangaikonda in Cholapuram between Madurai and Tanjore and the other called Brihadeeshwara just on the northern outskirts of Tanjore. Now one thing worth mentioning at the outset is I would not recommend anyone to actually take the trip I took. I had nothing better to do and so I chose to satisfy some innate curiosity about the ancient engineers and architects while hitting a couple of rail landmarks to satisfy the rail geek in me.  This is not your average traveler profile although I did run into a couple from Delhi that seem to have no predefined itinerary or agenda and were.wandering the south. Thankfully I did not run into too many travelers perhaps as they decided that this weather was best left to lunatics.  Back to what the Cholla achieved. So almost a 1,000 years ago these enterprising kings built comp...

Could be the name of the next drama from Hollywood.  But it was the scene at the world's richest temple in Trivandrum in Kerala state of India. It is at this 2000 year old residence of Krishna in his reclining posture on nothing less than his version of Laz boy -a multiheaded snake called sheshanaga, that you find both priests and police guarding the entrance. It is believed that the erstwhile Travancore (wonder if they were travelers to the core) kings amassed large fortune in gold and precious stones and stashed it here as a older day fort Knox and funded their infrastructure projects etc. Anyway I chose not to enter the premises on the basis that the temple was dictating sartorial practice of wearing a south Indian style loose cloth over my jeans. I had to buy said garment and that did not sit well with me. Anyway pictures coming later- what was permitted anyway between the pujari and mamaji gang. People with row number 15 to 30 come forward says the AirAsia 15 year old...

Traveling anywhere can be enjoyed if one is able to afford the right sunglasses.  Meaning if you have an open frame of mind and are able to look at the bigger picture life is painting it has a lot of comedy in it's canvas. I know it's easier said than done. I have been fortunate now to be able to take time away from work and browse through the landscape that is India for a month.   Below are some real world signage I saw and the insanity that is prevalent in Indian society. Ironies and ad hoc regulations rule the day and can indeed drive someone insane if living through it on a daily basis but it is easy to make sarcastic remarks when viewing the idiot parade as a short term visitor. On a boat ride to visit Vivekananda's epiphany inducing rock on the southernmost tip of the country I had to get on a private boat to cross few 100 yard of sea water from the mainland. Getting on the 5 minutes boat ride has hours worth of BS drama. First - two signs for two lines.  Dis...

As cultures go so goes the future of a place.  An innovative culture will lead to sustainable growth in a region and provide potential for prosperity of the citizens. An open and inviting immigration policy dictates how diverse a society can be.  Of course there are some relatively basic behaviors or traits that contribute to national identity or at  least explain why things are the way they are. One such idiosynchrosy in India is of the use of 'missed calls'. Indians do not believe in concept of voicemail. You can try to reach someone by calling and if they don't answer you try again.  The recipient of the missed call depending on their mood might choose to call back the number showing as missed call depending on if it is identified as a contact. Even better is the use of Simple Message Service or SMS aka texting. People have phone plans that are on tight budget and that helps with managing monthly payments. Now of course you can see the downside to this ...

My two days in this city - state - union territory whatever you might call it are about to come to an end tonight and I proceed to see the temples built by the great Cholla kings two millennia ago. What I discovered on my maiden voyage in this town is the following- People are generally friendly and I found it extremely safe to be about in the evening hour in streets I had not seen in my life.  That to me is a big deal in India.  Hospitality industry seems to have matured to the point where they will genuinely interact with you to help you rent a room - from a lodging establishment - or serve food as you like it in portion size you want.   As a single person I found some rate and tariffs unsuitable since they advertise for two but food vendor agreed to negotiate rather than lose the customer entirely.  This is progress. Fairly tidy considering the filth predominant in many other cities including erstwhile conservative Pune. taxi driver explained the layout ...

An institution here along the promenade of Puducherry, a former French colony on India's eastern shore, Le Cafe is a 24 hour dining establishment.  A former customs house when boats docked at its doorstep today it provides an eclectic menu with emphasis on French style breads and pastries. On a warm, humid, breezy evening with tourist and local crowds alike flocking the sea side I opted for some butter scotch ice cream. Two small scoops in a bowl.  Perfect. From the hotel I am staying at it is a mile walk but required a couple of right and left turns.  When asked a local elder where the ocean was he said- what is ocean? The only acceptable noun understood here is beach or sea.  So I was momentarily swimming naked until it hit me to simply ask for the beach. Spent an hour walking the length of the break wall which has sand dumped on it to give the illusion of a beach.

When you buy an AC or first class ticket they do let you use their AC waiting halls at the railway station. They are bit courteous on board- from the TTE to the other staff doing house keeping and food service. There is actually some house keeping including floor mop and bug spray. Food and beverage is hit or miss but they do have some service - for nominal costs. State of the coach including curtains and general upholstery is tired and dated.  But again for the revenue they make and expending at unhealthy levels you probably cannot expect more. After all they also have the unenviable title of the largest employer in India. 

In my humble opinion the world's largest formally built toilet facility has to be the railway tracks laid by the Indian Railways.  With I believe 70,000 miles of total track length criss crossing the sub-continent there is vast square footage available to its destitute masses for the morning, noon and night time urge to discharge effluent material. Given it is on active track one cannot escape the vista if traveling by train. Incredible India indeed. How about watching people taking a dump with your morning coffee as you look out the window, bleary eyed from your AC coach.  Sometimes the train will even slow down to let you take it all in.  Of course when the first class passangers take their dump the train toilet promptly releases the content on the same tracks.  Gives loose motions a whole new meaning. India's biggest crime against humanity has to be illiteracy or not being able to educate its masses.  The poorest are illiterate and vice versa.  In...

From 3,000 feet elevation where the Araku valley is located and at a distance of 100 km NW of Vizag, I took a local bus back to Vizag. Quite the ride this was.  Few things of note - Took train up the hill and bus coming back down. Had not eaten in 12 hours so it started nagging me - I had just come off this binge eating after all and cold turkey wasn't my thing. So the only thing I found en route to Araku was the dollar menu. On a station half way up I got warm rice with few curries and rasam all tied up in thin plastic baggies.  Literally for a buck or about 60 rupees. It was quite alright as far as food goes - all items were warm cooked relatively recently-- the rice probably was from the farms not even a few miles away.  What was interesting was the  meal deal included another baggie with white liquid also warmed to around 40 Celsius. I first guessed it may be milk but that could not be.  Milk has poor shelf life so it had to be buttermilk.  I...

Many memories come back as I get on to my first (after 21 year abstinance) passanger train operated by Indian Railway.   This one from Vizag taking me to a scenic hilltop of Araku. The journey in this case is supposed to be scenic and memorable and train arriving on time at Vizag is a good start. While I had some help securing my seat on first class compartment and have some space (not quite ready to dive back to second) I am already in full sweat mode. Outside temperature at 5:30 am along the beach was in the 80s F range. The station as usual happens to be communal useless people gathering spot if nothing to ogle at passing traffic and perhaps make a quick buck hustling someone for something. While I now wait for departure I am thinking of my most recent observations - TV and reality - Almost all CM being investigated or being asked to be by CBI - high crooks to non crook ratio. All roads perpetually under construction. There is a permanent haze or smog made of li...

Confusing title?  Not really. My flight into visakhapatnam or Vizag for short- India second largest port city on its east coast was on a low frills airline called Spice jet. It was literally shut door fly and land affair with Abba piped in to treat the assorted crowds largely made of Andhra natives. Once landed -late due to ATC delays or something like that- I headed out in the dark of 10 pm ton find the conveyance that could take me to my resort. or so said the agency doing the booking. No cars.  Not at the prepaid desk nor outside the airport. Only a bunch of suspect auto rickshaws that are a 3 wheel contraption that gets you around. Local language skills on my part to handle the nego - nada. What to do now? Found that of the 120 passangers many had similar predicament albeit they knew the language. So chatted up a young lady with a roller bag and dressed urban - stereotyping will get you far - and another geeky dude to see if we could figure out a shared a...

Each rider of any form of road conveyance in India is permitted to define their own take on what mechanism or thought process to employ to transport their own being to their intended or maybe not intended destination. This requires an innate Zen like ability to focus on seeing the path where mere mortals aka foreigners may not see any.  This practice has been cultivated over millennia and does not require the observance of man made color coded lights to dictate next steps when in charge of a form of transportation. Our role modes aka Deities employed  animal power including cows, tiger, rodents to teleport themselves so smoke belching contraptions take note. Direction of travel is also a vague western notion along a highway or byway.  One should be able to perform any radius turn in any direction at anytime to reach their desired path.  In some towns or cities there may appear mask wearing, helmet donning, creatures waving their frontal extremities or practici...

Five days into it and here are some preliminary observations- Pros - Many an airport facility (large like Delhi and Mumbai or remote like Ranchi) has been revamped to the point it has performed better than an American property especially considering the volume of humanity it handles. Since people in India don't arrive in Yukon or Denali type truck monstrosities they are generally forced to pack light making the domestic flying easy on the boarding and deplaning part. Many new flyover and express roadways are done and seem to perform a decent job shuttling gobs of people Large cities with budget are erecting new metro rail lines to further the infrastructure required to shuffle people around at cost neutral basis Generally loafer public seems to have been put away or put to use compared to my last visit 7 years ago All of this almost makes my better half think that she might have the pleasure of my company next time she visits.  Not so fast I say- Cons- There is s...

Our daughter has a conscience and after noticing my glutton like behavior right in front of some destitute children she admonished me and urged us to buy some food for them. So I did and decided to hand it out to a string of homeless adolescents lining the street.  Big mistake - I got mobbed. Kids with energy to rival Pele leaped out of nowhere and yanked at the food bags before I even had a chance to organize. The ferocity with which some of the elder kids jostled for contact and the prize at the expense of weaker kids was at once disgusting and understandable. But my height gave me some advantage and I did make sure that the shy and not so quick children also were fed. That done as we headed away I got yelled at by some ancient ladies under a tree who felt cheated by not being offered any food. They had a loud carrying voice that let it be known they too were hungry and that for them age was a handicap. Well - I will think about this another day.

Hope my readers don't share this sentiment in the affirmative.  No I hope not.   I did hear this remark loudly on an Air India flight from Mumbai to Delhi. This was our maiden flight with India's national carrier and while our overall trip was only delayed by 90 minutes it was exceptional in many amusing ways. We left Mumbai for Ranchi (caputal of newly created state of Jharkhand), which was via Delhi which meant two take offs and two landings. I dread such arrangements but getting to our final destination of Jamshedpur (3 hour drive east of Ranchi) leaves us with not many options. It was during our first leg to Delhi that some lady passanger in a row front of us lost their abdominal composure and began showing facial stress.  The air hostess noticed her plight and decided this breaking news was worth sharing with the entire flight which was getting bored out of their mind staring at soiled seatbacks. So began a detailed Q and A between hostess and passanger with t...

All unique - is what makes the title special. As I sign off from Jamshedpur and we get ready to leave this once small village transformed by a shrewd Parsi business man from Bombay over a 100 years ago into an empire that bears the Tata family name, I am struck by the variety of food this place had to offer. North east Indian cuisine is what sets it apart from what one might enjoy in other parts of the sub continent. As a foodie I dispatched a fair amount of calories including - Shahi Korma chicken chicken tikka Frankie aka egg roll kathi roll rasgulla Kala jamun Chana chur - spicy trail mix with raw onion and lime dosa - south indian crepe that the local chef pulled off well Idli - rice and lentil batter steamed into pillowy goodness Rava upma - spicy dense porridge like food made from wheat semolina Dry fruit dessert vadilal butterscotch ice cream Chenna pulav - a sweet rice treat interspersed with fried sweet dough balls chum chum - another milk based sweet and ma...