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Were the Maoris native Indians?

As in from the erstwhile Indus Valley?  Not the kind found in recent North America.  I say this after many an encounter  with road signs announcing the arrival of villages like Hari Hari, or Rama Rama. Then there are the language and sound similarities like warewa...or haka which is a war boat with similar sound to onwards ho used by bullock or horse cart drivers in Indian villages. Another tongue twister was a west coast village on the South Island called Punakaiki.  Like the aunt from Poona - modern day Pune.  There are probably some old aunts in there but the attraction was the amazing limestone rock formations., some look like stack of pancakes and some are large bridge like structures formed by wind and water erosion of the rock surface hugging the Tasman Sea.

1 frame per kilometer

3,000 of them.  Approx distance covered and pics we took of places we went.  The NZ trip was the most photographed trip in terms of how much there was to capture through the lens much to he dismay of my family.  They thought I'd lost it (again) as they often could not locate me on long walks.  I might have been enraptured by some bird or a funny sign along the road we travelled. Losing oneself physically and mentally can come easily whilst meandering throughout NZ.  Beginning the journey in the city of sails - Auckland - them traveling all the way south beyond the 45th parallel to experience the roaring forties...latitudes with high wind..then back up through glacier country and the western spine of the southern alps we arrived back to Ack for the final flights home. I ran into quite a few new migrants that have made this country their home - some from Pune, India, some from other parts of India as well..students, learning to cook to manage resorts to others that are here to te

Eyes half shut - New Zealand diaries

This is the path our travels took us on.  Auckland to  Rotorua to Taupo (largest lake in NZ) to Wellington to Picton to Christchurch to Queenstown to Franz Josef (the alpine glacier) to Nelson close to Marlborough country - no relation to the smokes -  to Picton again for the ferry crossing into the north island and Wellington.  Then onward through some scenic villages to Auckland for the flight home. So 10 towns in 20 days and you can imagine sleep is a rare commodity.  Also one can always sleep later when there is humdrum of regular life to deal with. So with that sort of half awake and excitable state helped with local cappuccinos we flavored and sampled the isles of NZ.  Reminded me of the Ajit line - to paraphrase - scenery usee sone nahin degi aur thakann usee Jagne nahin degi (the nature scenes overload will not let him sleep while the same sensory exhaustion will not keep him awake). Tremendous tectonic and volcanic activity over eons has left the landscape amazingly dive

Grinding plates and learning kiwi

Since Abel Tasman ventured out three centuries or so ago and found the islands where the Maoris lived New Zealand  has been forming and norming.  Sitting on the Pacific plate it's been grinding its way under the Australian plate causing all sorts of tectonic upheaval recently witnessed as the Feb 2011 quake in Christchurch.   Decimated city center which now after 3 years is like a Hollywood set of a WW II city hit by the Luftwaffe.  We walked to get a bite from one of the restaurants that operates out of a shipping container - there is a whole mall built out of these.  Surreal yet somehow in a odd way a testament to human resilience. On our journey into the islands which officially began in Auckland on the northern of two main islands, took us through some mild but delicately perfumed Rotorua - home to the famous geo-thermal valley of Wakarewarewa.  I bet some Sufi passed through at some point exclaiming praise for what he must have seen...or smelt..sulfur in the air....wa re wa.

Travelogue - New Zealand - journey to middle earth

One Dutch sailor whilst on a voyage of discovery few centuries ago stumbled on these islands in the South Pacific and as it reminded him of his native Zealand the name New Zealand came to be.  Or so says some tale.  To us it was a respite from the go go work year and a chance to unwind. So this winter holiday we decided to spend three summer weeks in NZ.  Our flight took us from San Francisco to Auckland which is the largest city in this country of around 4 million people. Some immediate differences that become apparent - it has very few people per square mile..compared to even some parts in the US, especially Silicon Valley which seems outright congested in comparison. Second - the place is green to the point that I am proposing a theory that states - NZ supplies oxygen to the rest of the planet.  It has a cornucopia of evergreen and tropical plantation all at the same time along with acres of rolling green hills and fields with berries and corn.  Frankly it felt like we were dr

My experiment with truth (before midnight part 2)

One of them anyway.  It was conducted in the late hours of Thanksgiving Day.  A day when per tradition you are supposed to stick your fingers through those belonging to your loved ones and sit around a table or fire or whatever tableau suits your style and give thanks.  Thanks to the provider, purveyor, worker or whatever or whoever you feel thankful for. Instead the new America has converted their age old pastime into a new game.  Shop till you drop or are dropped and be thankful for it.  The latter in the form of someone trouncing you on their way to find the latest sale item in a grossly crowded superstore that can offer anything from an underwear to a computer to a lawnmower and grub killer. As if shopping was an entirely new discovery for mankind thousands descend on variety of big box retailers (as they are affectionately known) across the big nation as early as 6 pm (so when did we close again?) local time, like honey bees coming to mate during peak season.   From police pre

Fantastic Mr. Feynman

Saw a wonderful BBC documentary showcasing the life of Richard Feynman.  Theoretical physics can be a very drab subject to appreciate but in watching how this Nobel winning professor went about making it easy for the lay person to understand made him a more wise person IMHO. Understanding is only part of the solution but to put something to good use requires it be narrated or communicated simply.  He knew how to do it.  From working to develop the A Bomb to solving the puzzle of what caused the Challenger Space Shuttle to blow up, he spent his life investigating and exploring and never being tired of being curious. Some of his books like 'Surely you are joking Mr. Feynman' provide a vivid look at his work and personal life of 70 years.  In it he reminisces of his curious habits and encounters that drove people wild but also proved a point beyond dispute. The documentary provided insight into his life from his close friends and family who are all accomplished math geniuses

Ugly or Not? Does it matter?

I discuss all sorts of things with a friend that is native to the Golden State and use her as a sounding board for a lot of my blog material. What is good about this colleague is that we chat about anything under the Sun and Jupiter and being from two different civilizations in our past helps posit views that can be reviewed in context. She (another beneficial attribute to add color to the discussion) is a mutt in terms of her genetic background and I could be considered a nut. My upbringing in trying times of sorts with a barely available parent since both went to work long hours was in retrospect blog material. I was left amidst a crumbling creche inside a super crowded condo complex with 10 toilets (with 3.5 in semi working order) for 120 or more individuals with varying degrees of dysentery. The baby - through young adult - sitting came from business savvy but dramatically under equipped team of a lady of advanced age and her woefully underage daughter as primary caregivers

Before Midnight

A sequel to some earlier Linklater directed movies with Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke (a modestly successful writer) this was the only one I actually saw.  Got it for a buck at my local DVD place.  Worth it.  Watched it twice actually - partly because my hearing is going and partly because the banter was enjoyable.  (So it was only 50 cents per viewing.  Even better). That is what this movie's premise is - Banter amongst the protagonists - but also across three generations whose paradigm on the contract called marriage has shifted with time. Set in some corner of land near the Mediterranian  - its supposed to be a Greek island somewhere - the couple has been invited by an expat author who hosts them to spend time with his family.  They arrive with twin daughters from Paris - and engage in interesting discussion on the author's point of view on how life has evolved for him (through his books) and what it might bring in the next half century. Human condition has been explored

Exclusively Blah

These days everyone it seems wants to be the center of attention.  From yo yos in school to people at work believe that they have the power to steer marketing and manufacturers to cater to their specific whims and therefore be the one to have THE thing on the market.  They all seek exclusivity. Guess what?  Marketers are responding with an ever increasing plethora of goods and services to provide for these ever increasing wants.  End result - every other yo yo now has so called brand goods to wear, drink, yak/text on, drive and be seen with (accessories and sometimes other yo yos too). Which leaves the likes of me who shop at Target with really the truly exclusive stuff on the market - because No One Else Wants It! With shirts that do not display any critter representing a French or Faux European brand (mostly American companies trying to pretend to be someone else but essentially using Asian labor to crank the same crap with different reptiles or avians sown on) I end up with un

Content contained for contentment

Over the millennia human species has been defined as social.  Now we are redefining social as a channel of communication using technology to aid or so it seems.  In order for this social experiment to succeed it is important to understand that we love content.  Content defined as anything that has provided the needed mental nourishment for the times, be it information or entertainment or both. A recent interview by Charlie Rose with a panel comprising of media folks triggered this thought that    clear trends now indicate the audience now has the power to control what to watch/consume, how and when.  From early times when you could actually decide which cousin to visit to seek out free entertainment, today you can use the power of the internet to achieve more or scale in techno geek. All content is after all data and if it's data it's easy to package it and deliver it to a variety of platforms in terms of  form factors or channels.  Content can be simply a phone call to a r

Trust fundamentally

Just watched a Mira Nair film called 'The Reluctant Fundamentalist', based on a book written by a Pakistan born author about the changes in American sentiment post 9/11. While a love story, its part political drama laced with sharp acting from an international cast of renowned and some relatively young actors. The theme of the movie revolves around the aspirations of a once well to do Pakistani kid that wants to restore his family and himself to the status they lost to shifts in culture in his native Pakistan. He chooses to find that dream like many migrants in the USA.  As he ascends the corporate ladder with his innate financial acumen, he also is shown reflecting on what he is slowly giving up in intangible terms. Capitalism is a multi faceted temptress and the protagonist is clearly sucked in to its eddies.  He realizes that color of skin after all gets thumped under the bureaucratic weight when it comes to him being typecast as a threat in America.  Human conditi

On being a popular CEO

Every year the Silicon Valley hosts a number of galas to rival the Oscars.  These are for geeks.  They are hosted by large successful corporations in America that mint money hand over fist each year and then like a strange historic ritual throw big parties to appease their imported slaves. These corporations by virtue of being based in the Silicon Valley of California tend to be in the software development business.  Some of this software runs back and front office functions for other larger companies while some build portals or websites where millions of people gather to read, be entertained or gather information.  By and large they either build the hardware that makes the guts for microprocessing or the software that runs on these machines.  The machines have varying form factors from large screens that can replace an entire wall to miniature versions like mobile phones or watches that users can wear and be distracted every waking second. After using talent from impoverished coun

Inclusive or Exclusive

Age being what it is I cannot exactly place where I came across an article that compared the benefits and disadvantages of having an open mindset vs. being closed off from other ideas and cultures. While America has had a long and capitalism based tradition of inviting the minds from outside its borders to make a home in this country same cannot be said for many nations across the planet.  What makes Switzerland a Switzerland or Japan Japan is fundamentally based on the idea that they are essentially a monocultural and monotheistic walled off society. It is therefore unusual to smell Desi Ghee in Switzerland housing as it will be to hear Bollywood music in Osaka. There is a rare individual who I know that has migrated to the above mentioned countries in the last couple of decades to make a permanent residence (as permanent as permanent gets these days).  Marrying an incumbent citizen is a path to do it but then again its not something I have encountered much of. It also means t

Changing Titles

I shall henceforth direct.  Don't ask what or how but my title shall say it all.  As in Director.  First I thought they existed only in movies but I was proven wrong once I started learning the intricacies of corporations large and small. In order for anything to happen some one has to direct.  Even the police on the street have to direct traffic or else the society can instantly fall in disrepair. I was once a Business Leader and I led but somehow new management thought it was not quite evident what I was leading or whom, thence decided to scrap this nebulous prefix to my name and replace with a title of Director. Now mind you a few years back I already was a Director but then they thought there were too many directions and not enough traffic so it would make sense to simply lead.  Hence I became a leader.  A Business Leader.  Or so it seemed until there were other Heads (Head of Division X, Y and others) that showed up in hierarchical manner above me.  So now I was obviousl

name game

To add color to a humdrum day one can resort to thinking how conversations might flow if you were henceforth called WHAT. In America lot of the inane greetings and questions would take on a whole new hue.  My barista in the morning takes my tea request and wants to pencil my name on the cup to identify my container for the assembly line mixing the drinks.   So what is the name?  To that the response could be - YES.  So she comes back with - I'm sorry - what is your name?  So you patiently confirm - Yes. She is now miffed and the line behind me has started growing.  So she decides to write YES on the cup, somewhat puzzled that its a name.   So being indifferent to the whole exercise I move on and wait to get the beverage. The orders start getting shunted out at the pick up window.  Chai for Yes - he yells.  So someone looks at it and asks What?  So I say Yes.  So he goes - really YES?  So I say - No its What. Still confounded he says - I know it says YES.  Can you believe

For better for worse

As silly promises go there are those that in some variation or another are made or as they say taken by the parties getting married.  Holy is how this union is described.  There are holes in the whole scam alright.  First - who is this guy in the middle making the uniting people take the promises?  When did we start inviting him/her? One may say the process is defined by religion and the script tuned to suit the religious beliefs of those that are involved in this union.   (Reminds me of a recent joke about the wife leaving her husband on religious grounds - he thought he was God - she did not). I think the key words are missing in these scripts - as they are in all union contracts. 'I shall not strike' would be a start.  I mean you rarely have an army go on strike - we are busy bombing Iraq and suddenly word comes from the front - the 8th brigade has struck.  Not Saddam's bunker but men and women in uniform (that is another classic  - why can't  I fight in my under

To have and To hold

'Chilled' Beer on a sweltering day comes to mind.  But of course that is not the purpose of this blog. Its about the variety of silly things we humans have been involved with which seriously puts a dent in our race to be the smarter species.  Flock of migrating snow geese have more sense. So on the subject of vows - that itself is indicative of what is lacking in society.  We have to promise, take vows, and so on for everything from practicing medicine (forget the real stuff), to getting betrothed (more on this priest/salesman in a frock later), to ensuring our money will be worth something tomorrow.  Each dollar bill is a promissory note backed by the full (not partial mind you) faith of the Federal Reserve. So what is with all these promises?  Are we still in kindergarten?  I promise I will bring you a lollipop tomorrow if you let me kiss you today.  Well maybe not kiss but you get the idea. Then there is the hilarity of the 'breaking a promise' that inevitably

About Aisles and We the People

As far as jackass commentary about the state of our state or union or these 50 US goes it gets predictably retarded as days go by. Well for starters not since 1995 we shut our shit again.  As in the Federales went on an unplanned but completely predictable hiatus.  Its also referred to as the US government shutdown. Why did we shutdown?  Because the Prez could not or did not make enough effort to reach across the aisles (pron - Ayeels).  I did not know he was shopping groceries for so long.  What aisles are these?  And who came up with the dumb pronunciation for this word anyway? And no its not Isles its Aisles.  Bipartisanship is dead is why.  No wonder - never heard of this ship before till now.  Not here nor near any isles. Then there is the fix to fix this mess.  It requires good old western type GANGS to be created.  There have been gangs of five then gangs of eight and more gangs of other idiots.  All they have done is gone behind closed doors (now that is a neat trick -

Pronounced Dead

A lot of headlines in media are Hollywoodised by these two words - pronounced dead.  First shot then pronounced dead.  Or he was later pronounced dead.  After arriving at the hospital with multiple gun shot wounds he was pronounced dead.  DOA is another way to pronounce this. What is weird is before they can spell check or learn proper English and pronunciation they hasten to shoot the subject then do all the pronouncing.  May be grammar was not their strong suit in school. Something is going on.  If they keep doing this then they will eventually stop pronouncing altogether.  Just shoot then shoot some more.  If someone asks for something by way of pronouncements shoot some more. How's that for a pronouncement? I pronounce you HUSBAND and WIFE... really - what if he did not take lessons in school - would he have trouble pronouncing? I mean who hired this jackass anyway? Its like another peeve I have -  this other word in English that is an antonym of itself - COMMUTE.

How's everything?

You find what you need?  I mean my grocery store clerks are getting all philosophical on me.  I walked in last night for some 2% milk (rest was water - I know what a scam) and as I step up to pay - this high schooler with a name tag that said Samantha or Amber or some sap from a tree, wearing a rubber band and beads on her wrist goes - 'so did you find everything?'  I was in the middle of a new story idea to blog about so I experimented with her.  About the idea I mean and she totally got rattled.   I told her I was among other things looking for intelligent life. Another thing I have been observing in society is females who have this rubber band on their wrist and never know whether to wrap it around their hair that is oozing out of their skull or keep it on their wrist.  They seem to fidget with it in meetings and conversations.  I am not sure what's going on there.  I mean no other accessory gets this treatment - there is no one twirling their purse or wallet on thei

Bird Shit on the MBAs

Make that birds.  Pigeons and gulls no less.  There is a theory about being bird brained as being smarter than most humans think and I think there is something to it. So it was with amusement that I watched the lowly gulls go about their morning defecation on the scores of executive types waiting to catch their shuttle bus from a local train station to their important jobs to make the world a better place. It is amazing that a person's ego can be deflated so fast and permanently that people will actually reconsider their commute choices as a result of avian bowel habits.  When you see all those idiots with bagged doggy poop walking behind their four legged domesticated animal you have to wonder about where we go next.  Maybe we just give in entirely and start living with the animals right there on the street and raising a leg when the moment comes to relieve ourselves. Do it right in the middle of a Macy's shopping extravaganza as we caress the next generation of foamy

Stop Press

These two words were quite mysterious, growing up or when I first started understanding the English language.  Also my growth (as it were) amidst a bunch of relatives that had an occupation that involved printing literature in the local newsmedia added to the puzzle. Who had to stop and what did they press?  Of course the realization that 'Press' meant anyone from the news organization (at least at that time) or a journalist of some kind impressed me with the idea that stopping them during their runabouts was not a smart thing to do. If you see a frenzied journo the last thing you want to do is get in their way.  You will be the one that gets pressed much akin to being gored by a bull during the inhuman sporting practice followed by people in Northern Spain.  They call it running with the bulls.  Now who has more sense in the melee that follows is debatable but you get the idea. Anyway the reason for the title and the long preamble to the main message is that STOP PRESS i

Jective or not to Jective

People use adjectives without knowing they are using them and the folks reading or listening are equally enamored by their use or clueless as to whether they are warranted. First off I am not even sure where the word 'adjective' derives its orgin.  There are certainly no known jectives so to add an ad in front of it like you would to a verb is bizzare. Then when we are supplied with them we use them willy nilly (need to find out where this one comes from or whether nilly willy would have the same effect) as in to describe - Raw Sewage - is the cooked version slightly more rare or palatable to a different audience? Raw Video - again is cooked or treated video something that needs disclosure? Outer Space - typically NASA would not have ventured there had it not been OUT THERE.  So no they have not done any Inner Space research.  They leave that to the less qualified medical profession. Exclusive Footage - why am I interested in exclusivity of anything?  If I am watchi

Big Data

I am contributing to it.  What I find amazing is that the big money is now in big data.  So the scam goes as follows. First create methods and tools to allow for a lot of people to spew out a lot of nonsensical data.  Then claim you have the magic bullets to harness all that big data.  Then claim that you can access the big data using weirdo sounding platforms like Hadoop. Then claim that using advanced SEO and Decision Scientists who would use analytics like a chef would use a spatula you can target the most valuable customers with the most relevant messages. Mining for information is more lucrative than mining for gold.  There is an inherent belief that all the data out there has nuggets and the big westward migration of the 1900s to pan for gold is now becoming the pan chewing PIO's (person of Indian origin) quest for the next IPO. In the process some of the established players are taking notice and offer the silver bullet of being a one-stop shop to address all your dat

What color are my eyes?

Maroon ... staying up many hours after work sucking beverages with high OH (hydroxl) content, in the city (or accurately on a man made island) by the bay.  I had been invited as a guest to a local billionaire's software company celebration - an annual ritual that occurs on Treasure Island. This time to add to the evening frivolities he invited a pop band called Maroon 5 - apparently the in thing amongst a certain demographic the noise was lost on me and clearly sent the message that crowds were definitively not my thing. The view of the night skyline from a ferris wheel at the foot of the newly decorated bay bridge was awesome but the sea of humanity trying to wave and compete with the real deal right outside was somewhat retarded. I felt marooned would not have been far from the truth.  The food service was widespread as were the abundance of portable potties and device charging stations.  But the quality of the mass produced and served alcohol and nutrition did not impr

Got shot

As English language goes getting shot is an attention getter.  Shot with what is a logical question.  So this AM we went to get the ritualistic Flu shots for the family.  As in prevention against the pesky influenza virus strain for the year. There was an orderly line in front of the clinic.  As in people were standing in organized fashion - that does not mean there were orderlies attending to each other.  The line curved around the building but was being tended to by volunteers in orange vests who were partially functioning.  It was early and they were volunteering for a donut and coffee. So then they come around and hand out forms to fill.  More paper than the volume of vaccine being injected into the humans but hey the law is the law.  Why they cannot use prior year information and simply click on a screen and go is beyond me - but I have a faint suspicion that there are a lot of things beyond and above me that I have not been alerted to - yet. A man was offering his wife his

About that Haircut..

So as promised towards the end of my prior discourse I promptly went in search of new material to blog about.  That came in the form of my visit to the barber. I believe it says Salon on the neon, in funky script somewhere over the door.  Hey but who cares - its the cheapest mowing facility available in town.  Run by a 5' dude from Vietnam who we shall call Mr. K.  That itself should be fundoo enough to fill pages. So it is.  First of all there are a plethora of half ass partially ripped signs on all walls indicating the cost of an adult haircut with a 30% premium for those wanting to use plastic to pay him instead of paper. Then comes the ATM machine next to the signage but next to the till.  This availability at the point of sale yields some nice commissions to Mr. K from the daft folks that walk in with nothing in their pocket except their ATM card. I walked in on a weekday morning knowing that this is a sure fire way to be in n out in under 10 minutes.  I do that when c

Future Generations

There is a big problem with today's procreation.  The procree does not have a say in the matter.  For example he or she cannot procrastinate his or her arrival on the planet if the conditions are not suitable for arrival. For example if there is bad weather at an airport the pilot of an approaching aircraft has complete veto power on whether to land in the muck or avoid the landing.  Come back later or go someplace else.  Why is it not the same with child birth? Big problem.  In fact the problem is really embedded in the idea that the offspring does not have any say in the whole idea of being sprung.  People get drunk, get emotionally out of whack or whatever and bing - you have a crawler in nine months.  No discussion - no choice - pal you are out. So as I theorize ground breaking ideas in my insightful writings here is a concept.  Babies will have ample opportunity to review their prospects before being born in the future.  Think about it. Try to. If there is war going

Looking to move

to a new planet.  I have concluded that which ever way I choose to look at the creations in front of me - organic or inorganic - its getting real boring.  Delusional (including myself) does not even begin to cover it. Being delusional is accepting that there is a baseline that is considered non delusional.  Problem is there is no proof that says that the people defining said baseline were themselves not. Venus and Mars according some dude are taken or may have traces of what we see on this rock so I suppose I have to stretch my imagination a bit further.  A place where the concept of pushing paper or its static equivalent does not exist. Most of what humans seem to be doing anywhere on the planet is pushing ridiculous amounts of paper or vapor or just plain electrons.  Ponzi would be a mere euphemism to describe the ridiculous schemes being hatched and the shells that are left behind. As a species we seem to have bought into it wholesale though and are hurtling through space an

Ethnic branding

Some ideas for products and branding for the Indian subcontinent - 1.  Parampara Diapers (to compete with Pampers) 2.  Shakkarbhog Kafi (to compete with Starbucks) 3.  Nayak Shoes and other parphenalia (to compete with Nike) 4.  Appam (all devices used for staring at other people's humdrum lives to compete with Apple) 5.  Khilona (all local sedans to compete with TOYota) More when I get some caffiene into me.

Where are my drugs?

I occasionally read up on Indian mythical tales as narrated by those that claim to have an inside track on the authenticity of these beyond sci fi events. As you peruse the happenings millenia ago where the likes of Ram and Laxman (no lax man this) and the sages that educated them you are left to wonder simple questions like - 1.  What sort of caffieneted beverages would they have in the morning?  I mean to go looking for wackos with swords and tridents about to pounce on you - you must need something more than Red Bulls? 2.  What sort of medication were they using?  I mean with today's technology we still are faced with high incidence of BP, ED, MS, and not to forget Fungus.  In spite of so many antibacterial soaps et al we cannot seem to avoid the deadly Coli this or that so these guys must have taken something - many had a colorful life sometimes losing track of who was sleeping with whom.  3.  Which stores offered their orange shaded garbs?  Or was it simply a matter of

Class System

Ever wonder how humans can be swayed?  Well it does not take much apparently.  Not Harvard degrees or fancy MBAs.  Even Morty Seinfeld knew that you moved merchandise uisng dim lighting and cheap fabric. Many American companies tend to think that by classifying their wares in distinct classes they can offer product for every customer segment.  They go to great lengths to explain the virtues of what incremental benefit the next category of product would offer its user. If you think about it that is the dumbest idea ever.  Different stores in exclusive neighborhoods along with brand specific marketing and fancier models to show off the wares?   They should all take lessons from airline industry and sell their crap back to back with a thin curtain dividing the offerings.   Also make all the losers walk right through the high end product so they can gape and aspire and come to hate the low end merchandise. But no - they actually create separate malls and stores to house their lowly c

Whales, Tapers and other idiota

A newspaper in some part of the world 50 years ago would have had words like 'Government', 'Food', 'Housing' maybe 'Wars' in some headlines to keep the product exciting. Turn to 2001 and beyond and the lexicon is completely unrecognizable. As a people we have been introduced to concepts like sound bites, talking points, headline news, breaking news, newsflash et al. To keep the humdrum machinery going media people aka editors and journos have resorted to terms and jargon that spans the ludicrous to the outrageous. Whales once thought of as the largest sea living mammal appeared in suburban London under the auspices of an American bank founded by an ex oil tycoon. A artisinal term for crafting pottery became a Federal Reserve Bank induced event called Taper. Then there were the Bailouts and the variety of Gates (not Bill but any scam or scandal that for want of readership sold quickly with a gate attached at the end). Bubbles outside of a pa

Kenya vs. Andhra

There is some organized running event about to happen in the SF bay area.  As organized sports go these days 'Marathons' have very low barriers to entry - to both organize and participate.  What with multitude of diseases against which humankind is losing a one way battle some yoyo comes up with a colored shirt and ribbons (that have hitherto not been claimed as proprietary by cancer survivors or aids walkers or liveweak organizations) and presto. There is a new marathon event born every 2 miles. So back to the title of this ramble.  I spotted natives of a southern province in India of which there are more than there are apps on Appstore and who reside in the California's Silcon Valley.  The region is known as Andhra Pradesh. What I mean is not just spotted them but that they were actively running - without shoes.  Now when it comes to the tales of Have vs. Have Nots this one is a new flavor.  First you had people that had so much food to eat that they had to run afte

trading temples

Similar to the hilarious movie title starring Dan Ackroyd.  I debated with the title for this episode with a close contender being 'how long is your line?' I will explain.  When it comes to trading shares in a publicly owned company people being people resort to the intelligence of some harvard graduate with a fancy title at a fancy Jewish sounding business. These wizards concoct theories on what makes a stock worthy of trading and present convoluted logic that will contrary to the hippocratic but consistent with hypocrisy oath line their pockets first. One such buffoon has been measuring the length of the line outside the Apple stores to determine if their stock was worth buying. Now by his perception of reality we should encourage our dharmic leaders in India to do the same.  Not stand outside a fruit market to see how long the lines are but rather outside a given place of worship to see what the take is. Then consistent with their catholic cousins take best practic

Bumper Literature

When you drive as much as I do in California you end up looking for distractions from the actual act of driving.  Enter fancy vanity plates and bumper stickers on vehicles.  These range from clever to moronic yet everyone takes their shot at them. Vanity plates is the height of - yep - vanity- because people actually cough up more money to their governments to explain their thoughts on the license plate of their car.  Its their paid license to exercise their first amendment rights. Most of these same folks also complain about how their government is out to get them on variety of taxes.  Yet they think nothing about putting their thoughts on a plate like 'LAWYAH', or 'K8SBMW', or 'PORHSA'.  Duh? Then come the stickers.  These can be applied on bumpers or any part of your automobile that you feel is reasonable to hold the item and ensure large readership.  Substantial revenues are collected by a variety of sticker crafting institutions including schools, col

Are you ugly?

You betcha. If you really think about the humanity that passes you on the sidewalk, in buses, at work or in the public restroom how many do you think qualify as superficially attractive?  Hardly 2%.  I mean the word handSOME says it.  Its not handMANY.  I don't even know what the true etymology for this stupid word is. Then again its an Asian immigrant's view who does not share the apparent tone, texture and body makeup of his Caucasian or other continental cousins.  Most immigrants from Asia arrive in the US to perform tasks that require non visible above average performing organs such as duramatter.  But it matters not in the vanity starved world. In the rat race of humanity race matters especially if you look like a rat. In fact if you get the sense you are ugly think optimistically that you may be able to outsmart and outwit your fancy cousins in most events requiring intellectual capital.  For example - not going broke. This by no means is an attempt to stereotyp

Public Properties

Of all the silliness in America there are a couple of institutions that do wonders for its people or anyone who cares to visit. First on that list would be the public libraries across all states, counties and towns.  Funded by taxpayer money they have seen a slow degradation of service in terms of open hours or staffing levels (both physical and mental) but nonetheless they serve as a vast treasure for someone just hungry to read.  You will be surprised at the content they carry - in some geographies in several languages. Inspite of the lack of enthusiasm on part of the staff, that I too (inspite of dulling of the senses) remember from two decades ago on our first encounter with this system; the librarians are largely a friendly bunch with the information desk glad to assist if you had a specific query. The library also provides a place of refuge in times of local crises, fires or displacing events.  They serve as a shelter in case of extreme weather and for people who could not

Pass Out

Perhaps I have dwelled on this idea before but hey age is a wonderful thing - you can pretend its the first time each time and you get a hall pass. As curious expressions go this one is out there - including 'out there' but lets focus on - 'Pass Out'. In India it meant you graduated from one stage of your meaningless life into another (like from school to college) except you did not have the intelligence to know what was coming was more of the same. In the western world typically it has come to signify a state close to or equal to comatose.  Comatose is not the fifty first state (to clarify for some half wit that may get confused) but its where most drivers on the highways are as an example. Then there is the expression used at gatherings of all kinds where items or food or beverages have to be distributed in somewhat organized fashion. Then there is the most critical of them all - as in when I swallowed a goat bone (I love goat meat) unbeknownst to me - unt

Of Unions and Onions

A tale of two opinions. Stateside specifically in the SF bay area, a lazy and super entitled transit rail workforce is asking for more to do less (not doing more with less mind you).  Those would be the lazy and incompetent Union staff that leave dirty trains for the enjoyment of commuters. Then there is India with an Onion crisis on its hands.  I wonder if that is causing anyone to tear up?  As they peel this one it appears that prices are rising faster than gold and petrol.  What gives? Groupon (yes the very same that provides 90% discount on Thai massages stateside) is/was offering 80% off a bag of 10 kilo onions in India (that is 20 lbs for igno-runts) that caused the site to crash.  This inspite of Onion vapor's tendencies to revive someone who has crashed. A black market in white onions is now operating in parts of India.  To add color to this story its reported that people are developing bunions while walking in banians to fetch the onions from distant towns.  Its li

Are you sleeping with him?

Let me see how many people click on this blog.  Its really an experiement. Certain phrases are more a Hollywood creation than reality I think.  'Sleeping With' is one such.  It immediately brings negative connotation to mind when used in a sentence or read in a book or watched as part of a movie dialog.  It titillates some gland somewhere I bet. But why is that?  Why is 'sleeping with' misconstrued as such?  We are brainwashed is why.  You could logically be sleeping with someone meaning just that.  Sleeping.  The 'With' is the culprit I think.  So now let us focus on that word.  The dictionary merely describes it (I mean With) as 'accompanied by'.  Demi glazed chicken with asparagus.  Coffee with whipped cream.  With.  Nothing more nothing less. I slept with Amanda.  Amanda accompanied me in the act of sleeping.  Or vice versa.  What is the problem?  Frankly I am not even sure I slept with Amanda since I am not sure if she slept before or after

take one pill

Engineering advances far outnumber and outpace those in the field of medicine.  Over time we have continually seen the collapse of variety of electronic devices and mechanical ones to where you can now drive out of a showroom with a high speed computer, radio, camera and a timepiece on four wheels that can have you accelerating at 15 miles per second.  All this while emitting no toxic gas. Medicine on the other hand still has a variety of pills for fighting or helping different bodily functions and then again many are not so smart - its hit or miss.  Personal experience and personal opinion. Its not like the take this pill and go to bed joke that really works.  Its a litany of visits and non stop poking and prodding to ultimately guess the root cause (my dentist can attest) or so we thought. Apple computer (which was the original name of the company) was more a phone company than a computer company but really sold a mini computer packaged as a phone.  Or wait.  It ends up selling

Recommendations

What is it with someone recommending another someone or sometimes themselves to a certain role or job or relationship?  They start describing the many virtues and the advancements and the accomplishments from the past.  Although past results are no guarantee of future outcomes. We see it in our daily lives - from a good doctor to a skilled plumber to a vesatile restaurant to a good toothbrush.  There are whole businesses that thrive on someone else's ability to recommend something to somebody else. Of course what I find fascinating is not so much that we are inherently a species that likes this social interaction but that we feel compelled to expand on the recommended item or individual beyond what is necessary. If I want a landscaping professional I do not want to ask my friend his opinion only to hear - talk to Renaldo - he is really good.  Why is mere talk to Jose not enough?  Is it because there is some lingering doubt in my friend's mind that he sent me a wacko last

Ones and zeroes

It's all ones and zeroes these days.  Your entire existence is captured in bits and bytes which ultimately are electrons in a computer.  Represented as one and zero.  From your very existence in the form of a unique ID, issued by the state you are in (intoxicated truants get their own id) to your bank account balances and stock holdings or a company's balance sheet to a government's budget are simply random electrons forcibly organized to represent something of value.  If the power goes out one day (that is a strange expression - where does it go out to?) these weird charges go crazy and all could be lost.  Big Zero. Similarly in real life you are either a Zero or hero.  As in some One.  Up and on the go or Down and out.  Binary - nothing more nothing less. People are always trying to take themselves seriously and are in an eternal quest for oneupmanship.  South Koreans recently decided to build the world's tallest invisible skyscraper.  If that is not a new twist o

Shelf Life

I am not going to bore you with a tale about the life of a shelf.  Or describe in gory details (sidebar - what is the opposite of gory - ungory, kali (for those that are multilingual)?)  what material a shelf can be made of. Rather - I got to wondering what this cliched term actually meant.  When you study 'Inventory Management' (fancy way of saying - where is my S**T or I can't find any of my S*%T) you first encounter this term in its formal glory. It signifies the time a widget spends sitting on a shelf before its consumed.  Consumed itself has different connotations depending on who is doing the consuming.  So it is basically the life time calculated by subtracting date of use or expiration from the date of arrival (on said shelf). Physical products like soap, toilet paper, cookies, candy, juice, pens, paper, trousers, computers, phones, cars, aircraft all have varying durations of shelf life defined by how well they can service the end user.  Consumables by defini

Like anything

Facebook founders would love the use of this ubiquitous phrase used by Indians in their daily conversations. Our GDP is growing like anything you know? It is usually articulated not as a question but something of a fact.  The you know serves as a crutch to end any sentence. Like anything is also a strange comparison used to describe anything from wildfires to rape to state of  the union to your child's intellect.  He is smart like anything you know? Other phrases or words commonly heard in conversation in India and not elsewhere include - Diaspora Harmony Like that only

Dumb ass cuss?

Syriasly?  Get it? I mean the uproar in the American political landscape about whether we the freedom bag holders should meddle yet again is as dumb a question as whether India should host another religious festival. Duh? Do people not have better things to focus on like paying attention to problems that are right in your own yard .. Perhaps fix the aging infrastructure ...which could apply to the US these days as much as India oddly enough. Meddling in other people's tragedies is not a solution for anything.  If it were we would have seen a utopian planet long back.  Many in history have shown up at someone else's doorstep and have left with dismal results. Frankly it is obvious that there are vested financial or political interests at work that cause people in power to do what they do.  Ever thought of helping out the poor saps in Africa who brutally kill each other daily  for variety of reasons primarily in search of basics like water and food?  Then there are thos

Ek Kilo Google eh?

What do Indian Halwai's (dessert makers) and Google's mobile operating system have in common? That depends - apparently a lot of said purveyors of desi delicacies use their trusty Google OS (Android) powered phones to operate a business or conduct idle chit chats (to go with some chaat). Also in its latest incarnation of an oriental twist on a western brand, Android is out to get a short list of sweet names for its latest OS version.  Hot contender after Jelly Bean is Kaju Katli. I saw other suggestions like Ladoo, Jalebi and even Vada Pav (desi burger).  If that came to pass you can imagine the local yokels saying they have the latest Kaju Katli in their pockets.  It can be viewed favorably or with angst by Chitale (a regional brand leader in desserts comparable to a Parisian Bakery) and their other Bandhu (brethren).  Imagine people wanting to come to Chitale and ordering their mithai (sweet bites) and then walking to the phone shop next door and asking for Kaju Katli