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Indian mythology reimagined

Since the origins and geographic location of the epic tales are always a matter of debate I decided to rewrite some of the story lines to craft a newer version of the mythological events.  This time instead of the action happening in the northern plains of Bharat they happen on the prairies of America.

Circa before Jesus makes an appearance.

Basic plot - Various polygamous families are settling in what will later be known as Utah.  Some are proclaiming themselves as kings while others are meekly accepting their fate and working for below minimum wage for these tyrants.  Aspirational kings are spreading their turf and annexing areas and renaming them for their own names.  Kans promptly calls his territory Kansas.  He further decrees that the any new land found beyond Kansas will also be his property and be called ArKansas.

Meanwhile some of his children wander off into the dark night and start their own cults further downriver.  His sister meantime also abandons ship and goes and has many kids one of which has it in for Kans.  He shows up one spring evening and goes for Kansa's jugular.  That time came to be known as the Witching hour and the place today goes by Wichita, Kansas.

Krishna later took to raising cows in the deep south and decided to get into the dairy business with his girlfriends.  They churned a lot of cheeses and milk products that were very popular in their time.

Later Krishna also picked up some useful hunting and tactical weapons skills which he imparted to a gang of five that went to war with a freakish gang of inbreds that called themselves the Kauravas.  He also found part time employment as a charioteer for one of the lead members of the Five Man Army.

They had originally decided to form a garage band but gave up for some exciting action on the prairie with these good for nothings, decimating them and came out unscathed.

PS:  It is a matter of some anthropological interest that a present day man called Donald could be a descendant of the bizarre cult that was called the Kauravas.

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