Overbook.com

I had an epiphany in light of the Divided Airlines story that has been dragged and kicked more than a dead equine deserves.

I have registered a new business which essentially constitutes a website (and app of course) titled Overbook.com.  It will strictly seek out those flights and routes that are routinely overbooked and try to get members a seat on those flights.  Especially if you have no intention of flying.  It is required though that the ticket holder /member make themselves available on that assigned day and date at the port of departure. 

Base memberships start at $100 a month.  Once at the airport our gold ($200 per mth) and platinum ($300 per mth) members also get a free Uber to the nearest dollar store to stock on supplies like chewing gum or floss.  Platinum dudes or dudettes get a free Burger too.  Fries extra.  Cost of ticket not included in any membership level.

Once back at gate you proceed to travel as one would, except you have high chance that you will be one of the 200 odd people being offered an opportunity to give up your seat prior to wheels up.

Now we will also provide an audio cd and e-book with ‘how to stay tuned for the overbook situation seat trade’ scenarios.  They will be described in great detail for all major airlines on which the purported passenger(s) get booked.

One of the first rule for all of our unlikely passengers is to wait in the gate area till the entire flight boards.  Often the clueless staff discovers their plight after repeatedly doing the same thing week after week, only when all the cattle are stuck on the tube.  There is a chance that you will be the first to hear of it and easily go forward to claim your prize.

If you have to board of course come prepared with no carry on except a rollaway bed that you can spread if you have to randomly sleep at airports where you give up a seat.  Our app will offer a direct deposit from the airline you were apparently flying to your chosen Paypal or other bank account.  Airlines chosen are those that offer cash incentives rather than more crappy seats on their own planes or vouchers for future services (which you were least interested in anyway).

We also have a stable of legal beagles standing by should a 'major airline'esque scenario repeat itself.  We offer a lesson on playing dumb, being aggressive and collaborating as needed.

High rollers will be booked on a continuous flight plan that allows this gimmick to be repeated ad nauseam.  Of course this is a distraction very much like gambling where nothing is assured but it is the (literal) high of what you might be able to score.  Our business plan is based on sometimes oversubscribing a flight by ourselves booking it in its entirety for all of our participants thereby giving the house (us) and the participating flying fakes an outcome that is desirable.

So we hope you will take advantage of this unique business idea and for starters invest hand over fist in our soon to be going public entity.   We accept all manners of currency including those that are going under.  We just rank order your chances of being on the right flight to the lowest likelihood.  Hey we all cannot be winners!