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Which of the following is true?

During the recent total solar eclipse the planet saw a series of unusual events -


  • The president saw the face of god in the sun when looked at without protective glasses
  • Birds flew backwards for a period of 2 minutes during totality - exception being a turkey in Hawaii which did not see the eclipse at all and had no way to communicate with its fellow birds of a feather on the mainland to figure out the ins and outs of reverse flight
  • The stock market stopped displaying any price movement for 2 minutes of totality except the price of bitcoin which surged 10,000% for the same period and then promptly went down to 3 dollars as the sun shone
  • All traffic lights in America were stuck on yellow as a show of solidarity against darkness on the yellow sun
  • People in the midwest states witnessed the event and took the darkness as a sign to go back to bed.
  • Water from the great lakes region tasted warmer than usual.  This according to a marine biologist who studies fresh water salmon behavior.
  • Several thousand UFO flew right past the viewers in all states during the eclipse but not a single report was filed as people were mesmerized by the unusual phenomenon of our sun being blocked out by a tiny moon.  This according to the Japanese satellite agency who had a geo synchronous satellite stationed over Omaha at that time.
  • Sasha Baron Cohen produced a new movie about the eclipse during the time it took the sun to cross from the west to the east.  The movie is aptly titled - 'Now What?'
  • Not to be outdone Michael Moore has announced that he too has a project that will soon wrap up and be presented to the head of NASA titled - 'So What?'

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