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In the end

Life is ephemeral.  We exist only to not.  A family member passed away recently.  It was after a few months battle with the scourge called cancer.  It was in hindsight the best outcome.

This is a matter of perspective.  There was immense suffering in the form of chemo, hospital visits and pain and disruption to bowel movement to the point where the patient had to be helped to visit the restroom.  Could things have gone swimmingly different?  Perhaps.  But the reality of level of care and medicine available in urban India to an average person is at best dismal.  With something as critical as cancer and in the case of terminal variety it is appalling.  End of life is a subject that is written about by many a smart doctor in the business including Atul Gawande.

In certain parts of India the reality is stark.  While discussing options like hospice etc. that may sound in theory to be a well thought idea, the physical infrastructure and availability of said care is another matter.  We discovered through personal experience that the whole idea of providing for a sick person is a sham and an opportunity for money making.  While certain hospitals have tied up with bureaus in India that provide in home care, a lot of the staff they send tend to be borderline illiterate or personally vulnerable.

From attendants that claimed they themselves had heart issues, to people asking for more bakshish (tips) each time above the signed rate, to those threatening to bring goons in your house to extract additional money the entire operation was a disaster.  Best option often outside your control, is to not get seriously ill.

Many of the bureau sent staffers seemed to only last a week at best too.  So the whole routine of training and explaining had to be repeated (from those who themselves were asking for help) and then monitored to ensure they followed through.

Death had the effect of suddenly ending the saga.  No need for late night help of any kind nor the constant worrying of the what if.

In death there was also relief.  To all concerned.  

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