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Was Jesus Chinese?

Today is April 1.  It is also Easter Sunday.

What better time than today to discuss what may have been.  As in where did Jesus come from?  More importantly where did Jesus go?  And then where did he come back from?  What is the meaning of the word 'Easter'?

Such vexing questions are answered in the recent archeological digs in Beijing.  Now for those uneducated about what that is - it is the capital of China a large country in Asia.  Formerly called Peking it is where today's culinary delight like Peking Duck was born.  Not the actual duck which perished long ago but the name of the dish.

Now my readings of the archeological findings suggest that Easter comes from the fact that Jesus in fact was reborn on this Sunday (there was a Wi Fi enabled clock that was found in the digs showing the day stuck on Sunday 0/0/0000)  as well as some holy DNA found near a cave in Beijing (not to mention that there are still some holes in the theory).

To the uninformed Beijing is East of Jerusalem (Jesus' first abode).  Hence the phrase Easter Sunday.  Hence credence to the fact that Jesus was by second birth basically Chinese.

There has been debate on whether he actually had gone from Jerusalem and made his way all the way to Peking in 3 days but considering they had wifi back then although spotty (part of the reason he left the cave) suggests they also had high speed transport along the former wooded route (later called the Silk Road) where he found some duck to eat. So that suggests the bunny idea is a mere marketing ploy crafted by Hershey and Nestle to dupe the modern day kids and sell all the chocolate that they made after they stole the cacao pods from Africa.

In fact some crackpot researchers have gone on to doubt and debate the Peking idea suggesting in fact he made it to Kiev which is due north of Jerusalem (blaming it on a bad compass when Jesus in fact wanted to go east- after all that is where Buddha came from and he wanted to go learn his ideas).  Kiev is capital of modern Ukraine.  He therefore it claims feasted on Chicken Kiev another folklore dish popular today.  Again no bunnies.

That said it is confirmed that the bunny and Easter associations are false and that Jesus certainly was a Mandarin speaker.

Then again this could all be an April Fool's joke?

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