Tying the knot

AKA Entering Holy Matrimony.  Marriage.  And preceding it the execution of the 'Marriage Vows'.

Whew!

How on earth are terms like knots, vows, betroth part of an arrangement that supposedly guarantees to the betrothees and those assembled to view this ridiculous affair pretending there is something permanent here?

This blog explores what a crock this whole vowing is.  

To begin let us start with the basic plot / thesis or  vowing language as shown below in exhibit A.

Exhibit A -

I, ___, take thee, ___, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith [or] pledge myself to you.

First question - what is a 'thee'?  In today's day and age when most people only speak Emoji do we think that this Dickensian language is going to get any takers?  This would constitute incoherent rambling and dangerous for the ones vowing without knowing what they are vowing.

Also what is all this holding about?  How hard or soft?  What about when either party is at a party or after the party on the throne?  Doing their important business (without any vows to accompany but sure as(s) clockwork).

Also what is this unnecessary bs language about 'this day forward'?  If you believe in time travel or some other metaphysical stuff are some members of the betrothing party or those in assemblage (for some food and wine and hitting on someone else) able to actually work on this idea the day before?  Or is it merely a guarantee on part of both betrothees that all fornication will immediately stop from this day forward?  

Does 'sickness' actually mean something catastrophic like the Covid?  What about a plane nose diving from 40,000 feet causing motion sickness?  Is the holding and other cherishing continue in these circs?  Who is auditing this as one of them shits (have you experienced 12Gs)?  

What is this 'death do us part' stuff?  Which part?  Whose part?  Part of what?

And finally who is God?   That has me in knots.

This whole affair ends with Pledge.  That is a furniture polish.  You want to know why many of these vowed marriages are failing at an alarming rate?  Just read the vows.

Many do not understand what is going on and cannot interpret most of what is being vowed.  And what is this whole notion of vowing in the first place?  Do you vow to take care of your car when you sign a lease?  Maybe you should.  I take thee for better or worse and hold you through the oil changes and washes and rotations...

People get a grip.  We got a virus to fight.