Brown Motion

Another week - another series of hilarious content that passes off as NEWS! 1. Madoff's (those crooks that wiped the slate clean for many a greedy dolt and MADE OFF) attempted suicide (failed miserably apparently - since they did not buy and follow the instructions in the SUICIDE FOR DUMMIES tome which was available on clearance (at 40% off) since they thought it was a rip off). Perhaps some other fellow bumpkins can take one on one lessons on how not to screw up during the most fantastic part of their lives at the last minute? Can we do a 61 minutes episode on this perhaps? 2. British Royals changed the rules on passing down the crown to include females. Ouch - now here we had Kate prepping with drugs to crank out a series of handsome lads and ding the taxpayers - but again all in vain. Or perhaps she realized the drug companies were doing false advertising? 3. Joblessness in America and a vapid Scott Pelly or Kelly or something is constantly wandering the nation pushin...

I like chocolates. Godiva Dark with Almonds - not sure of the naked woman on the horse to be the icon of some choice cocoa based products but tastes good. Started in Belgium but now owned by some Turks. Cadburys - Fruit and Nut Milk Bars - awesome combination of dried fruit pieces along with a medley of nuts makes your toungue dance - started by a Brit now owen by Kraft USA. Lindt Hazelnut spheres - made by a Swiss confectioner are divine balls that melt in your mouth with a lingering nutty taste Ghirardelli Milk Crisp Squares - crunchy and light these milk squares are easy on the palate but pack some serious calories - all good I say! Originally founded by an Italian who moved around till he landed in SF Bay today also owned by the Swiss Lindt empire.

The whole idea that humanity needs to call out 'Diversity' in every sales pitch whether its for a Political Position; a Venture Capitalist seeking ideas' an Employer staffing employees shows how shallow as a race we all are. We are what we are - in all shapes and colors and sexual orientations. To evaluate either of these characteristics beyond the obvious (cannot hire a weak midget to load heavy sacks on a shop floor) to hire or to recruit for a role requiring core skills is fallacy. But we do not live in a world that always makes rational decisions. Hence the screwed up state of affairs everywhere you look. Apparently Finland got some high marks in some recent survey regarding women advancement - that is encouraging but again highlights what is wrong with perspective for the most part - the need to call these things out. It is no different than schools competing to show who is better than the other so people can rush to get their kids in those high ranking ones a...

Reading 'The book of lists' by Umberto Eco triggered some thoughts on how humans have got themselves comfortable to living a fairly predictable and repetitive life. Think about it. We know our year has 365 or so 24 hour units broken in 52 weeks with the days numbered (pun intended). That we also have variety of gadgets to track this elliptical passage of earth around its sun. Depending on what part of the rock we occupy tend to have rituals and customs to engage socially and do the same thing again and again at specific time of the year. Entire industries are built on these patterns. From back to school shopping to Christmas or Diwali lights to pulling out buried rodents to check on weather forecasts - what is the point of that? Or is it like the swinging pendulum with no point holding it up - nothing? Is this orchestra playing for someone? Or is it merely an optical illusion? Are the characters on stage changing (although more are being added than removed every day...

I could have labeled this 'The Rise and Fall of Empires' but due to an almost clinical aversion towards anything emperor-centric I am going to stick to a rather mundane noun. Besides this will encompass the true spirit of my monologue. So I got to think about my pet peeve again i.e. people on this rock. They come in all shapes and sizes; more personalities than there are documented stars in the known universe; smart to not so to outright retarded; energetic to egotistic to blase and everything in between. Statisticians and economists as well as politicians more so like to document and gab about how the people under their purview or influence are doing in terms of quality of life; wealth and health; education etc. during times of competition (or war) or when they are trying to win votes of some kind. This leads to analysis and commentary on how the society in question is doing and has done and what its prospects are going in to the next measure of time. As history tells...

Muammar Ghadaffi was buried in a secret location. Osama got a burail at sea. No latitudes and longitude data available at time of burial - sorry! Such vapid headlines are all the rage in today's Facebook and News ADD obsessed world. First of all how many of the now approaching 7 Billion folks know who Ghadaffi was? Who amongst them want to know his current state (living or comatose or dead)? Of those who then want to know his whereabouts after he apparently left the land of the living. What possible reasons could the wanting to know have specifically? Leave candles? Leave unused ammo (its pointless now that the DUDE is gone) at his memorial? Could not wave iPads so perhaps wave gold plated handguns? Steal body parts and auction them on eBay? If either was true it would really amount to nothing spectacular other than affirm the spirit of democracy and capitalism. So I find the whole exercise ironic.

With the advent of email and Facebook and jillions of other device and services does e-greeting someone have the same effect as a face to face interaction? This question could be asked broadly of any type of interaction whether business or otherwise. Are greetors now hiding behind the technology curtain and pretending to offer their congratulations and commiserations or feelings of joy and despair to the greetee? What began as Hallmark innovation (writing some so called poignant quotes and verses in a sharp looking paper stock with a stock image of a lord or piece of jewelery or a nature moment) to reach people and therefore temporarily boost the share prices of the card maker, the postal service, and allied industry has now gone fully electronic. I am not sure of this ritualistic tradition myself. Perhaps I am an outlier. But when you get right down to it what is going on? This Diwali season was no different as I saw emails from people that once were in my close social cir...

What is with Round Robin? Do Robins like round things? Or are they round? Is there a roundabout way of going at this one? Perhaps I am trying to fit a square peg in a round hole? Peronsally I prefer a dodecagon. Holy cow - that is a smelly one - not sure of the holy part. What about pentecostal ministries - were their trignometrists in the original clan? or was it in reference to multi coast congregation? What happens if you hit someone rectangularly in the eye? Perhaps you could take out both eyes that way depending on your perspective.

Another rant on the business of weather forecasting. Why do we need people to show us the weather on TV? Are we getting stupider? (if you caught the grammatical error then perhaps not). Back to the fallacy of the whole idea of a weatherman or woman doing a show and tell in front of a blue screen with a clicker in one hand. 1. Most of the viewing public are not farmers and so do not really care for jetstreams and their inevitable flows and speeds that could affect that tomato plant in the backyard (that is if you were stupid enough to plant something like that instead of procuring a very cheaply available inorganic product from the local grocers' produce section). 2. Same with cloud formations (that no one really understands or cares about) but sound highly erudite. Another way to show off their pompous weather (limited) vocabulary. Whether their was an on shore or off shore breeze and that somehow affected the environment are you likely to - a. jump off a bridge? or b...

It is hilarious as an outside observer to watch Equity Market gyrations (greed and egos clashing daily) and specifically some big name brands swing from exuberant valuations to a has been entity now showing in the obit columns in a matter of hours. I am of course dwelling on the recent crash and burn stories like those of Solar Power business called FIRST SOLAR and a Video Content Streaming business called NETFLIX. I mean in the latter case the CEO was Fortune magazine cover boy and in the solar space our own president recently funded (days before its filing) a now bankrupt company in the bay area. Today Netflix is being written off by many a Wall St pundit as dead - with a capital D. First Solar in the absence of government subsidy seems to be going the same way - to hell with the sun and its source of energy - we will keep burning the burnable stuff cause its cheap. Then there is the story of a company with ROASTERS in its name. It is a New England based coffee company that...

Or any other variant of the 'afi' name tree. None of the nitwits except perhaps his own mother really knew what he was called. That said now the question on the table for all the moronic financial publications that are obsessed with ranking wealthy dudes and dudettes is - Was Khadafi the richest egotistic dude that ever lived? Some are ranking his wealth at USD 200B. Now whether that means anything is a separate debate (for profound thoughts read my discourse on value of money) but as far as we are playing the game this dead dude and many others in the uncivilized world might well be rich beyond the wildest dreams of the civilized (those that are counting the wealth supposedly). That is to say the entire planet is full of these enigmas since there is truly no such thing as a civilized world - you get Tim McVeighs and Norwegian whackos and Osamas and Hitlers all over the land (anyone check the oceans recently?) since they all spread from some of the same genetic procreator...

I recently read a curious capitalist question the worth of social media - its technology, its economic and social implications. Anecdotally he observed that the jury is out on what benefit it brings to the larger society on the planet while making some in Silicon Valley very rich in quick order. That led to a bigger question for me - is any and all human evolution from the moment Homo Erectus got erect and started walking to discovering fire to the wheel to Bill Ford's industrial revolution to the Jobs' iWorld gadgetry worth something? Alternately are organisms lower on the evolution scale better off than Homo Sapiens Sapiens? Is it worth all the green house gas; the starvation and poverty; the trillion dollar wars; the tsunami devastations; and on and on. I do not intend to sound a pessimistic note but merely put the universe in (holistic) context. I benefit from all that our modern science has to offer every living day and am happy relative to my human counterparts in...

Any country is able to control its economic destiny through a multitude of policy and regulation. Most of all if it has a productive workforce that is generally enlightened and happy this should not be a big deal. However we live in an imperfect world. Thence there is never a 'Ram Rajya' (utopian existence) in practice. What every country ideally also strives to achieve is a balance between what it spends and what it earns in order to service its own debts, maintain public services and run the government. Not as easy as it sounds. Partly a mystery that many an economist has put their minds to and proposed theses that sometimes echo in the halls of B schools - Adam Smith's Invisible Hand idea to Samuelson's Marcro Economic models et al. It should be noted that ironically Samuelson (a brilliant mind that had lasting impact on the science of Economics himself was born in Gary, Indiana which for many years ranked as the WORST place to live in the entire Unites 50 S...

Having money is something. But not just any money. Iraqi Dinars are useless as are Libyan or whatever they use there. Unless they peddle black market dollars which have a lot of value, even in Iraq. Then again if you ask the rest of the world the dollars are actually worth less than what they indicate. Reason is there is no reserve against which they are being issued - as in printed. We can run the press all night long and print more but if there is no real value to back it up then it is merely paper. Expensive paper at that. Consider the currency of any country really and it is valued using a vague algorithm established after WW II called the basket of currencies and the USD as the reserve. Used to be pegged to the value of physical gold but then dropped. To me the inherent model should really be in terms of ranking each country's capacity to produce goods and services i.e. GDP which can then determine if and what they can afford to buy from another country or set th...

He hit the ball out of the park - what if no one was there at the game? Euro bloc is showing strength - uh its a block? When rubber meets the road - it smells? Take one for the team - how many takes are there in this movie? Came through in a pinch - did not have to resort to heavier tactics? It was a question of not 'if' but 'when' - then what? By the seat of his pants - what about all those belts?

I have travelled number of times across the country's borders and found humor in the whole process (if not you could lose whatever is left of your mind after the mind numbing 12 hour flight you just came off of) Ever wonder why they call it Border Inspection? Who is inspecting whose borders? This is a fun activity that happens on a road trip. Mostly it is like going through a toll booth but with a much sinister looking person inside the booth. What about customs check? Is it a cultural dance party as soon as you land in a foreign country that explains their customs? Or better yet a local food buffet so you can understand their religious practices et al? Agricultural Inspection? Some like to call it Produce Check - I did not produce anything on the flight - honest - other than perhaps some methane from the bad plane food I ate. And no I do not have live chicken in my bag. Perhaps one (a newbie to air travel) can think of it as an opportunity to inspect the host country...

Traveling on an American rail operation whether local commuter or long distance you will notice folks that are much more prim and proper than anywhere else in the world. They always seem to be dressed better (like they were about to interview for a job right on the train) and have more makeup than you can find in a Macy's beauty salon. Those that have not yet tended to themselves continue with their face modifying activity right in front of the crowds. I like to sometimes stare at these individuals just for fun. Makes them a bit agitated. Everything from hair straightening to eyebrow and eyelash fixing devices come out - not to mention all the bizzare lip colors that get copiously applied while staring into a 3 inch round mirror. Then all the stupid lip samcking and eventual digging in to their oversize leather container that could double for aid to Ethiopia, these characters straighten up and fixate on some phone yakking. Very unlike what I was able to see elsewhere in t...

When it comes to Europe a distinction has to be made in how one views transit options compared to other countries. Here for example it is about as much efficient to travel on trains (long distance) as it is to fly. The distance between 2 points in Europe is not significant compared to what travel would be in the USA or India or Australia. We will ignore Africa and South America for now since for one I have yet to lay foot on those continents. That said Europe is easy to do on train. Most countries connect each other through a standardized high speed network that costs more or less like a plane ticket would. The crowds that travel are from all walks of society including backpackers and business men. There are of course no undocumented and unticketed passengers here. Language can be an issue in non English speaking countries as well as form of tender used to purchase tickets. US credit is not good at machines in Europe since they use CHIP based plastic to do their transactions...

I have had the pleasure and privilege to travel on variety of public transport (or 'transit' as it is referred to stateside) options on several continents. Here are my obvious and not so obvious observations of the occupants in transit - India - 1. There is predictability and cadence to the local trains that ply the Mumbai suburban network and operate at 400% of capacity most of the time - to get a sense for what 400% means - there are so many people hanging on a rush hour train that tens of them do not make it - as in get terminated before the terminus - killed in common parlance. Most working class uses this as the cheapest and fastest way to move around the metro. In a pinch even the upper echelons will jump in the first class car (or bogie as the English would have us say) and take their chances of surviving till the destination. Most that ply this form of transit are sweating like the floods on the Ganges - no chance for any Spice (Old or New) to work its magic h...

Tanning Beds Pocket Squares Neck Ties Belts Botox Organic Food in a package Pills (any number of them) Gels (any number of them) Foams (in spite of the TSA there are way too many of these) Brown Sugar (or other color variations but white will suit fine) Sea Salt (even better Rock Salt or anything that can be added in front of Salt) Fountain Pens (dry cleaning etc will follow) Multi blade razors Marriage (everyday I keep getting surprised as to what constitutes one) Divorce Lawyers (read quote above) Pets (read quote above above) Burials (probably do not need that cash anymore anyway)!

Certain words and phrases in colloquial English language have got muddled together from math or numbers - Ground Zero Hole in One T(ea) Square Ice Cube College Quad High Five AsiNine Octomom Weird Hex None of this would qualify for a modern day Nursery Rhyme like 'One Two..' but what the heck

Saw this classic again after many years. A cast of five oscar winners was not the best part. It was a great story. Although an old film it had as much excitement as a newer tech and CG made movie might. Some real life lessons to be learned here - 1. You always have a choice 2. Choose Life 3. Status quo might be good but not knowing can be worse 4. Think 5. Respect even the young - don't assume 6. There is always 1 capitalist for 1 socialist on this earth (this one is my interpretation of the dialog between the reverend and the priest). I do wish that there was one quip from Leslie before he got killed by the wave. I mean it was 'Serious'.

We now live in a world (at least here in the US of A) where anything that sells is selling for a discount. Homes - cars - trousers - even vitamins and meds. It is the perpetual world of 'America on Sale'. So the question becomes why bother pricing anything? Why not just bid out any commodity or service to the highest bidder all the time? Think about it - some dude walks into the GAP and produces a coupon for 15% off because he got an email that asked him to come in and get the 15% off. Another bloke walks in and has no coupon. Now why would you give one person a coupon and not the other? Is the other person less deserving? Since he knows he did not get it will he get pissed off and not buy? Most likely, if the commodity is something like a GAP shirt. You can go into another retailer who is allowing you to text a code to a number and get yourself a coupon and a very similar shirting experience at less price. Net - GAP lost a customer. So what is this stupidity of ...

You all learned logic that goes if a = b and b = c blah blah so, I figured it out JUST in TIME - know how - Just in Case Case in Point Point in Time therefore Just in Time. Just my Point of View no less (in time). Now I will go and make some hens jealous. It is cocktail time!

also spelled as In-laws Here are some other gems from my upstairs junkyard... Mai Tai - what one native might need after mingling with a variety of either Cash and Carry - A dude appointed by the US gov (Kashkari) to manage trillions of dollars of disbursement to the disturbed - not necessarily in that order - the dollars are gone so is he (perhaps a new episode could be titled 'Where is KashKari?') Can someone come in Dead First? or Alive Last? Never heard of it - wonder why? Perhaps someone can go out Dead First? Too complex. Physical impossibility - Case in Point.

No I am not implying anything sinister - he is still among the living. However he made a prescient song album in 1978 called 'The Gambler' that still resonates today in the economic crises and the subsequent narrative coming from the large international banks, the financial analysts and their talking heads. The lexicon used to describe today's financial morass includes terms like 'fold bad banks', 'getting rid of the weak hands', 'bailout', 'bad loans', 'over extended borrowers', 'loan crisis', 'subprime', 'balloon payments', you get the idea! So here are the lyrics of his title song - The Gambler - On a warm summer's eve On a train bound for nowhere I met up with the gambler We were both too tired to sleep So we took turns a-starin' Out the window at the darkness The boredom overtook us, and he began to speak He said, "Son, I've made my life Out of readin' people's face...

Not the biography that is on pre order after the passing of an icon (Steve Jobs) nor the perspective on a religious kind, but my personal takeaway on what if anything one can learn of this ex-CEO of Apple. 1. Pursue your passion 2. Don't be afraid to be wrong 3. Surround yourself with people smarter than you 4. Take risks like it was your last day on earth (this one is particularly hard and I do believe requires some sort of inner strength that perhaps comes from practicing Buddhism - he was Buddhist after all) 5. Keep thinking (ahead if possible)

Not the title of a theological thesis but my attempt to dissect the pop culture's addiction to multi function do-it-all gadgets. Next week the most hotly anticipated news (outside of which continent Angelina Jolie might go shopping for her next kid or the Papal visit or a Royal wedding) is the next unveiling - of the iPhone from Apple of course! While the device has come to signify a sexy departure from what any old telephone could do it is admittedly also a cult symbol - a legacy of what human ingenuity has accomplished with lot of mature engineering and marketing savvy. The world is addicted to smartphones (an acceptance of sorts that the dumb generations have gladly subscribed to) just like they were to a Radio with AM and FM and a cassette player built in just four decades ago. Akio Morita did to the audio listening experience that no man had done before with his invention of the Sony Walkman and gave people the possibility to carry their music with them. Since then the...

Some truisms from people that I have read or come across through my limited social interaction need mentioning I thought. Here is an attempt to stick them in one place before I forgot all about those too. Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts - Mark Twain A state is better governed which has few laws, and those laws strictly observed - Rene Descartes There are all kinds of people everywhere - My father Don't sweat the petty and don't pet the sweaty; One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor - George Carlin Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise - Thomas Gray Effort is the oxygen for talent - P L Deshpande It is easy to influence a herd - P L Deshpande And finally - Everything is self-evident - Rene Descartes

It was a squirrel that made its entry in our backyard the other day. It was not an event in itself given there are a few wandering around in the general area. This one wanted to stay. I noticed it over a cup of tea one afternoon as this creature sniffed the air standing on its 2 rear legs with eyes alert for any sign of movement. It had arrived through the neighbors yard and the slatted wooden fence where it found a gap wide enough to squeeze through and had decided this piece of real estate on our backyard clay terrace was the place it would settle for. Now I would not mind an occasional visitor to forage our backyard and find his pick of the dry seeds that are left after the birds have feasted on the summer cherries that grow there. This guy wanted to get going with his home construction right away. He burrowed deep into one of the sloping clay terraces where I have some society garlic growing and decided that it would do a nice apartment for the upcoming rains. He merciles...

Garbage trucks in Taipei area play music during their pick ups - from classical to kid tunes - must be a sensory experience; Singapore has the most efficient underground public transit in the form of robotically controlled trains that whisk people to and from places - less sensory more efficiency here; Hong Kong has a laser light show set to music each night, from the tall high rises along the coast best viewed from Kowloon island; Lowest point in the western hemisphere is 86 meters below sea level (Death Valley NP) which is only 84 miles or about 135 km east of the tallest peak called Mt. Whitney in the contiguous 48 United States.