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Person familiar with the matter

Many a story in the news from celebrity divorce to high ranking government official related leaks to other high profile shenanigans seems to be made public by so called 'person familiar with the matter'. What is the 'matter' exactly? And who is this person? Or is it persons? Or do we care? How familiar does one have to be to be that person? Somewhat or very? Who defines this familiarity? Is it legal? Are there guidelines of what makes someone familiar vs. non familiar? How grave does this matter have to be? Can it be solid or liquid to gas? I think mostly gas?

It just cracks me up to see this language tagged on to make it sound official or somewhat borderline legit. Turns out the news item is worth crap or the whole headline is anyway a bunch of crock. Sound familiar? I am the person very familiar with such items and hence I am reporting that it is so.

This matter deserves your attention and so please read it carefully. You are all morons being manipulated by a rigged entity or entities who believe it is their right to part you from your money and confuse you into believing and then not believing what the familiar person said days ago. You see the familiarity of this person with the subject at hand was only valid for a few hours and as things are fluid on the front it is not possible to accurately relate the exact goings on to you stupid readers.

Matter of fact next time you want to read something as simple as the weather forecast double check that the person reporting is not just familiar with the matter but is the protagonist himself.

Not that any of this really matters.

Comments

  1. RajendraDecember 6, 2011 at 5:19 AM

    As a person familiar with this blog, I must compliment you on its contents.

    ReplyDelete

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