Skip to main content

You are important to us





Followed by piano music.   Followed by 'we are experiencing heavier than usual call volume'.  Sounds macabre like bleeding during menstruation or after a ghastly attack with a weapon on a hemophiliac.  Sorry Mrs. Johnson but it appears little Gertrude here has been bleeding heavier than usual what with her night time activities competing with the woodchucks in your neighborhood.

Some services even go as far as to pick a random day to say - 'if you were to call us during the Chinese lunar month when the moon is axiomatically hugging the polar star with Jupiter intravenous when call volume is light'.  Well I will be damned.  I thought  I had checked with my astrologer before I placed this well focused call but  I guess this is what you get for listening to a quack.

Umph!

I am not sure which marketing genius came up with this personal touch concept of informing the caller that you are really a jackass for actually calling the customer service number and expecting to speak with someone about your woes.  We got one better in patronizing you and admonishing you gently to call some other time since clearly you have no concept of reading arcane calendars.

Remembering my significant others' cycles might be easier than this.  And that I can imagine is actually driven by the lunar activity much like high tide and low tide.  But what do I know..

Another worry - why are you experiencing heavier than usual call volume?  I have come to notice it is more the norm than not.  Also after hours when you do not actually have anyone to answer calls you seem to have heavier than usual calls.  I know because instead of piano music I simply get the phone company's busy beeps.

Boy are you even sure you know what you are doing?  Am I really important?  For what?  For screwing me over again and again?  So you can keep making money on poor service?  Do you actually even have a call center anymore?  I wonder.  Forget the call center.  What about a call boundary?  Is there one?  Can I get inside that boundary?  Then maybe we can meet somewhere on the radius?  And maybe instead of calling we actually meet.

Since likely you do not have anyone to speak on phones anyway.   Could we?  And by 'US' you mean you are more than one?  Can one of you meet me?  You mean its just two of you?  And you both are really busy right now trying to decide how diametrically opposite you can be to your customers.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Charges attract

It is said that opposites attract meaning people with contrary viewpoint sometimes find chemistry to be together.  But I'm referring to a modern twist where people are merely attracted towards a common place because their uber communication device aka smart phone is about to die.  The charging station. From airports to hotel lobbies or even bathrooms, when in need they are attracted to this power outlet like moths to a flame or a junkie to a needle. A whole new business of supplying these hyper connected folks is now born whose lifesaver product is a backup charge. Asian tourists perpetually carry a phone sized battery pack stuck to their latest Apple phone updating their status to folks in Hong Kong or Shanghai or Bangalore as they pose for selfies with weird facial expressions and fingers pointed out in a letter V. Vain? PS:  I dis'charged' my blogger duties making this insightful observation as my phone is about to breathe it's last and my flight gets call...
2 comments
Read more

Costa Rica

 Our first foray into Central America. That elongated isthmus that forms the geographic boundary between two vast continents of North and South America. Specifically landing for NYE 2026 in San Jose, Costa Rica. Capital city for this region that does not have its own army, instead relying on its big bro the Estados Unidos to the north is a metropolis of approx. 500K people. Largely wilderness and with both a Pacific and Carribean/Atlantic coast the country is rich in bio diversity. In Spanish it means the rich coast so named by Columbus landing in early 16th century and being mesmerized by the local tribes sporting gold jewelry.   Our stay included visiting the foothills of a large strato volcano called Arenal and enjoying the naturally heated thermal baths for a while.  Lunching amidst lush forest and watching indigenous species of avian noise makers fly overhead. Toucans, some sort of pea hens, multiple song bird species completed the spectacle. Iguanas and a lonel...
Post a Comment
Read more

Veni Vidi and Videod

Julius Ceasar is credited with a Latin phrase that reads - Veni, Vidi, Vici as in he came, he saw and he conquered. The summer vacation for the child meant we needed to do what we do as an annual event.  Go see a new place.  Italy won the draw this year. So we went for a couple weeks.  To check out the land of fairy tales, of great warriors and amazing inventions; birthplace of Christianity and its current CEO, land of Romeo and Juliet, a land in many ways similar to our home state of California. In terms of its geography and populations and their respective shapes CA resembles Italy a lot.  Both have a grand coastline, they both have multi cultural groups of people residing in its lands and mountains, both have northern edges covered by snow covered high mountain ranges that are formed of volcanic and tectonic activity over millenia. What we do not have in the Golden State is the renaissance, the art, the history.  It was a particular interest of our d...
2 comments
Read more