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Followed by piano music.   Followed by 'we are experiencing heavier than usual call volume'.  Sounds macabre like bleeding during menstruation or after a ghastly attack with a weapon on a hemophiliac.  Sorry Mrs. Johnson but it appears little Gertrude here has been bleeding heavier than usual what with her night time activities competing with the woodchucks in your neighborhood.

Some services even go as far as to pick a random day to say - 'if you were to call us during the Chinese lunar month when the moon is axiomatically hugging the polar star with Jupiter intravenous when call volume is light'.  Well I will be damned.  I thought  I had checked with my astrologer before I placed this well focused call but  I guess this is what you get for listening to a quack.

Umph!

I am not sure which marketing genius came up with this personal touch concept of informing the caller that you are really a jackass for actually calling the customer service number and expecting to speak with someone about your woes.  We got one better in patronizing you and admonishing you gently to call some other time since clearly you have no concept of reading arcane calendars.

Remembering my significant others' cycles might be easier than this.  And that I can imagine is actually driven by the lunar activity much like high tide and low tide.  But what do I know..

Another worry - why are you experiencing heavier than usual call volume?  I have come to notice it is more the norm than not.  Also after hours when you do not actually have anyone to answer calls you seem to have heavier than usual calls.  I know because instead of piano music I simply get the phone company's busy beeps.

Boy are you even sure you know what you are doing?  Am I really important?  For what?  For screwing me over again and again?  So you can keep making money on poor service?  Do you actually even have a call center anymore?  I wonder.  Forget the call center.  What about a call boundary?  Is there one?  Can I get inside that boundary?  Then maybe we can meet somewhere on the radius?  And maybe instead of calling we actually meet.

Since likely you do not have anyone to speak on phones anyway.   Could we?  And by 'US' you mean you are more than one?  Can one of you meet me?  You mean its just two of you?  And you both are really busy right now trying to decide how diametrically opposite you can be to your customers.

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