Brown Motion

Once again I was reminded of the power of coercive marketing when my 9 year old pointed to racks of the new shorts at the local retailer. It was stocking time for clothing and one item that this old fogey failed to comprehend was the new shorts. I mean they are called Short Shorts. You see you are trying to distinguish between the really short shorts vs. the long shorts that stretch somewhere till the knee / calf vs. the capris that hover between the calf and an unknown portion of the human leg. All this to cover varying degrees of the rear limbs. Yet they all have a place in the so called niche markets they sell. It is like when I first encountered the Diet, Zero Caffiene Cola. I mean at that point it was gas sold in a can..you know no nothing but fizz. People will pay premium for it. At the same time they can be confused by putting too many choices on the shelves too and some retailers choose a different tactic by taking the brand and type decision out of the consumers hand b...

Some business models that work very well in the US would be an absolute disaster in countries like India with almost every city, town or village approaching megalopolis proportions... 1. Dry cleaning (used to also be called Martinising and let us not get into that here) - I mean why would anyone in India dry clean? Once you travel on a local train in Mumbai you are lucky to come out with all your limbs intact - you are not worrying about your clothing being dry or clean anymore 2. Car wash facilities - again another vain attempt to showcase your assets here in the US where everyone is in a car so there is plenty of time to admire the other person's vehicle at the next traffic light. But in Mumbai where you run the risk of non human intervention with your vehicle that can cause all kinds of goop to attach to your asset you are not going to spend more money to keep cleaning it. 3. Jimmy Choo shoes - This contraption is a deceptively ingeneous way to allow dumb Americans to par...

Some items made news recently showing the steady march of mankind to embrace the new and create even newer ideas - 1. A chinese girl offered up her virginity for ownership of an iphone - I think she tw'i'tted this request to her fans.. a lot of girls after all have offered it up for a lot less (depending on your aptitude and how tech savvy you are) - I like this idea of reverse Dahej to be honest.. 2. The secret service gave up their secret after all - they too like prostitutes whether at work or away from work - Obama said he was angry when he heard this ... I wonder if there was an iphone involved 3. Apple sold 35 million iphones in 3 months (generally the slowest 3 months of the year) ...most of them were bought by Chinese - except the virgin who could not afford them this quarter. moving on to the non iphone and bland news ... 4. The town of Dull in Scotland became a sister city to a town on the left coast of the USA - the sister city is aptly called Boring, Orego...

I only have secondary data to go by on what the life of Marilyn Monroe might have looked like. A recent biographical movie titled 'My week with Marilyn' depicts the apparently true story of a rich kid trying to get in the movie business and crossing paths with Marilyn over a week in England. As to the kind of person, published literature makes her appear to be a dumb vamp, fairly successful in the superficial ways - after all she dated / hung out with the First Dude. I am not sure what quality of hers was exactly endearing but clearly certain famous individuals were taken by her. Movie shows her on set with Laurence Olivier and portrays her as a manipulative, drugged dimwit (quite the oxymoron) and the way guys swooned at her feet. Her real life pictures hardly define her as 'pretty' but Hollywood went pretty gaga and so did millions of paying audiences. To this day I see evidence that girls that are considered pretty (superficially) do not carry heavy bags or open...

I am not gaga about organic. If past blogs are any indication I think I will stick to what sticks .. to my gut that is. I am not entirely sure how the organic food movement got started (using 'movement' is actually comical when food is involved in the same sentence) but it surely has a lot of followers. Among the grocers that stock their shelves with this biodegradable mass (as compared to other grocers that sell all the inorganic stuff) there are some with quirky names like 'Whole Foods'. I mean what is the Whole story here? Am I for one eating partial foods? I would much rather eat a bunch of partials to make up my meal than a whole of something. Wouldn't you agree? I mean it should get pretty boring with the whole idea of getting a whole meal or else? I am not even sure that is the whole truth. I mean with prices that are substantially higher than the non Whole variety I am not sure if the whole paycheck will last to get the whole thing home. Then ther...

Consider these Oft used so called PC, yet vague decriptors when referring to individuals of a certain persuasion or affiliation and you realize how lame it sounds- 1. You and your loved ones 2. Men and women in uniform 3. People familiar with the matter 4. Highly placed sources 5. Significant other Switching gears I began wondering why certain sports or what are defined as a sport get notoriety to where people pay lot of money to see it in person or on other mediums sponsored by large advertising budgets. Consider the 100 m dash and all other dash variants and you just might see how insane this activity seems. At the end of the 9 or so seconds it's all over and yet it enthralls the minds of many. What exactly does one achieve after running very very fast or cycling till the cows come home that they become national heroes? Not to mention some are later found to be lacking in moral fiber and the same nitwits that paid their last paycheck to see these clowns are up in arms ...

Dosa in Dublin. That for the last few years was my daughter's favorite weekend outing. No we did not quite fly to the emerald isle to get ourselves a thin lentil crepe but enjoyed the preparation from an unknown chef that toiled in a suburban kitchen. The town of Dublin (pop 50,000) is situated not far from our home in the east bay near San Francisco. Here originally a small band of Irish immigrants put roots and nostalgically named it Dublin. They even celebrate an annual St. Patty's day and have a parade. But it does contain a smattering of variety entertainment in the form of foods from other lands. One such was Citrus Indian that opened up five or so years ago. Since we discovered it we have made it part of our regular visits - at least once a fortnight to get ourselves fed on delicacies from the south of India. Like most food joints in suburbia this one is non descript and once used to be a taco station. For some odd reason the demographic pull of Indians overc...

I was not a big fan of John Le Carre finding his prose deliberately slow and uninspiring. His books revolve around the inherent ambiguity of the cold war period which to me keeps getting tiring to follow. I much rather prefer the Ludlum or Fleming style borderline unreal action drama. TTSS is fairly complex perhaps in keeping with the notion that it was a pretty complex world during the cold war (and another jobs bill) and had people chasing ghosts for the most part. It takes a while to watch and understand what is going on in the movie and at the end it still keeps you trying to unravel the details. Which could be a smart marketing ploy to engage dumb people like me to buy the book and read it thereby driving more revenue to the estate of one Mr. Le Carre. The acting however is first class. Great cast and well choreographed it kept me from leaving half way. Not sure if Gary Oldman has gotten to be like his last name but have not seen a lot from this interesting actor off late ...

1. 'Financial Advisor' by definition is an ironic title - if you are so smart at advising it is assumed you know how to make more money from some money. Would you rather not invest your own money where your proverbial mouth is and make more money for yourself? Reason is they are not smart (at least in the way advertised) and therefore want to parlay risk, while charging fees to play with other people's money. What better way to make money than by risking someone else's? 2. iPad - a true symbol of keeping up with the Joneses - when you consider some of the selling propositons for the ipad you realize that everything it touted to not have (weight/price tag) is what people spend money on buying making it one of the all time best packaging scams to hit the planet. Consider the following catch lines - a. Its lightweight - not if you add the protective case and covers to prevent that errant coffee spill wipe out your investment or drop it like the clumsy I am. b. It ha...

Why should the popular media have monopoly over fearmongering? Hence I too shall contribute to the sense of paranoia out there. Off late I have seen a growing trend among the health conscious to 'walk in reverse'. Not just spinning their arms and stretching whilst walking but actually walk in the opposite direction to where their eyes are pointing. (ridiculous definition # 1 - conscious - any ditz with the subjective awareness of the aspects of cognitive processing and the content of the mind - I wonder if anything walking on the street is processing anything other than getting through the day). The trend is pronounced in the Asian community surely due to some Yin yang in central China having propounded the belief that this is good for you .. (ridic def # 2 - Asian - people hailing from China, Mongolia, India and other island nations in the South Asian latitudes - too many to name). Now its catching on - More Indians too are falling prey to this ritual. I am no health...

This one takes the cake. Tom Cruise and Anil Kapoor in the same flick. The latter has what could best be described as a cameo and does not get to interact with the Top Gun himself but his female sidekick, who is trying to disrobe in the midst of turbaned guests. From an impossible plot to scenes from Red Square and Hollywood studioed Kremlin to Dubai and its dust storms to the bustle of Mumbai albeit with Telugu scripts on doorways (man are these gultees now invading Mumbai in droves - displacing the yokels from UP?), this one is a ridiculous comedy of errors that leaves nothing to imagine. Loud explosions and car chases and crashes later we learn that the nuclear codes are once again in the hands of the lunatics with strange accents, rolling around in a tacky mockup of an Indian five star hotel. Secure servers, sewers and clouds not withstanding a person with an English accent magically cracks through the most bizzare firewalls to solve the world's problem (that of getting bl...

That is the question. What with so many people asking so many questions for which there are no right or wrong answers. Which is to say nobody really knows yet they ask and they answer. Which is to say they speculate. From radio and TV pundits to government officials to celebrities to common folk. An example of top 11 (may be 12 - I will leave that to the speculators to figure out) questions asked can vary from the mundane to the arcane... 1. Will this erection last? (I am referring to the superstructures being built rapidly across the continents..I know what you dirty minds are speculating) 2. How long before I need the next tablet? (Again I am referring to the electronic ones not the other kind..but you can speculate) 3. Is the housing crash over? 4. Will Europe disintegrate? 5. Why would someone name their child 'Newt'? Could he be president? 6. Is this good for me? In this category you shall find foods, drinks, pills, spending habits and a slew of other retard...

It is fascinating to see that the human mind can chase anything it puts its mind to and make it into a marketable commodity. So it is with an informal (until the movie came out) ritual that birders across the country follow. It is called a 'Big Year' in which the amateur to the pro gets into a whole 365 day ritual of chasing and recording all sorts of avians in a defined geography. Typically it is the continental 48 states in the union and the period is a calendar year. The movie depiction (although a flop in Hollywood terms) that I recently watched was quite entertaining with a modestly funny cast that included Steve Martin, Jack Black and Owen Wilson. Had I not seen the movie I for one would have been clueless as to this human endeavor of tracking down the flying species. As the movie goes to show the humans involved in this adventure spare no expense of course where the goal is to try to record as many of our winged cousins (distant but cousins nonetheless). The folks...

I recently watched an interesting whodunit called 'Columbus Circle'. Story is about a reclusive woman in a high end Manhattan apartment that finds out a scam crafted by her new neighbors that involves her. Of the recent news headlines in the US there have been multiple instances where such scams or affairs are coming to light and its never clear whodunit or whatdunit. Oddly multiple box builders or box sellers respectively called Hewlett Packard and Best Buy, have had their chief executives resign over alleged affairs and scams that involved using company funds to support their love lives. So also with sports personalities that dominated the coaching and playing fields across major franchises in America. Combine this with drug doping and wire tapping and other poking and prodding and ex-government types lying (under or near or over oaths) its a veritable circus. The joke is on the reading public not much different than the one pulled by the likes of Facebook where the pro...

Since everything gets compared to the 'invention of sliced bread' I thought of what a slice might say to its doughy brother. Average life of a slice from rising to being consumed is usually a week and so the conversation imagined is in a compressed timescale. As the loaf gets baked then sliced a new slice is born. Another one is right next to it. So as they get created they whisper to each other - what's with all this darkness? And suddenly there is light. The sliced loaves are exiting the tunnel and into plastic bags with a twist bound for grocer shelves near you. Slice 1 says to slice 2, 'can I get some breathing room?'. Upon which slice 2 which is inside the stack says - boy what's with the roof on our head - I need to get out of this bag and go talk to those other guys on that shelf over there. I see nuts clinging to them like ants to honey - unlike us with nothing on but the edge. Another one pipes up - 'And what's this BO? Do you have a ...

The dreaded light came on in my wife's car the other day as she drove to work. Then the car dutifully stalled. This had me thinking as we were wrapping up spring break in Orange County (where the beautiful people live) and driving the 400 miles back to San Francisco. This blog might appeal to my readership at the mid point of their life as is the case for me, while for others it might be like watching paint dry ... unless the latter is your thing it would be good to go ahead and read it anyway. I am refering to the concept of gaining perspective on your own mortality at this mid life crisis moment where you and the spouse (in most cases) have pulled the ox cart up the hill and now are catching your breath on the plateau before its all downhill ... the kid is about to wrap up school while you are on that plateau hopefully and you are going to stick around to watch him, her or they graduate (to something they think is worth graduating for). Going downhill and all is fun (in a Po...

As English language goes there are Euphemisms that make no sense. 'Let go' is one such. I mean who is letting who go? The Letter or the Lettee? Is this a balloon we speak of? Or is it a burning rag? Or an emotion for those so minded? Or is it describing a state of constipation with no action? It typically implies that the hirer is letting the hiree go. However if that was true it would mean that the hirer was somehow emotionally attached to the hiree and is making a tremendous effort to detach himself from the hiree. Reality is that the employee is in no shape to perform the duties expected of him and hence has to be eliminated from the expense bucket, or so it would appear. He is not pulling his weight according to the employer. Hence the employer kicks the employee out. Why call it let go? Its anything but. Its just go - leave - or I will call the cops type of emotion. Other moronic sounding plugs for this activity include 'Reduction in Force' which be...

Some people like to be knowledgable. Some to be rich. Some to be content while some are still looking. A lot of people also crave fame, power and above all the feeling of being important. Important to the circle of individuals that they affect or hover in, the diameter of that circle being in direct proportion to their ambition, ego or zest. Mostly it is believed that this attempt to have a goal - any goal of any kind is to satiate some glandular activity in the cerebllum which creates the feeling of happiness. So the secret sauce as many a guru, disciple or truant will tell you is to find your own path to salvation therefore of being important and ultimately happy. Now this importance phenomenon is evident in everyday life from the way we prioritize things or try to. Why are you buying that iphone now? Well its important to me so that I can do some important things with it including learning how to make Tofu infused Bok Choy as I am standing at the stove and so on. Teach kid...

I was thinking about the stories I read growing up whether in print or from my grandmother. No wired pluggable devices then that I could listen to. It was 1 on 1 - grandma lighting the lamp in front of the half elephant half man statue telling a tale. The caricatures were largely from the great epics of the yesteryear 'Bharat' now called 'The Republic of India'. The tales were as fascinating as say the Genesis or other ancient texts written by people in caves. One thing is for sure - the authors had vivid imagination. From the multi headed terrorists to the ahead of its time, genetically fused animal and human versions of supermen and women we had a virtual plethora of superheroes and gangsta duels. The most famous of these tales happen to be the Ramayana and Mahabharata. Add to that the collective episodes of Ganesh and Shankara and you had a full on suite of night time entertainment before bed time. The weaponry used in those days also seemed somewhat advance...

A fool and his money always part. Famous taglines designed by marketing experts for daily consumption by the American audience include - 1. The more you spend the more you save... 2. For a very limited time..(or this opportunity may never come again..until we say so) 3. Buy now pay later 4. Only 9.99 5. Upto 90% off - why was this thing even made? (although 'upto' can mean several things including 1% off) 6. But Wait - we will double the offer 7. Now the new(err) iPad 8. Fine print....Thursday to Friday only - between 2 and 3 pm...Good Friday excluded