Read my Bumper

Ones attached to the rear of an automobile that is. That is what a whole host of drivers on the road are saying - unless they are merely trying to hide a cosmetic imperfection on their derriere as I attest I once had (used a sticky that had the words Ouch! on it). When driving in a car crazy landscape such as Northern California you always happen on everything from Confucian wisdom to outright mystery to awareness of one's love for animals, humans, our planet et al that the driver apparently subscribes to. Its all out there for your reading pleasure as you ponder how long the metered light at this ramp is gonna take to spew your vehicle into the river of cars and semis rushing to their destination. Talk about mobile advertising bulletins these bumper stickers sometimes make you wonder as to the mental makeup of the owner. Like the oft seen 'Mystery Spot' toted largely by people of desi descent on their cars of Japanese origin. The sticker itself is a ghastly yellow with black crooked font that screams the spot.. having never visited this creation somewhere in Santa Cruz I am not entirely sure what the kicker is to proclaim your alliance with it. I suspect it gets them a discount on the price of admission if they allow their vehicle to be plastered with it - that would turn on a desi. Another is the desire to yell out how your child is a honor roll student at some elementary school in Whoville. I mean to invent this sticker and then put it on a car's rear is achieving what? Is that some qualification of the one driving as to be a considerate driver or one who will let you pass when you choose to do so? Or is it merely an ad for the school or is that an indication of your desire to stay abreast of what is going on in your child's life lest you forgot which school you need to pick him up from? There are religious nuts to left wing crackpots and extremist whack jobs each with their own flavor of the month quote out there for all to read - freedom of speech and all. Then there are those who cannot seem to get enough of cuddling their pets that they go out and have to proclaim their afflictions to four legged handicaps that need homes etc. Then there are those that really bring a guffaw out once in a while - here is a tribute to some - 1. Don't worry what people think - they don't do it often 2. The only Bush I trust is my own 3. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries 4. This is idiot proof until the next one is born 5. Grow your own dope - plant a human 6. If you are able to read this - you are too damn close!