Brown Motion

PK equates to a Hindi phrase to mean Drunk.  As in Intoxicated. It tells the tale of an alien in human like form that lands on this rock and wanders around baffled by many a thing that he (we assume it is a 'he' since there is no discussion of the sexes or even a concept of gender from where the alien hails) observes as the goings on of earthlings. Part public service announcement and part love story it is a 2.5 hour saga that I must say I watched till the end.  Such a behavior was partly influenced by my daughter's willingness to not only sit through the viewing but an admiration for the content (that of the takeaway) included therein. She gives it two thumbs up.  I could have done with a version that lasted half as long but hey at least they scored on getting a product out that for the natives in India should resonate or at least kick off a thinking process of self evaluation. The story metaphorically critiques the long standing practice among the Indian m...

There were oil painters and water color specialists.  They created some of the famous art and drawing there is. Then came blood drawings.  This topic is more apt given we are heading into the Halloween night. There are some parallels in what the current crop of silicon valley scammers are attempting to the ritualistic blood drawing done by the erstwhile Count of Transylvania. Theranos, a valley startup is in the spot light (I am not sure there is any lime involved so lime light sounds too tart) as a company that came up with a new blood draw sampling technique that would eliminate large scale tube filling prevalent today, to find your platelete counts or why the RBC and WBC were misbehaving and if your liver was about to croak. The Theranos idea was to do a pin prick on the finger and be done.  Not so fast.  Recent reviews called the start up out on their fairy tale claims and the turtle neck wearing founder and CEO was caught like a deer ...

Of all the jargon thrown at us by the broadcasting entities of all manners are certain curious items that defy everyday use - Double Whammy - I have never heard of a singular whammy or more than double whammies (is that a legal plural?).  Why is that?  If they are always double where does the first whammy find its double?  To me that is a double whammy - not knowing about the first and then the second. China to allow two children - this headline is fairly cryptic to a simple soul like myself.  Logical questions come to mind - which two children are the Chinese talking about?  Where exactly are they being allowed?  Why two?  And lastly, Why China? Women you will not believe are over 50 - what does that mean?  For starters many in our community do not know what 50 is?  Meaning they can only count to 34 in many cases, okay some can do upto 27 but that is very small %.  Many also have problems knowing if they are a woman, le...

A singularly Desi take on strategic product introduction with a snazzy brand = Brando bast (take off on bando bast that police use and not to be confused with Marlon's bust). In memorium of said effort here is a short list of what new brands might be called - New name for a strong liquor - sunshine or moonshine or any other planetary influence notwithstanding  = Responsibly (this way no one can blame you for drinking, in fact the mere suggestion of 'Drink Responsibly' will always be in your favor) New handgun that fires 15 rounds automatically when left in pant pockets (without human intervention and giving the trigger finger at Tesla and their self driving cars) and made for the American inner city  = Caress Vehicles built by Ford specifically to support Road Rage activities = Screech Xtra Wall material specifically designed to write names of fallen heroes = Rite Here Candy designed specifically for handing out during Halloween = Lock Jaw Foul odor releasing ca...

When their is too much money sloshing around in any neighborhood the signs are everywhere.  Literally. As in this one that I spotted in my neighbor's yard. Telugu classes will be taught.  Please call for timing and fees.  Some appa email was also provided for those with a cellular device who might be interested in having their offspring learn about their roots.  Telugu roots.  While their Chinese counterparts continued to amass Mandarin skills to banter while waiting in the checkout line at Costco.  People are lining up.  It is no different than the old joke about people simply lining up behind an already formed line and then asking what the line is for. Too many German sedans - the house cleaners also drive one.  Theirs are the ones where the tail light has stopped working.  It happens to the best engineered cars sometimes. Now each person is trying to outdo the other in the candy distribution and scare business for the upcoming fri...

Many a self-help guru and pundit has made millions feeding off of losers that will not improve no matter what they do to improve themselves. Most in this category are not sure of the idea of improvement or not really into the concept of changing anything.  Status quo to them is plenty good.  And frankly one should be proud of such folk - they know what they got - and don't got.  That is almost zen.  So not wanting to know more than what they got is no biggie. But then capitalism would not work like that.  It needs the gullible and less fortunate to make a living.  So here then is a list of jumbo mumbo that I have witnessed in my short life time, that people could frankly do without. Existence of BS websites like Linkedin Likes and Recommendations from other losers that want you to return the favor of liking their new frames or the slit in their dress, or their new demotion (ALERT - change in title does not merit a 'congratulations' message) Inspi...

This is not a travelogue.  Not in the true sense.  Neither is it about a geography lesson involving Japanese people.  It is about finding the upside on a fall day.  As in taking the family or rather the family taking the initiative to go wandering out to the coast and making it a day - a good day as fall makes its way in Northern CA. So this Saturday we took a train into San Francisco.  The weather did not disappoint.  Clouds parted and it soaked the coast line and surrounds with a cozy 75 F.  We started by heading west from the eastern side of town (where our Rapid Transit dropped us) on Geary Boulevard using a local transit bus called the MUNI (pronounced Myuni).   Nothing spiritual about it ('Muni' means 'sage' in India) but at least they have started using new coaches that alleviates the rider from smelling what was carried on board last night from China Town. Geary Boulevard, so named after California state's first (and youngest) mayor r...

While life, liberty and equality have been around in the press for a few decades now I always find it amusing to read stories of single moms. To me they are unmentionable but for some reason they get the headlines.  A single mother of three was selling her underwear to feed the family of five.  Well my point is that there are five people in the family including her husband who is the single husband she has ever had.  Conversely she has been the single wife in keeping with the spirit of do you take this man and not returning him during the annual village garage sale (she originally picked him up at one in someone's driveway). So the kids are fortunate to have a single mom and single dad rather than being confused by the state of affairs.  In certain states and countries it might be expressly forbidden to mention such news items because there could be a contradiction of terms. While not a lesbian arrangement there could be a situation where multiple wives are in...

The one hour dilemma beckons.  This Nov 1 the stupid legislation that was enacted due to the actions of a very smart man called Ben Franklin will take effect again.  Most of the American states will reset their clock at 2 am local time to essentially hold it for an entire hour (of actual time) and then start counting the passage of time after that hour has passed. In reality I think it simply switches back to 2 am once it hits 3 am thereby giving snoozers an extra hour to lie in bed.  The system does not work in one direction though and it snatches that extra hour back sometime in spring where the clock jumps ahead by an hour negating the youth gained in the fall season. This idiocy is practiced in many civilized nations who believe that by so doing people will have an extra hour of daylight to be productive.  Recent news suggests that some liberals have taken offense with this practice claiming that it gives burglars an extra hour to do mischief.  It als...

Unlike coming out of the closet I think it is time that people came out of the cloud.  Today in the valley and perhaps in certain elitist organizations the buzz is about getting their shit in to the cloud.  What it refers to is the act of using a shared resource so that the per capita (or per business) total cost for operating or using the product or service is lowered compared to owning said product outright. All the erstwhile large software shops started down the path of offering SaaS to their customers (not the in-law kind or the one you hold when it stinks - not the in-law but the ambient which may or may not contain a saas) which is defined as - Software as a Service.  So you don't buy multi user license for a large business rather pay for what you use like a utility and not worry about upgrades and such. That model then got copied and relabeled to peddle everything from HaaS (hardware) to IaaS (Infrastructure - large servers, networks etc. or PaaS - Platform as...

Media BS comes in many forms.  The ones providing the BS to the media, or the media interpreting a situation and creating their own or someone wanting to take to the air and blow.  Some steam that is. All can lead to an era of constant stench that only an intuitive mind can decipher.  One such is the incidence of the following statement that gets published when a personal or mass disaster strikes - Our thoughts and prayers are with "Insert Name Here" family and friends during this difficult time." Now one question comes to my simple mind which is - when someone makes this statement about a bereaved family or person how long is their thoughts and prayers allocated to the said person or persons?  What is the statute of limitation on these? Reason being  if another incident follows the one where the thoughts and prayers are allocated, can the thoughter send more thoughts to the thoughtee?  Where does he or she or they get such thoughts and prayers?...

We have had some earth shuddering moments (aka 4 pointer quakes) off late in our neighborhood and it gives me a chance to ponder some sound bites. In an era of quick fixes and one liners trying to be square can be like fitting into a round hole. Therefore my advice to all the millenials who are reading this is this - There will be an emergency in your life time. Be prepared. First step to be prepared is to know what an emergency is. Next is to know what a life time looks like. Now put two and two together or is it one and one but you get the idea - learn algebra quick.  At least no one can tell you that is two and two is five.  Except someone pretending to be a management consultant.  Or a yogi.  Avoid either one. Now getting back to being prepared for an emergency is to always have a rainy day fund.  You might have to wait a few years especially in arid areas to determine what the fund is all about.    But it is well worth it. ...

There has been a sci-fi magazine by this name for almost a 100 years in the US that provides a different type of literature than say reading 'Moby Dick' or 'Grapes of Wrath' or 'Bourne Identity'. It is a genre all its own. A modern twist to this content has recently gained a cult following in the form of social.  Through apps designed to espouse the virtue and folly of everything from restaurants to cars to vacuum cleaners and service providers there are all sorts of twits and yelps that can be heard online. People take this data and reports into account as a voice of consumer before deciding if they intend to consume the same stuff.  Mostly the answer is a resounding YES.  What else is a consumer going to do?  You see all the reporting aside one thing that separates us from the rest of the world is the fact that we CONSUME.  Get it? Rest of world's media can report on that conspicuous consumption and gawk.  No wonder they don't have time to b...

America is agog with election fever.  At least a section of society seems to be.  There are all sorts of debates among those that are vying for the top job.  That to be the POTUS.  Not a Lotus as many a yogini will encourage but a POTUS.  President of the USA. Now why someone would want to willingly subject themselves to the humiliation of being interviewed by dimwits and put into prepared arguments and debates is beyond me.  But the viewership is certainly driving sales for Shampoos, Cars, BreathMints, Mattresses and Auto, Home or Life Insurance products.  Or so the targeted marketing experts think. It seems it boils down to this - who does America trust with a bunch of nuclear weapons?  Can they leave someone called Mickey or Goofy to watch them? Do either Mickey or Goofy understand what a nuclear weapon is?  Suffice to say that most folks that today have one (or many) are unlikely to use it because it will lead to the elimination of...

Some car companies are praying that their recent shenanigans don't cause the people that buy their product to quit doing that.  Many a misfire comes to mind - General Motors - Amidst variety of cost savings strategies employed they chose to skimp on a vital organ called the Ignition Switch.  The one they put on several vehicles had the odd habit of shutting off during the course of travel resulting in collisions and the supplemental restraint not working.  Millions in damages was the outcome and loss of life to those that chose to drive one of these contraptions. Toyota - The Prius Hybrid version of the car in some recent model years had a design flaw that caused the accelerator pedal to be stuck and it led to certain souls go crashing into stationary objects as if the vehicle had a life of its own.  Again the company ended up paying settlement to the bereaved and injured. Volkswagen - Their product esp those that were diesel engine enabled...

When namo visited the valley elite a few days ago I wonder what gift exchanges took place.  I remember watching old DD news where state dignitaries visiting Indira always handed her some ridiculous sword or hand held weapon along with a basket of fruit or flowers, book of texts, garish garment, or other white elephants as a sign of cordial relations. They in turn received equal part metal scraps and heavy unwieldy objects to lug back home.  No wonder they needed a bus full of servants schlepping along. If we imagine the forward looking Modi and Tim Cook meeting one wonders if Tim presented any heart rate and interest rate monitoring watch, which was so next gen it was still in beta.  It made 99.99 % accuracy prediction of what the rates would be 'tomorrow' with a direct link to major news outlet in case of any incident.  When someone alleged that Modi was a heartless crook he could check the heart rate for the next day to see if there was any merit to such prono...

Of judgement that is.  Today University of California, Berkeley board asked for one of their senior astronomers (astronomy professor) to resign due to allegations of sexual misconduct.  Apparently he groped for objects just outside his reach and tried his luck at peering where he should not have.  Perhaps it was a case of being smitten by his star power.  We will never learn the truth but suffice to say that 'the hand in the cookie jar' has yet again surfaced in a campus of higher learning. Perhaps some people in spite of literally achieving success in higher learning do not seem  to grasp more earthly ideas like - thou shalt not rape. Several other scandals like this came to the media's attention and it shone a light on hormones getting in the way of good business sense.  Stanford too had some turmoil amidst its business school leadership getting cozy betwixt faculty - a violation of code of ethics or some mumbo. I think if its guns, football or s...

A person from a village in southern India was introduced to an Arkansas area Walmart as a sociological experiment.  This subject we shall call Muthukodi, had never seen a formal store of any kind let alone a Walmart as he whiled away his adolescent years running after butterflies and goats in the village pasture. Hidden cameras at the Walmart tracked his every move and the researchers at the Harvard School of Medicine were disturbed to know that their subject once introduced at the entrance had not returned back for over three months. As the taped events reveal Muthukodi on entering was taken aback by the bright lights and the bustle of humanity with what appeared to be large metallic wheeled contraptions wandering all over and at first went into a catatonic state that lasted a day.  He was slumped right by the greeter in blue vest, about a yard away from the massive steel carts that clanged away into the cavernous space to satiate the needs and urges of those...

Ideally it should be campi but no one wants to give Latin any more latitude so long as they can add an 's' at the end.  Hence campuses.  And I mean shooting with a camera. So this weekend with a friend visiting; we originally got introduced at our old campus (that of the University of Pune, India) I took the role of playing tour guide and drove around the Silicon Valley to show him how the dirt here had indeed changed lives of people - from expansive and excessive to the perpetually crowded life that was the traffic around town. Here are a few spots on the tour - recognize any? modern day coliseum -Levis Stadium - home of the SF 49ers football, Santa Clara CA Can you search where this is? Sun set on the old Sun Micro campus in Menlo Park, CA And this is the Face that has risen (as part of the planetary realignment) Among our other pit stops we indulged in some locally made North Indian cuisine at our family's favorite hole in the wall; a stop to g...

Of America's gifts to the world is -as George Carlin once put it - packaging bullshit. In the world of mass education one such stunt is use of too may words to make it sound more important than it is.  As far as 'higher' education goes - outside of theosophy- the university system uses phrases like 'liberal arts' colleges or liberal art degrees. Now having never encountered a fella that earned a 'conservative art' degree I'm left to ponder the possibilities myself.  The British Indian colleges offered degrees in Commerce or Science or Arts. No extra words to confuse and obfuscate. So what might conservative art look like?  All sexual depictions and expressions were already covered or is it uncovered by the mid century greats and the pre calendar Greeks.  Today the liberal art schools are offering degrees in communications or sociology or some thing that tall, good looking people can use to get into executive roles with. So perhaps we need to f...

It's expensive to live in the bay area.  People take up mutiple jobs to make some ends meet.  Everyone has different ends and there is something about making them meet that is top of  mind for those not close to the end. Some baggers at a local grocery store will often go and beg after they are done bagging.  Sometimes they find it easy to just beg right outside the store they were bagging.  They even find it convenient to get a few bags from the store to go begging. A recent problem highlights their plight.  They were used to asking for change usually at the pretext of buying their bus fare home but realized that Silicon Valley frowns on jingling coins in the pocket.  Honestly who wants a hole in their pocket? One beggar (asking for change) got a pair of fresh underwear once and that did not go well with those in the begging community.  They took to social media and whined and demanded - change. So one of the out of work coder and recent...

In headline news it was observed that American's had stopped driving for an entire minute and a half at all traffic lights in the country. This phenomenon was attributed to the widespread use of cell phones that allow people to text each other and research symptoms of Goiter and Mumps as well as watch exciting YouTube videos of squirrels mating all while in their vehicle attempting to transport themselves somewhere. It was brought to the media's attention that all of a sudden there was complete silence that lasted so long that birds fell out of the sky.  They were likely distracted by this sudden change that took their auditory system by surprise. People it was reported were all focused on their device and no one realized the light had turned green.  So no one left their spot until one driver in Purdue, IN literally got hit with one of the avian items falling in his lap (he had his convertible roof open) that startled him out of his research on erectile malfunction rela...

It is a question of exercise.  As in Janet's exercise.  AKA Yellen - the 69 year old, Chairwoman of the US Federal Reserve System or FED.   More specifically it is a question of Janet exercising her right to hike the short term interest rate that the FED charges its member banks. Today it is at Zero. Janet is in a quandary.  On the one hand American banks are also offering Zero interest for monies held in savings accounts because they in turn are not making money lending your cash to anyone. This affects the income retired savers depend on.  They need the cash and the risk free returns to burn on their Lipitor, Fixodent and the occasional indulgence in a Jim Beam or Jack.  No interest savings ain't going to help.  They may lose interest in savings.  That would be bad.  But rising rates will cause other things to likely go out of whack she worries.  On the one hand it will make the US currency stronger against basket of global curr...

Why is it so addictive? Why are you reading this? How is it that seemingly infantile comments make it on the blog and people still find it amusing or amazing to peruse them? Why when there are other things these days to distract the readership are they flocking to this page? What exactly is flocking? Where has Suresh Oberoi gone? For that matter where is Maury Povich these days? Did the chicken ever cross the road? Finally did the Pope meet Narendra Modi?  If not now when? Are you still reading this?

As another mass murder headline gets the media going and people take to the airwaves (or is it cyberwaves) about what should or should not be done, I thought it would be a good idea to document the list of woes that beget a First World economy. Mass Murder - this is a common occurrence in one of the richest countries on the planet aka USA, where I think they should devote the first 15 minutes to the Mass Murder Incidents of the day, followed by Traffic, Sports and Weather.  As an aside there is equal chance of severe fatalities in all of these sections making for a juicy news hour. Stuck in Traffic - That brings us to the next chapter in the news hour - people with transportation appliances that resemble a small house anywhere else in the world, sitting venting in controlled air capsules, bored out of their mind and taking to the cyberwaves from latest electronic gadgets that seem to be out of fashion before they bought them. Man cannot catch a break. Sports - modern da...