First World Problems

As another mass murder headline gets the media going and people take to the airwaves (or is it cyberwaves) about what should or should not be done, I thought it would be a good idea to document the list of woes that beget a First World economy.

1. Mass Murder - this is a common occurrence in one of the richest countries on the planet aka USA, where I think they should devote the first 15 minutes to the Mass Murder Incidents of the day, followed by Traffic, Sports and Weather.  As an aside there is equal chance of severe fatalities in all of these sections making for a juicy news hour.
2. Stuck in Traffic - That brings us to the next chapter in the news hour - people with transportation appliances that resemble a small house anywhere else in the world, sitting venting in controlled air capsules, bored out of their mind and taking to the cyberwaves from latest electronic gadgets that seem to be out of fashion before they bought them. Man cannot catch a break.
3. Sports - modern day gladiator sports like American football and ice hockey continue to enthrall all those that survived being shot and managed to reach their venue beating through that traffic.  Arena gives them an opportunity to take in another form of near death experience (either on the field or off).  Hyper excited 'all day energy' consuming commentators along with equally 'Colored bull' consuming crowds packing the seats enjoy this short lived excitement only to find themselves bemoaning the hangover that inevitably follows (mental and wallet).  Some in a moment of anguish of losing (their bet or just losing their composure) beat up the other color shirts, once done with the paid for frivolities.  Some of this also makes it to the 'First 15 minutes of the News Hour' when it is a slow day and some chemically imbalanced fella did not find a WMD to make the headlines.
4. When all else fails there is Weather - we can watch it 24 hours now as a matter of fact what with being laid out on a couch with all the beating we took during the sports arena pow wow; and not to mention that hangover left us unable to process anything of substance (orally or mentally) or be out and about for at least the weekend.  Best to watch some sap get killed by Hurricane Edwina that slams the coast or being roasted as some wild fire consumes a town of 13 and two people decide to fight it out.