Ever wonder what happened to my 8,932 miles on Podunk Airlines? Or those 5,331 rewards points on that ridiculous hotel chain that I thought I was going to be loyal to? I will tell you exactly what did happen.
It got converted into smelly papers. Smelly what?
Here is the scoop - Americans love to carry cards in their wallet. These cards belong to variety of clubs and super markets and airlines and hotels. Every aspect of daily life has a fan following or so it would seem and then as more and more businesses try to grapple with the same set of people they keep offering all of these people some ridiculous reward after another.
I am of course referring to the ubiquitous rewards for everything culture that has come to pervade modern society (esp in the US).
As people consume copious amounts of that new non fat yogurt or extra creamy gelato or fill their feet into that newest sneaker sensation they earn those extra bonus points. These collect in various impossible to remember buckets like lost bank accounts. If you think about it they do have intrinsic value in that they are currency for specific purpose. You cannot buy dinner with those sneaker points but you can get laces next time you stop in that store. Now its another matter entirely that no one in their right mind buys laces anymore - they just get new shoes...much like the ball point pen refills that are meant for the museums as no one actually refills their pens anymore.
So there is this exchange or points broker business that takes all these little wayward points that people seem to collect every time they sneeze or walk past a mall or a fast food place trying to woo your wallet to come and see the peep show.
They process them for a fee paid by the provider of the points and in turn them into even more devalued and meaningless pieces of rewards that are good for only one thing - retarded magazines and periodicals that are trying to peddle more of those same fast foods, airlines, perfumes and sneakers. Ah ha - you burn so you can burn some more - money that is.
So it is that I turned in my collection of these gillion little points and subscribed to a whole host of face and body altering; car tire changing solution providing or eyebrow toning magazines. Filled with awards and articles around beauty (for you and your car) these magazines did provide one little nugget that was quite useful.
Each came with copious amounts of sample perfumes attached to a little strip of foldout papers with some unusually made up face from the silverscreen touting the ageless fragrant nature of the product. I ripped them all out and put them in all of my clothing - pockets, drawers even stuck it on hangers. Now the entire wardrobe smells - how do I say it - divine!
I like chocolates. Godiva Dark with Almonds - not sure of the naked woman on the horse to be the icon of some choice cocoa based products but tastes good. Started in Belgium but now owned by some Turks. Cadburys - Fruit and Nut Milk Bars - awesome combination of dried fruit pieces along with a medley of nuts makes your toungue dance - started by a Brit now owen by Kraft USA. Lindt Hazelnut spheres - made by a Swiss confectioner are divine balls that melt in your mouth with a lingering nutty taste Ghirardelli Milk Crisp Squares - crunchy and light these milk squares are easy on the palate but pack some serious calories - all good I say! Originally founded by an Italian who moved around till he landed in SF Bay today also owned by the Swiss Lindt empire.
You can't complain now that all marketing is useless- the perfume story proves it. Now if only someone can reward you and your home for smelling good....
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