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Witticisms

Or a sound bite or a quotable quote to steal one from Readers Digest.

There are several that one comes across during their time on earth and I think the best ones for me have been the ones that poke fun at our own shortcomings (or longgoings for that matter).

So here are some that can be attributed to anyone from Voltaire to Twain to Rooney to Carlin to Rock and that I can remember -

  • Religion was born when the first scoundrel met the first fool
  • A second marriage is a triumph of hope over experience
  • Rugs made in Iran are called "Persian" because they sell better than rugs called "Iranian".
  • My friends think I am cheap; I am just careful with money
  • In this country you are guilty until proven wealthy
  • Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that
  • Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?
  • I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
  • Why do we need self help books?  If we need a book - its Help
  • “No comment” is a comment
  • I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot
  • I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
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