Banning of the straws

In English there is a wonderful expression - Clutching at Straws.

This phrase is used to describe a situation when the clutchee is at the end of their rope (another curious expression where no rope is actually involved) in terms of their options. 

This is the case with the tree hugging crowd.  These self absorbed clowns try to find some item to draw attention to themselves so that they could be in the spotlight outside of the usual suspects getting all the air time.

One might be familiar with my similar expose (pronounced Ex-Po-Zay) a few years ago when I ranted about the banning of plastic carry bags at my local grocer.  Apparently the Oregon Salmon was choking on it and I proved mathematically that it was fake news.

This time the wrath of the anti plastic lobby is toward the last tube standing aka the plastic straws used by fast food establishments to let their consumers slurp their oversized sugary drinks.  C'mon really?

I say if someone wants to suck in their poison why are we interfering?  What better apparatus than a plastic cylinder to let them imbibe with the least bit of threat to spilling their otherwise sticky beverage?

Is this all we got left in the thinking department?  Hollywood - do you like the title?  Perhaps a movie is in the offing?  M. Night Shyamalan could take this idea and prepare a blockbuster Daytime Soap Opera where people move their lips silently and make sucking sounds due to the muscle memory of having straws stuck to their face for decades before the ban went into effect.