Brown Motion

There is something to celebrate in Mumbai, India as of yesterday. A multinational has just opened a clean toilet in the heart of downtown. For a few hundred rupees you can avail of the facilities, provided there is not much of a queue to begin with and your business cannot wait. There are some implied guarantees where the facility will be functioning for you to conduct your business and perhaps loiter a while but it is encouraged that you do not do the latter - at least in the confines of the toilet. There is a queue after all. As an aside loitering can be done outside the WC where there will be a cup of coffee that you can partake or not, for those few hundred rupees you shelled out earlier. The location is the new Starbucks aka house of Schultz in collaboration with the esteemed house of Tatas. Pricing should be focused on toilet use rather than the size of the cup. Small would translate to 10 min, 20 for the med and 30 for the large (Venti). I think the best order for the b...

Most of the world is obsessed with some sort of balls. Many times its personal. Not being much of a fan of any activity involving a single ball (even Highballs I do not stop at just one - you dirty minds) I did indulge myself by watching some baseball this weekend. You see the local bay area team is in the World Series (another misnomer for what constitutes Americans playing in America, although I am told they have bought and sold foreign born players). Amazing to see the players get rock star treatment for use of their ball and socket, which is to say they make millions playing ball. And get paraded on the street if they pick up the World Series Trophy. Now that is one way to make your millions. Or you can play ball a different way - figuratively and be the executive of a major corporation in America or some other country. In America you at least are morally and legally obliged to disclose that you made millions. Whether you pay tax on that is another matter entirely. Here y...

We in the United States have many dilemmas. Some are around gas (as in gasoline for most part) and some around tax (the one that the government can levy) but off late we have seen a deadly combination of both in the form of gas tax. They come in two varieties. One is imposed on the gas that is used to pump your car and the other is on the gas that you use to pump yourself. While we (in most states) pump our own gas it is not that activity that is drawing scrutiny. Rather the tax on soda or carbonated beverages that is item du jour. Hence the tax on gas. It is therefore obvious to believe that we have two forms of gas tanks and both are being taxed. One for being too obese and the other for polluting the other gas that we like to breathe. Breathable gas is free and not taxable by law partly because they have not figured out how to do it. Some folks with more money than they can count use it to buy oxygen bottles so they can claim they spent on something most of us did not - b...

You want to hire me? You need what? Of course my Viralstatistics. I mean Vitalstatistix.. ahem too much Obelix - you meant Curriculum Vitae? First of all I do not know Latin - I am not sure if it is something that one should know about - no one speaks it for starters and Apple does not even offer it as a Language Option on any of its devices. Except for some doofuses who want to prove that they went to school and use an occasional word, I am not sure why we bother. But that is veering too far from the purpose of this blog which is to clean up my image for those that will behold it in the future. I say clean because some might say its tarnished..well partly because the paper they give me in Sing Sing is not the best and this 2B pencil keeps breaking. 'Bobby the Snob' was also found cleaning his orifices with the point y'day. Pardon the smudge on my CV. Why I am in and not out is because this one acquisition we did was based on my hot dudette spilling the beans over...

These days it would seem leaking is good for business. Not the roof or someone in the corner office with a malfunctioning diaper. But more the kind that makes the news. A story. Free publicity type of leaks. More and more companies now rely on leaks rather than formal product or leadership change or financial disaster announcements. These leaks it would seem are designed to produce results and therefore intentional. Perhaps management schools need to add it their curriculum as a core requirement / credit. Science of Leak Management or call it Leakologics. Without them we would not have known what Apples were cooking on the tree or how Yahoo was going to turn its ship around. Rajat would still be scott free and Wiki would be less popular (more on what Scott has to do with people's freedom in some other mentally challenging blog). From the days of Julius to the ancient Indian battles to Egypt and other prominent reigns I suspect leaks drove things to a large extent. Its...

Might be a good name for a butler..but I have to give that some thought - whether I will need butling. More importanty I observed a not so knotty phenomenon that perhaps the readership did too. While people in ties abound the universe these days - what from the newscasters and weathermen to all consultants and politicos and the local bank teller wearing one, there is also a renewed resurgence of Jeans. Every major tech company CEO now favors Jeans over the suit and tie. Major product launches and testimonials are shared with and by the chief-in-jeans. Jobs to Cook to Ballmer to Bookface to Bezos to Brin - everyone has one besides their grin. What I am waiting to hear is Marissa Mayer (who herself not in jeans) announcing a free 'Jeans of your choice' employee benefit to all Yahoos after recently bestowing them with an Apple smartphone earlier this year. Perhaps this Christmas? I say this is good news for slobs like me - while I have not launched anything remotely (or i...

OOO messages can be written with a certain flair and show the creative side of the outstanding (As in out) candidates. Most are boring with recommendation to contact other less unfortunate sods to deal with the mess the Outbound person left behind. But what if this person was Rajat Gupta? Or Bernie or Rajaratnam? Or someone in their advanced age that is checking out for a while? How would those messages look like? This grave question boggles my mind as I read of the shenanigans of the unfortunate top 1% that inhabit the Wall and surrounding floors. There is just no ceiling to what a man can do you see. So here is a creative outburst that someone who gets thrown in the slammer might want to pilfer - they are sometimes good at that. Hi All - You know the damndest thing happened yesterday. I was not ready for it by any means. I have to be Out of the Office for the next couple of years. That's right - TWO years give or take. Lots of you gave and I took but that is beside t...

There are enough jokes about why size still matters. As a Matter of Fact the whole idea of sizing things has been sized up you would think. You think wrong. We as a species keep oscillating between what we want. First their was Mad Max. Had a cult following. So much so that they had to dish out I think three versions of it till they maxed out or went mad. Hollywoodies can do that. Then there was Max Factor - in some countries anyway - it was a talcum powder. What it was aimed at was a Max Heat climate where the Min was the Max you get in some countries. Hence the talc was a huge factor in addressing the Max. Then came BigMacs. Big and Macs (by any other spelling) together. That showed our appetite for all things Max for Minimum cash. That became the mantra for many a brand - from Walmart to Kmart to Taco Bell to Dollar Stores where you got Max for a Min. Then came the iPad for Maximum enjoyment but with a Maximum price tag. But our tastes had changed. We were ready to ...

Honda has designed their FIT to fit the women. So it seems if you believe everything you read. Women need to appear Fit all the time what with so much going ON to make them look UNFIT these days. Honda has decided to tailor their peitite car for this demographic. Never mind the FITS they have outside the car. I certainly would not want to be in their shoes. They will not fit for one (the car I mean) and besides who knows how they smell (the shoes I mean). Perhaps the FIT will help with their Work Life Balance as that too has become a cliche that gives me Fits. I wonder if the FIT then comes with oversized Vanity mirrors and a few of them (in case one gets cracked during that minor fender bender)? Plus extra storage to put 50 shades of grey (lipsticks and mascara I mean). Perhaps the entire front windshield is a mirror with driving optional. The windshield wiper fluid tank will be designed to hold Vitamin water or other electrolytes. In a pinch a special tubing will allow t...

Now that title itself is a Yossarian oxymoron. If you are an idiot a guide is not going to help. Idiocy is innate. Be that as it may, millions of these books claiming to help people from running a computer to putting up a dry wall are purchased every year. Perhaps by the idiots being they are ignorant of what they might find in it. If they really knew what they were looking for they would not be idiots and hence would not need the book. So there. On the subject of being an idiot they come in all colors, races, from varying geographies (hey CIA you should compile a compendium of most idiotic denizens per sq mile by country in your next ranking of terror prone cities) and exhibit their symptoms in daily life. Here then are a few possible reactions you might see on the road - lets take a metropolis in California for example. If you clock an hour's worth of traffic you will see 30% Caucasian Americans, 30% Chinese (Americans) and 30% Indian (Americans - the newly minted not th...

Here we go again. Lawsuit by a parent of a 14 year old that apparently was killed by consuming too much caffiene. While its sad that the kid died, now the parent sues caffiene provider. This happens to be a drink in a can called Monster. Now first of all if the product is labeled Monster do you actually need additional warnings on the can? Monster keeps advertising and kids keep buying. Although this is not the first example of Bull being sold in a can. Sometimes even if they call it Red it can be shit. If its on TV people amazingly will buy! On a separate note plastic bags used for packaging will continue to provide adequate warnings for those that can read. We have to warn consumers to not eat the plastic bag that the toys came in. You are called consumers but do not consume our plastic. As yet no one has successfully ingested and passed copious quantities of plastic bags. That if possible would give a whole new meaning to recyclable bags. We are not there yet. Please ...

Since thinking is a rare commodity these days I thought I would go ahead and list things that are anyway not what people might think they are - 1. Bargain - is not a bet you win at a bar 2. Chagrin - is not a type of grin 3. Comatose is not a vegetable although it has a lot of similarities 4. Bombay was not explosive although its debatable today (name change notwithstanding) 5. Notwithstanding has nothing to do with standing (nor sitting) 6. Sleeves rolled up is not an actual job (although makes an appearance in the job requisition) 7. Octomom is not a female octopus and finally .. 8. Kim Kardashian turned 32 - actually the earth went and did 32 turns round the sun while Kim partied

It is easy to imagine whatever shape your heart desires or your eyes see (esp with spiritual guidance) amidst the vapor or the cumulus in the sky aka clouds. Not that there is anything wrong with that but I really want to discuss the perils of not being tech savvy in a generation where many of your online activities too are based in the cloud. The virtual one. It happened to a teacher in a classroom where her students apparently recently discovered what her mammaries look like. Cause of said 'R' rated material being available on the school iPad was the fact that she had them on her own idevice and had synced it to the cloud (the icloud) where the school iPad ended up getting synced. Ergo private anatomy was now publicly visible. Lesson here to all those untrained teens and middle or advanced aged demographics - careful what you say and how you say; what you view and what you do; because you are now on Candid Camera all the time. So whether you decide to Yelp out on th...

Now follow me carefully here. I will explain the Causality between the casualty of the faculty. I am expanding on a recent troublesome experience of visiting an Indian food serving establishment in Northern California. Specifically in a suburb of San Francisco. And while I shall not name names, suffice to say that 90% of the Indian food serving establishments ought to be unsettled. Esp if they lead to an unsettled abdomen. Before the abdomen became a casualty we roll the clock back a few hours. Friday night the family wants a casual eat out experience and not wanting to tax the noggin settles for a local Indian food making operation run by an Andhra expat. Most of them are. The mood was one of a bustling place but depicted many candidates visiting the facilities that greet you as soon as you step in and a cacophony from children that appear to have recently lost their parent (their shreiking was unusually loud). Now typically that should be a warning but we forged ahead and fo...

In old India circa 1980s we had to actually interact with a species known as a binder. Why you ask? Well for one we could not afford a new college textbook. By we I mean a certain set of the demographic that was assiduously trying to align with an Engineering Degree with a preconceived notion that this would set them up in orbit. Back to the binder. This gent in a decrepit part of town essentially xeroxed pages (aka photocopies of the real deal - whether Material Science tomes or the Bhagvad Gita - not that there were any takers for the latter in our demog) and slapped them in a cloth strip with a glue (that would make the OSHA keel over) to provide the output to us for a fraction of the original tome. In his case it also helped give him the needed high to keep slapping irrelevant drivel in the binding. This warm off the machines glue bound book (hence binder) was supposed to double as a pillow in a pinch but in more sober times serve to educate the green behind the ear fraterni...

Let us discuss the state of the bands. Not the ones that hit the stage and make noise or music respectively defined by your otitic makeup. Rather those that are available in myriad hues and sizes and shapes and are designed to advertise your allegiance to a non profit, collective euphoria over capitalism or are just plain non sensical latex extrusions that had to find a place other than the local garbage dump. Of course I refer to the mass hysetria over wearing colored affiliation defining bands around your wrists. There seems to be a craze going on in America (not sure I have seen it around the world yet, although there are metallic and other fabric based incarnations galore on the Indian subcontinent wandering wrists - materials for another blog) that leads otherwise sensible minded folk to don or adorn themselves with these plug ugly rubber bands. Silly bands brought the craze to an all time capitalistic high where people ranging from new borns to those of advanced age found th...

IS there anyone in class? Are you paying attention? I am talking about the fixation with classification of the classes. Whether in a teastall in Dehradun or a pecan farm in Decatur, the 'middle class' is now the hot topic du jour. Lets call this obsession by a new moniker - Classifixation. Take that Merriam. Or Webster or Oxford or whoever is keeping count. I am in the meantime completely nonplussed by the turn of events in where the use of the word 'class' has gone beyond the classrooms into the mainstream and into the deep waters, as in Akula Class vs. Typhoon class (types of submarines to the untrained yokels). Add to that the working class now can be seen boarding First Class and Coach Class is full of the immigrant class which makes for a quagmire in the flying class. No one knows which color is their carpet so to speak (as in the dirty scrap of cloth lying in front of boarding gates in all manners of hues and shades). It used to require a first class in ...

Whether the election fever has abated can be debated. What with the second of third presidential debates just concluding amidst a gaggle of shortlisted countrymen and women asking away prescreened questions to the incumbent and the wannabe. What have we learned from this recent spectacle? That all television channels dedicate 90 minutes of their air time to top two contenders for the top job and pass on an opportunity to earn monies from Mcdonalds, Honda, Mattress Discounters and Franklin Templeton Funds? How many rational people actually get up and drop everything that they would have done like pick up groceries and fill gasoline in their guzzlers and instead watch the broadcast about someone that can forecast the future of the entire broadcasting business with its burgers and pillows and tires and its likelihood of success? What does this get us? Frankly it looks like two errant school kids called to the principal's office to confess their sins. Nothing wrong in calling th...

If you think of how many things can happen to the mind using the English language as a tool, if you don't mind think this - It can be boggled, as in mindboggling; It can be blown, as in mindblowing; It can be lessened, or can be lessnessed, as in mindless (act of writing this) or mindlessness (as in without purpose as this blog); It can be altered, as in through use of certain prohibited or non prohibited substance use in mindnumbing proportions; It can be used to 'mind the gap' (between available faculty and reality); It can be used to 'mind the language' itself (this very language that can twist something beyond recognition); Ultimately coercing you to ask not what you can do to rid yourself of this mindless nonsense but how you can make matters better if you think of it as matter over mind? Does it matter? Do you mind?

Silicon Valley is known for this cliche every time you turn and look at what made so and so successful. I have a confession to make. There are more stupid people on the planet than smart people, present company included. To accomplish said surroundings you have to know what constitutes surroundable smartness. This is no easy task esp if majority of the surroundings include the sound of dumbness. It is like trying to break out of the earth's gravitational pull to find a true vacuum. Or perhaps that is mixing the metaphors, but hey I did not say I was smart. No one seems to acknowledge (mostly) that it was dumb luck that got someone to where they were starting with their birth. Accidents happen and sometimes they are great. No downplaying the use of elbow grease (another condiment available in the USofA) or perseverance. Yet, another category of surroundings that can help one's chance at success is the influential variety. So there is something genetic about a person...

Sounds like a magical Chia pet. Its not. Its a crime - at least that is what lawmakers will have you believe. I think to say that we humans are a confused hypocritical bunch would be below an understatement in a Wodehousy way. We know not what we want yet would stand and argue about pros and cons of one over another. Frankly my best thinking comes on the Pot without recourse to the use of Pot. If that is not confusing I know not what is. Pot to some provides the ultimate escape when pain takes on surreal dimensions not felt by mortals that have no way to experience it. Cancer patients and certain individuals that are caught in the wicked grasp can relate. Growing the weed (it is what it is) though is frowned on. More than frown is punishable by law. Funds are actually allocated to track said farmers small and big and much is made of the news when it breaks. To say that there is an underground market for all things illegit is stating the obvious and obtaining an above ground...

Humanity surprises us yet again. This past week we saw a few things to awe us. Both awesome and awful. Inspiration and desparation. Lets start with the fantastic sight of the 'Endeavour' space shuttle rolling along the streets of Los Angeles to reach a Science Museum so the generations coming along can gape at what the human endeavor achieved. Visiting space is perhaps our desire for curiosity and to solve the mysteries of our existence. Lot of funding sure is dedicated to this endeavor. Perhaps we will be better for it in the very long run. On the flip side of this spectrum is a drastic and heinous act where a teenage girl in Pakistan was shot in the brain so that it would cease and desist its march against tyranny. The propogator of the crime are fanatics whose brain function may have already stopped. Why such cruelty exists and manifests in reality but does not getting enough funding to study? Time will indeed document our passage for the viewing pleasure of an as...

The ever changing world of fashion aka human vanity has hit a new high or low depending on the observers point of view. The common man's; make that rural Indian bumpkin's garb of choice the Lungi, has become a fashion statement if you were to believe the editors of the Wall Street Journal. The Lungi is essentially a cotton cloth wrapped around a farming gent's waist and privates with ample opportunity to allow for air circulation amidst the humid Indian rice paddy muck and the former. It is quintessential to letting the back breaking work seem that much lighter. Now why a wall street type might want to frock himself in it is beyond me, but if one were to guess it must be all that 'hot behind the collar' stuff what with their investments going in the muck. A sombre mood on wall street is perhaps missing the bagpipe esp if the lungis happen to be printed with a quilt like checker pattern on them to appear more appetizing. Coming to a Macy's near you - Loonge...

Could be a nice title for a new Anglo Chinese comedy show or something but it is not. I got to thinking about two opposite concepts or facts as it were in life, or something I recently saw or read - 1. Vice Presidential debate - my daughter had to write a summary on this and so I watched with her. It was a hilarious (Ryan looked like Al Neuman and the other a wax statue that a ventroloquist might use) and faked out attempt at trying to win the American public with hollow sounding conviction about how to fix the economy and save your ass. First of all why the people want their elected officials to save theirs is beyond me. Get your own ideas and deal with it. Compare this school boy fight with a session of Jeopardy and you get a dramatically different outcome. The latter is more spirited and requires a quick buzzer reaction from the participant. Now that is fun and more educational to the average American than moronic statistics and points of view about Iran (thank the wiki its ...

Not the title of a new action movie but the new opportunity for the Indian desert farmer. Worldwide gas exploration is now relying on a technique involving use of high pressure fluids to crack the rock strata and extract valuable natural gas. This fluid is pushed in to the cracks using an agent called Guar Gum. The source of this Guar - Rajasthan, India. So now the Ganwar Gharwalas of the Kings State (or Raja's sthan) can count their Guar blessings as they sow and reap this unassuming bean. They can truly say 'Bean There Done That' and mean it, when it comes to the latest energy exploration techniques. While the south of the border Maharshtrians will just have to go without having the Gavar (aka Guar) on their dinner plate (less profitable) instead relying on the cheaper gas (as a result of fracking) to heat up another competitive bean.

Take an economy - any economy - not the one you fly on but the state of a country. Their buying and selling - their humming and hawing (how exactly does one haw?) - their extravagance and their austerities. If Economy was a sluggish person it could look up to Lance Armstrong as a role model - how to dope and get ahead - be number one. Who better to teach that than someone who knows the ins and outs so to speak? Bernanke could then take a back seat and go back to writing obscure papers that his students could read. If the Fiscal Cliff was a male it could look up to Kim Kardashian as a role model. Take one long look at her and boing - you are at the top of the mount. No more looking down in to the chasm. The President could then go back to identifying what a real wealthy person looks like so that he can tax the heck out of them. If Swing Vote was a real person then he could look up to Tiger Woods - you can swing whatever you want in your life on the green and off and still get...

Got thinking about the end. As in what happens to all that food we just ate in the end, kind of end. Well I want to expand on the idea with India's example. With a land mass a third of the continental United States and a population over 1 Billion (by some measures) we can deduce the following - An average human produces about 1 pound of excreta a day. That is approx 1B pounds of excreta in the whole nation. Since 75% of it is water the dry bacteria loaded content is only about 250 million pounds which is about 100 million kilos in the desi system. Now think what 100 million kilos or 114 thousand tons of shit per day looks like. That is the equivalent of six thousand semi tractor trailers full of hard turd lined up per day. Now you may say I am full of it - but lets not joke here. Of this about 50% conservatively speaking is not processesed successfully due to poor infrastrcture etc. That means around 3000 truck loads of crap is being channeled into the local ecosystems da...

SNR - Simply not right. What you ask? A bunch of things about our way of life. The time we spend chasing the next promotion so we can get to our next purchase. The time we spend obsessing over our child's grades. The time we lose squabbling over ideology and criticism (like the one here). It is also called Signal-to-Noise Ratio. A fancy term to define true worth or value of all the data compared to the actual amount of data available. Also signal-to-noise ratio is sometimes used informally to refer to the ratio of useful information to false or irrelevant data in a conversation or exchange. All this to highlight that we as a species have not really obtained more intellect over time since that is a function of the capacity of humankind to develop a part of its anatomy but rather have seen more irrelevant data being generated by a lot of sources that previously did not exist. For starters there are more of us now and by the simple bell curve theory we generate more useless ...

As an absolute question I think aliens might agree that humans are better off than on..I mean look around you, the idiocy and the chaos and the disparities and the discrepancies. But on the other hand they may lose their valuable source of entertainment. But I digress as always. The real question I was trying to pose and seek answers was whether we as a species are better of on the planet now than say when Henry Ford was born, or when Abe Lincoln was around or when Alexander became great or when the Egyptians decided to haul ass and build some pyramids? I was listening to a thesis from a Harvardite that in general we are doing better in terms of totality of violence and human destruction. His POV is that over the millenia we have reduced our total kill rate and therefore are a much more civilized society and that there is hope. Now clearly such a subject is abstract and quantifying violence and consequent suffering is at best a theoretical exercise. While it may be true that we ...

American English is an interesting language as it has its own definition of how and where to use certain words. Cookie which is very American describes a small, flat, baked treat, usually containing fat, flour, eggs and sugar. Other English speakers refer to it as a biscuit. Now having concocted said cookie the Americans decided to go and use it in various arrangements as in - You are a smart cookie or you are a tough cookie..depending on the personal characteristics of a human (or animal as the case may be).. Then there is the reference to those that are found on your computer as in the pieces of code left behind as you visit different websites on the world wide web. Interesting subject to study on how the lowly cookie made its way in to the ether. Then there is cookie talk - as in crazy talk like the elaborate discussion presented here. Wonder if the Queen had an aversion to refer to her subjects as loyal biscuits?

We tend to use these but if you ponder you see the cracks - Vanish without a trace (if there was one - trace that is - then it won't be vanishing would it?); What's up? Never really got that one - Sky, heavens (for the believers perhaps), actually its relative since it depends on what UP is, blood pressure or a certain body part at certain times of day (or night) but otherwise what a meaningless expression; What goes around comes around - Seriously? If its going around you want to get away from it and not wait for the proof - influenza, hanta, H1N1 or its cousins.. btw why around - why not zig or zag? or sometimes straight like a drunk snake? Can someone not go straight up and come down? Like in an elevator? Not sure why around got someone tickled pink?

Famous historic agreements and events happen on various soils - as in country's or properties owned by stars or the rich and famous or politically established. I have a problem with that. First of all that property is generally so removed from the actual event it is trying to control or address that it is meaningless. Its like signing a deal on the water off the coast of Madagascar to set the Bundesbank funds rate. Who? What? So it is with all these idiotic locales that someone chose without asking me. Bretton Woods system is one that oft gets cited as the one that led us out of the woods..who picked this mountain resort and who is this Bretton? Why that specifically? I mean when the WWII was raging they could have put themselves in the thick of it and done the deal on the beaches of Normandy? Camp David- what the heck is that? It is not a camp. There are no cloth tents or mosquito nets where the leaders go to hob nob gobble? Where are the pictures of the Arab leaders s...

Am trying out a juxtaposition (not entirely sure who this juxta was) of two concepts in writing - Homophones are two iphones happily in love with each other (or more of their species), Actually no, its the owners that they make gay (happy), I am awed, because its odd, An aside did you know, Awesome has an 'e' and Awful does not.

In Indian mythology their are some million gods (hey we like variety) and each typically has their favorite ride to get around. If you could compare them to today's human incarnations and try to draw a parallel (or some lines or parabolas) in terms of what Americans consider their favorite rides it lends itself to some pretty interesting observations - 1. Ganesh or Ganpati or Heramba or Vinayaka by far is the most conservative of drivers - what with a small mouse to get around - that compares to today's Prius or Smart car drivers. As it should be since Ganesh - the god of learning does seem to have a lot of smarts. 2. Durga Mata - or the Goddess Kali - btw these gods and godesses did also have many alternate names to confuse the invaders and tyrants I think so they never knew what hit them - anyway - Durga preferred to ride a lion - that would be like today's muscle car - like a Corvette or Dodge Charger V8 to get from zero to sixty in a nifty. 3. Dattatraya - or th...

Not the fascinating stuff we walk on as much as how its come to be used in the English language as a metaphor or idioms or Hollywood slang wherever you turn. It all began with Alladin flying on one that mesmerized the reading and movie going public where Disney continues to milk that cow (or wool) for what its worth. Then came this - He was called to the carpet and when he refused they took him to the carpet..That pulled the rug from under him .. On getting to the carpet the honcho said ..Nice rug (with reference to the toupe) you got there .. what did you expect? A red carpet welcome? Since you don't got what I want I am going to mess you on this carpet and then proceed to sweep everything under the carpet. Capiche?

I am of course refering to the goings on in the Silicon Valley. Off late it appears that new dogs are barking and old ones are retiring. For example - HP- Hew let the Pack Hurd out? Putting an old lady to work at the chief's table is not going to help when people want Gigs not Megs. Zynga - zingged when people dropped it like a scorcher - the games they play are not. Fakebook claims a billion - people signed up that is - not entirely sure to do what. Oracle chief realizes that land is something that is not growing - at least the islands are not (they are all sinking with global warming) - so decides to buy some quickly before he passes on.. More pads, pods and phones later I see more phonies that pad their story than realism.. Of course you could ditch all this ogling and go research what's wrong with the world - you only need Google!

The first presidential debate between the opposite sides of the American political spectrum took place today. Of the millions that watched I was not. First the word spectrum requires some inspecting. Frankly their isn't one - not in American politics. There are the left side liberal nutjobs that are still going down the path of subsidizing losers and then there is the fanatic right who is a hair shy of pulling the trigger on the next war. There is nothing in between. Maybe hot air but nothing else. So spectrum is not a true definition - there is nothing between Violet and Red - its more like Polar Opposites. Anyway I got to thinking that given the state of the state and so on what if Nobody Showed up to watch these debates? What if they spent millions and nobody gave a mosquitoes ass to attend? Same goes for all those so called celebrity sold out concerts and shows. What if nothing sold? That will teach this air bags to deflate and stay deflated. No more paparazzing an...

Disease naming must be an art more than a science. Although treating them is hopefully more science than art. Some have almost magical or musical sounding names compared to the arcane ones like AIDS or FLU. So here is a tribute to the catchy ones - Rickets - although eerily similar to a popular game this ailment requires enough solar exposure among other things to rid. Scurvy - sounds sexy but its not - requires abundant use of citrus to address root cause (literally). Gonorrhea - also referred to as Clap - this one is nothing to cheer about. Requires abstinence of certain activity to start. Start the recovery I mean. Angina - has a tendency to rhyme with a female body part but is immensely painful to someone experiencing this. Typically requies a 911 call. Gout - It can be a rout if not treated. Nowadays thanks to advances in medicine and vaccinations some of the more commonly occuring ones like Cholera, Typhoid, Tetanus and Malaria do not rear their ugly heads (at least i...

Readers Digest has or perhaps still does a few pages of jokes titled 'Humor in Uniform' which gave me the idea of the title for this write up. Some first or last names that people carry around or more appropriately get referred to when used in another context can sound silly, humorous or scary.. The language can do wonders or confound depending on your perspective. Some examples - 1. Lance - a prominent contemporary first name but when used to describe - the doctor decided to lance the boil - makes it lose its charm? Separate blog on how some of these word associations came to be - I have never heard of anything else being lanced other than boils. And what the hell are boils anyway? I thought liquids boiled? 2. Stone - another hollywoody incarnation or perhaps more profound but used to describe - they found a stone the size of a golf ball in her kidneys - puts a different slant to the name. 3. Guy - You might wonder if this person had any self esteem growing up? He...

Yes, yes I know. We all have aspirations although too much of that and you will be out of breath, aspirating I mean. But I want to yam a bit about this whole idea of growing up. People have been possessed by this one facet about other people's lives since time immemorial. A father asks his child - what do you want to be when you grow up? Sometimes a stranger asks a newly met acquaintance the same loaded question. To which there are a few possible answers depending on the mood. 1. What do you mean growing up? How else should I be growing? Skewed? At a slight angle to the earth? How slight? What examples of angular growth can you cite? 2. Why are we all obsessed with this idea of growing up? To respond to the 'where did you grow up?' question there are also many possible answers like - I mostly grew around the buttocks then some rapid expansion in the groin area followed by some bulbous activity behind my ears. Sort of like Al Neuman. Also some of these quest...

Everyone is touting 2.0 this and 2.0 that. I say its time to roll out 3.0 ideas. Its apropo that they are marketing ideas. What would the world look life if not for new concepts before the birth actually occurs? This one is about birth of the genome. Its a fancy word for the entire human genetic map consisting of billions of DNA. So in that sense the genome comes into being each time another human is conceived (without going in to the whole life - pro life debate here). Ironically seven billion unique ones are currently active on the planet. What is 3.0 is the nascent science of mapping it out and making it commercially available at your local Walmart. That is if you have spare dineros burning your card or your wallet you could conceivably arrive at your local clinic or even your grocer pharmacy and ask for a personal genetic map to be produced for you. Give few drops of the red stuff and sign your name (for the credit card more than anything else) and off you go. Wait 2 day...

Watched an interesting PBS documentary titled the 'Faces of America', which chronicles the genealogy of a dozen prominent Americans from present day to three centuries back in time. It tried to underscore the idea that through the centuries America has gone from strength to strength with the best that it's immigrants had to offer, sometimes in spite of facing severe hardship and bigotry themselves. The courage the first migrating generation showed was to uproot their self from what was familiar to them growing up and replant themselves in a foreign setup and then begin to establish a new identity. The present generation has the advantage of all the foundational groundwork these pioneers put in and have indeed in the examples highlighted shown how they have scaled to their respective pinnacles. From a purely genetic standpoint there is something to be said about these individual scenarios having the benefit of organic code making them successful at risk taking. How...

My friends are not old, its just that I have had the privilege of knowing them awhile. It was a great afternoon in the city by the bay and I met up first with an ex-colleague of mine from my conusltant days. He was in town to shake the tree and sell his company's consulting services to possible clients. He is good at it. The lunch appointment we had was for noon. He was on the phone all morning before he could make it down to meet. When he did appear he was nicely dressed up. It took me a moment to connect that it was him, because I was not sure if he dressed up for phone conferences or if he had put on a suit to meet me. I assumed it was the latter to flatter myself. Also he had glasses on. I had always seen him deglassed or unglassed during my time knowing him. I guess he did age after all. We ate Sushi at a neighborhood Japanese restaurant that was surprisingly not too crowded considering the humanity that had descended for the conference in town. We reminisced of o...