OOO messages can be written with a certain flair and show the creative side of the outstanding (As in out) candidates. Most are boring with recommendation to contact other less unfortunate sods to deal with the mess the Outbound person left behind.
But what if this person was Rajat Gupta? Or Bernie or Rajaratnam? Or someone in their advanced age that is checking out for a while? How would those messages look like? This grave question boggles my mind as I read of the shenanigans of the unfortunate top 1% that inhabit the Wall and surrounding floors. There is just no ceiling to what a man can do you see.
So here is a creative outburst that someone who gets thrown in the slammer might want to pilfer - they are sometimes good at that.
Hi All - You know the damndest thing happened yesterday. I was not ready for it by any means. I have to be Out of the Office for the next couple of years. That's right - TWO years give or take. Lots of you gave and I took but that is beside the point.
So you may be aware I was on trial? It was indeed like they were trying me out. To see what I would do. To see what they would do. What I want to stress (I am not stressed but you get the point) is that finally the damned leaks ended the trial. I mean I do not use a diaper and all but you know the leaks I am talking about? You don't do you? See that is what we told the judge that there were not any but he refused to believe.
Be that as it may I am now going to get a chance to observe and reflect on my next two years - I am told there are some real works of art here too - not French or Greek sounding but more like Bubba and 89 cents and the like. Even the prison they say is called Sing Sing.
Work load will be different for sure - I am told they let us stamp out your license plates. Any one have any special requests? Eh eh.. not that I can guarantee any thing.
So more importantly since I am gone a while (and frankly no guarantee of future results and all) I suggest yall take matters in your own hands - whether to leak or not, whether to quit, beg, borrow or steal. Make the most of it folks.
Yours truly... newly minted jailbird.
I like chocolates. Godiva Dark with Almonds - not sure of the naked woman on the horse to be the icon of some choice cocoa based products but tastes good. Started in Belgium but now owned by some Turks. Cadburys - Fruit and Nut Milk Bars - awesome combination of dried fruit pieces along with a medley of nuts makes your toungue dance - started by a Brit now owen by Kraft USA. Lindt Hazelnut spheres - made by a Swiss confectioner are divine balls that melt in your mouth with a lingering nutty taste Ghirardelli Milk Crisp Squares - crunchy and light these milk squares are easy on the palate but pack some serious calories - all good I say! Originally founded by an Italian who moved around till he landed in SF Bay today also owned by the Swiss Lindt empire.
You may want to add -"I am out of office, at least, you are not, if you are calling/sending me messages."
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