Out of Office

OOO messages can be written with a certain flair and show the creative side of the outstanding (As in out) candidates. Most are boring with recommendation to contact other less unfortunate sods to deal with the mess the Outbound person left behind. But what if this person was Rajat Gupta? Or Bernie or Rajaratnam? Or someone in their advanced age that is checking out for a while? How would those messages look like? This grave question boggles my mind as I read of the shenanigans of the unfortunate top 1% that inhabit the Wall and surrounding floors. There is just no ceiling to what a man can do you see. So here is a creative outburst that someone who gets thrown in the slammer might want to pilfer - they are sometimes good at that. Hi All - You know the damndest thing happened yesterday. I was not ready for it by any means. I have to be Out of the Office for the next couple of years. That's right - TWO years give or take. Lots of you gave and I took but that is beside the point. So you may be aware I was on trial? It was indeed like they were trying me out. To see what I would do. To see what they would do. What I want to stress (I am not stressed but you get the point) is that finally the damned leaks ended the trial. I mean I do not use a diaper and all but you know the leaks I am talking about? You don't do you? See that is what we told the judge that there were not any but he refused to believe. Be that as it may I am now going to get a chance to observe and reflect on my next two years - I am told there are some real works of art here too - not French or Greek sounding but more like Bubba and 89 cents and the like. Even the prison they say is called Sing Sing. Work load will be different for sure - I am told they let us stamp out your license plates. Any one have any special requests? Eh eh.. not that I can guarantee any thing. So more importantly since I am gone a while (and frankly no guarantee of future results and all) I suggest yall take matters in your own hands - whether to leak or not, whether to quit, beg, borrow or steal. Make the most of it folks. Yours truly... newly minted jailbird.