Brown Motion

People use adjectives without knowing they are using them and the folks reading or listening are equally enamored by their use or clueless as to whether they are warranted. First off I am not even sure where the word 'adjective' derives its orgin.  There are certainly no known jectives so to add an ad in front of it like you would to a verb is bizzare. Then when we are supplied with them we use them willy nilly (need to find out where this one comes from or whether nilly willy would have the same effect) as in to describe - Raw Sewage - is the cooked version slightly more rare or palatable to a different audience? Raw Video - again is cooked or treated video something that needs disclosure? Outer Space - typically NASA would not have ventured there had it not been OUT THERE.  So no they have not done any Inner Space research.  They leave that to the less qualified medical profession. Exclusive Footage - why am I interested in exclusivity of anything?  If ...

I am contributing to it.  What I find amazing is that the big money is now in big data.  So the scam goes as follows. First create methods and tools to allow for a lot of people to spew out a lot of nonsensical data.  Then claim you have the magic bullets to harness all that big data.  Then claim that you can access the big data using weirdo sounding platforms like Hadoop. Then claim that using advanced SEO and Decision Scientists who would use analytics like a chef would use a spatula you can target the most valuable customers with the most relevant messages. Mining for information is more lucrative than mining for gold.  There is an inherent belief that all the data out there has nuggets and the big westward migration of the 1900s to pan for gold is now becoming the pan chewing PIO's (person of Indian origin) quest for the next IPO. In the process some of the established players are taking notice and offer the silver bullet of being a one-sto...

Maroon ... staying up many hours after work sucking beverages with high OH (hydroxl) content, in the city (or accurately on a man made island) by the bay.  I had been invited as a guest to a local billionaire's software company celebration - an annual ritual that occurs on Treasure Island. This time to add to the evening frivolities he invited a pop band called Maroon 5 - apparently the in thing amongst a certain demographic the noise was lost on me and clearly sent the message that crowds were definitively not my thing. The view of the night skyline from a ferris wheel at the foot of the newly decorated bay bridge was awesome but the sea of humanity trying to wave and compete with the real deal right outside was somewhat retarded. I felt marooned would not have been far from the truth.  The food service was widespread as were the abundance of portable potties and device charging stations.  But the quality of the mass produced and served alcohol and nu...

As English language goes getting shot is an attention getter.  Shot with what is a logical question.  So this AM we went to get the ritualistic Flu shots for the family.  As in prevention against the pesky influenza virus strain for the year. There was an orderly line in front of the clinic.  As in people were standing in organized fashion - that does not mean there were orderlies attending to each other.  The line curved around the building but was being tended to by volunteers in orange vests who were partially functioning.  It was early and they were volunteering for a donut and coffee. So then they come around and hand out forms to fill.  More paper than the volume of vaccine being injected into the humans but hey the law is the law.  Why they cannot use prior year information and simply click on a screen and go is beyond me - but I have a faint suspicion that there are a lot of things beyond and above me that I have not been alerted to - ...

So as promised towards the end of my prior discourse I promptly went in search of new material to blog about.  That came in the form of my visit to the barber. I believe it says Salon on the neon, in funky script somewhere over the door.  Hey but who cares - its the cheapest mowing facility available in town.  Run by a 5' dude from Vietnam who we shall call Mr. K.  That itself should be fundoo enough to fill pages. So it is.  First of all there are a plethora of half ass partially ripped signs on all walls indicating the cost of an adult haircut with a 30% premium for those wanting to use plastic to pay him instead of paper. Then comes the ATM machine next to the signage but next to the till.  This availability at the point of sale yields some nice commissions to Mr. K from the daft folks that walk in with nothing in their pocket except their ATM card. I walked in on a weekday morning knowing that this is a sure fire way to be in n out in under...

There is a big problem with today's procreation.  The procree does not have a say in the matter.  For example he or she cannot procrastinate his or her arrival on the planet if the conditions are not suitable for arrival. For example if there is bad weather at an airport the pilot of an approaching aircraft has complete veto power on whether to land in the muck or avoid the landing.  Come back later or go someplace else.  Why is it not the same with child birth? Big problem.  In fact the problem is really embedded in the idea that the offspring does not have any say in the whole idea of being sprung.  People get drunk, get emotionally out of whack or whatever and bing - you have a crawler in nine months.  No discussion - no choice - pal you are out. So as I theorize ground breaking ideas in my insightful writings here is a concept.  Babies will have ample opportunity to review their prospects before being born in the future.  Think abou...

to a new planet.  I have concluded that which ever way I choose to look at the creations in front of me - organic or inorganic - its getting real boring.  Delusional (including myself) does not even begin to cover it. Being delusional is accepting that there is a baseline that is considered non delusional.  Problem is there is no proof that says that the people defining said baseline were themselves not. Venus and Mars according some dude are taken or may have traces of what we see on this rock so I suppose I have to stretch my imagination a bit further.  A place where the concept of pushing paper or its static equivalent does not exist. Most of what humans seem to be doing anywhere on the planet is pushing ridiculous amounts of paper or vapor or just plain electrons.  Ponzi would be a mere euphemism to describe the ridiculous schemes being hatched and the shells that are left behind. As a species we seem to have bought into it wholesale though and are h...

Some ideas for products and branding for the Indian subcontinent - 1.  Parampara Diapers (to compete with Pampers) 2.  Shakkarbhog Kafi (to compete with Starbucks) 3.  Nayak Shoes and other parphenalia (to compete with Nike) 4.  Appam (all devices used for staring at other people's humdrum lives to compete with Apple) 5.  Khilona (all local sedans to compete with TOYota) More when I get some caffiene into me.

I occasionally read up on Indian mythical tales as narrated by those that claim to have an inside track on the authenticity of these beyond sci fi events. As you peruse the happenings millenia ago where the likes of Ram and Laxman (no lax man this) and the sages that educated them you are left to wonder simple questions like - 1.  What sort of caffieneted beverages would they have in the morning?  I mean to go looking for wackos with swords and tridents about to pounce on you - you must need something more than Red Bulls? 2.  What sort of medication were they using?  I mean with today's technology we still are faced with high incidence of BP, ED, MS, and not to forget Fungus.  In spite of so many antibacterial soaps et al we cannot seem to avoid the deadly Coli this or that so these guys must have taken something - many had a colorful life sometimes losing track of who was sleeping with whom.  3.  Which stores offered their ...

Ever wonder how humans can be swayed?  Well it does not take much apparently.  Not Harvard degrees or fancy MBAs.  Even Morty Seinfeld knew that you moved merchandise uisng dim lighting and cheap fabric. Many American companies tend to think that by classifying their wares in distinct classes they can offer product for every customer segment.  They go to great lengths to explain the virtues of what incremental benefit the next category of product would offer its user. If you think about it that is the dumbest idea ever.  Different stores in exclusive neighborhoods along with brand specific marketing and fancier models to show off the wares?   They should all take lessons from airline industry and sell their crap back to back with a thin curtain dividing the offerings.   Also make all the losers walk right through the high end product so they can gape and aspire and come to hate the low end merchandise. But no - they actually create sepa...

A newspaper in some part of the world 50 years ago would have had words like 'Government', 'Food', 'Housing' maybe 'Wars' in some headlines to keep the product exciting. Turn to 2001 and beyond and the lexicon is completely unrecognizable. As a people we have been introduced to concepts like sound bites, talking points, headline news, breaking news, newsflash et al. To keep the humdrum machinery going media people aka editors and journos have resorted to terms and jargon that spans the ludicrous to the outrageous. Whales once thought of as the largest sea living mammal appeared in suburban London under the auspices of an American bank founded by an ex oil tycoon. A artisinal term for crafting pottery became a Federal Reserve Bank induced event called Taper. Then there were the Bailouts and the variety of Gates (not Bill but any scam or scandal that for want of readership sold quickly with a gate attached at the end). Bubbles outside of a pa...

There is some organized running event about to happen in the SF bay area.  As organized sports go these days 'Marathons' have very low barriers to entry - to both organize and participate.  What with multitude of diseases against which humankind is losing a one way battle some yoyo comes up with a colored shirt and ribbons (that have hitherto not been claimed as proprietary by cancer survivors or aids walkers or liveweak organizations) and presto. There is a new marathon event born every 2 miles. So back to the title of this ramble.  I spotted natives of a southern province in India of which there are more than there are apps on Appstore and who reside in the California's Silcon Valley.  The region is known as Andhra Pradesh. What I mean is not just spotted them but that they were actively running - without shoes.  Now when it comes to the tales of Have vs. Have Nots this one is a new flavor.  First you had people that had so much food to eat tha...

Similar to the hilarious movie title starring Dan Ackroyd.  I debated with the title for this episode with a close contender being 'how long is your line?' I will explain.  When it comes to trading shares in a publicly owned company people being people resort to the intelligence of some harvard graduate with a fancy title at a fancy Jewish sounding business. These wizards concoct theories on what makes a stock worthy of trading and present convoluted logic that will contrary to the hippocratic but consistent with hypocrisy oath line their pockets first. One such buffoon has been measuring the length of the line outside the Apple stores to determine if their stock was worth buying. Now by his perception of reality we should encourage our dharmic leaders in India to do the same.  Not stand outside a fruit market to see how long the lines are but rather outside a given place of worship to see what the take is. Then consistent with their catholic cousins take best p...

When you drive as much as I do in California you end up looking for distractions from the actual act of driving.  Enter fancy vanity plates and bumper stickers on vehicles.  These range from clever to moronic yet everyone takes their shot at them. Vanity plates is the height of - yep - vanity- because people actually cough up more money to their governments to explain their thoughts on the license plate of their car.  Its their paid license to exercise their first amendment rights. Most of these same folks also complain about how their government is out to get them on variety of taxes.  Yet they think nothing about putting their thoughts on a plate like 'LAWYAH', or 'K8SBMW', or 'PORHSA'.  Duh? Then come the stickers.  These can be applied on bumpers or any part of your automobile that you feel is reasonable to hold the item and ensure large readership.  Substantial revenues are collected by a variety of sticker crafting institutions includi...

You betcha. If you really think about the humanity that passes you on the sidewalk, in buses, at work or in the public restroom how many do you think qualify as superficially attractive?  Hardly 2%.  I mean the word handSOME says it.  Its not handMANY.  I don't even know what the true etymology for this stupid word is. Then again its an Asian immigrant's view who does not share the apparent tone, texture and body makeup of his Caucasian or other continental cousins.  Most immigrants from Asia arrive in the US to perform tasks that require non visible above average performing organs such as duramatter.  But it matters not in the vanity starved world. In the rat race of humanity race matters especially if you look like a rat. In fact if you get the sense you are ugly think optimistically that you may be able to outsmart and outwit your fancy cousins in most events requiring intellectual capital.  For example - not going broke. This by no m...

Of all the silliness in America there are a couple of institutions that do wonders for its people or anyone who cares to visit. First on that list would be the public libraries across all states, counties and towns.  Funded by taxpayer money they have seen a slow degradation of service in terms of open hours or staffing levels (both physical and mental) but nonetheless they serve as a vast treasure for someone just hungry to read.  You will be surprised at the content they carry - in some geographies in several languages. Inspite of the lack of enthusiasm on part of the staff, that I too (inspite of dulling of the senses) remember from two decades ago on our first encounter with this system; the librarians are largely a friendly bunch with the information desk glad to assist if you had a specific query. The library also provides a place of refuge in times of local crises, fires or displacing events.  They serve as a shelter in case of extreme weather and for pe...

Perhaps I have dwelled on this idea before but hey age is a wonderful thing - you can pretend its the first time each time and you get a hall pass. As curious expressions go this one is out there - including 'out there' but lets focus on - 'Pass Out'. In India it meant you graduated from one stage of your meaningless life into another (like from school to college) except you did not have the intelligence to know what was coming was more of the same. In the western world typically it has come to signify a state close to or equal to comatose.  Comatose is not the fifty first state (to clarify for some half wit that may get confused) but its where most drivers on the highways are as an example. Then there is the expression used at gatherings of all kinds where items or food or beverages have to be distributed in somewhat organized fashion. Then there is the most critical of them all - as in when I swallowed a goat bone (I love goat meat) unbeknownst to me - unt...

A tale of two opinions. Stateside specifically in the SF bay area, a lazy and super entitled transit rail workforce is asking for more to do less (not doing more with less mind you).  Those would be the lazy and incompetent Union staff that leave dirty trains for the enjoyment of commuters. Then there is India with an Onion crisis on its hands.  I wonder if that is causing anyone to tear up?  As they peel this one it appears that prices are rising faster than gold and petrol.  What gives? Groupon (yes the very same that provides 90% discount on Thai massages stateside) is/was offering 80% off a bag of 10 kilo onions in India (that is 20 lbs for igno-runts) that caused the site to crash.  This inspite of Onion vapor's tendencies to revive someone who has crashed. A black market in white onions is now operating in parts of India.  To add color to this story its reported that people are developing bunions while walking in banians to fetch the onio...

Let me see how many people click on this blog.  Its really an experiement. Certain phrases are more a Hollywood creation than reality I think.  'Sleeping With' is one such.  It immediately brings negative connotation to mind when used in a sentence or read in a book or watched as part of a movie dialog.  It titillates some gland somewhere I bet. But why is that?  Why is 'sleeping with' misconstrued as such?  We are brainwashed is why.  You could logically be sleeping with someone meaning just that.  Sleeping.  The 'With' is the culprit I think.  So now let us focus on that word.  The dictionary merely describes it (I mean With) as 'accompanied by'.  Demi glazed chicken with asparagus.  Coffee with whipped cream.  With.  Nothing more nothing less. I slept with Amanda.  Amanda accompanied me in the act of sleeping.  Or vice versa.  What is the problem?  Frankly I am not even sure...

Engineering advances far outnumber and outpace those in the field of medicine.  Over time we have continually seen the collapse of variety of electronic devices and mechanical ones to where you can now drive out of a showroom with a high speed computer, radio, camera and a timepiece on four wheels that can have you accelerating at 15 miles per second.  All this while emitting no toxic gas. Medicine on the other hand still has a variety of pills for fighting or helping different bodily functions and then again many are not so smart - its hit or miss.  Personal experience and personal opinion. Its not like the take this pill and go to bed joke that really works.  Its a litany of visits and non stop poking and prodding to ultimately guess the root cause (my dentist can attest) or so we thought. Apple computer (which was the original name of the company) was more a phone company than a computer company but really sold a mini computer packaged as a phone. ...

What is it with someone recommending another someone or sometimes themselves to a certain role or job or relationship?  They start describing the many virtues and the advancements and the accomplishments from the past.  Although past results are no guarantee of future outcomes. We see it in our daily lives - from a good doctor to a skilled plumber to a vesatile restaurant to a good toothbrush.  There are whole businesses that thrive on someone else's ability to recommend something to somebody else. Of course what I find fascinating is not so much that we are inherently a species that likes this social interaction but that we feel compelled to expand on the recommended item or individual beyond what is necessary. If I want a landscaping professional I do not want to ask my friend his opinion only to hear - talk to Renaldo - he is really good.  Why is mere talk to Jose not enough?  Is it because there is some lingering doubt in my friend's mind tha...

It's all ones and zeroes these days.  Your entire existence is captured in bits and bytes which ultimately are electrons in a computer.  Represented as one and zero.  From your very existence in the form of a unique ID, issued by the state you are in (intoxicated truants get their own id) to your bank account balances and stock holdings or a company's balance sheet to a government's budget are simply random electrons forcibly organized to represent something of value.  If the power goes out one day (that is a strange expression - where does it go out to?) these weird charges go crazy and all could be lost.  Big Zero. Similarly in real life you are either a Zero or hero.  As in some One.  Up and on the go or Down and out.  Binary - nothing more nothing less. People are always trying to take themselves seriously and are in an eternal quest for oneupmanship.  South Koreans recently decided to build the world's tallest invisible skyscraper. ...

I am not going to bore you with a tale about the life of a shelf.  Or describe in gory details (sidebar - what is the opposite of gory - ungory, kali (for those that are multilingual)?)  what material a shelf can be made of. Rather - I got to wondering what this cliched term actually meant.  When you study 'Inventory Management' (fancy way of saying - where is my S**T or I can't find any of my S*%T) you first encounter this term in its formal glory. It signifies the time a widget spends sitting on a shelf before its consumed.  Consumed itself has different connotations depending on who is doing the consuming.  So it is basically the life time calculated by subtracting date of use or expiration from the date of arrival (on said shelf). Physical products like soap, toilet paper, cookies, candy, juice, pens, paper, trousers, computers, phones, cars, aircraft all have varying durations of shelf life defined by how well they can service the end user.  Cons...

Facebook founders would love the use of this ubiquitous phrase used by Indians in their daily conversations. Our GDP is growing like anything you know? It is usually articulated not as a question but something of a fact.  The you know serves as a crutch to end any sentence. Like anything is also a strange comparison used to describe anything from wildfires to rape to state of  the union to your child's intellect.  He is smart like anything you know? Other phrases or words commonly heard in conversation in India and not elsewhere include - Diaspora Harmony Like that only

Syriasly?  Get it? I mean the uproar in the American political landscape about whether we the freedom bag holders should meddle yet again is as dumb a question as whether India should host another religious festival. Duh? Do people not have better things to focus on like paying attention to problems that are right in your own yard .. Perhaps fix the aging infrastructure ...which could apply to the US these days as much as India oddly enough. Meddling in other people's tragedies is not a solution for anything.  If it were we would have seen a utopian planet long back.  Many in history have shown up at someone else's doorstep and have left with dismal results. Frankly it is obvious that there are vested financial or political interests at work that cause people in power to do what they do.  Ever thought of helping out the poor saps in Africa who brutally kill each other daily  for variety of reasons primarily in search of basics like water and food? ...

What do Indian Halwai's (dessert makers) and Google's mobile operating system have in common? That depends - apparently a lot of said purveyors of desi delicacies use their trusty Google OS (Android) powered phones to operate a business or conduct idle chit chats (to go with some chaat). Also in its latest incarnation of an oriental twist on a western brand, Android is out to get a short list of sweet names for its latest OS version.  Hot contender after Jelly Bean is Kaju Katli. I saw other suggestions like Ladoo, Jalebi and even Vada Pav (desi burger).  If that came to pass you can imagine the local yokels saying they have the latest Kaju Katli in their pockets.  It can be viewed favorably or with angst by Chitale (a regional brand leader in desserts comparable to a Parisian Bakery) and their other Bandhu (brethren).  Imagine people wanting to come to Chitale and ordering their mithai (sweet bites) and then walking to the phone shop next door...

Some recent and not so recent smile (or guffaw) inducing text spotted on the world wide web - 1.  I changed all my passwords to 'incorrect' so when I forget it the computer will tell me 'your password is incorrect' 2.  My wife told me to get in shape - I told her round is a shape 3.   My wife who sits next to me on our drive to office told me I was going 80 in a 45 mph zone - I told her 'you are too' 4.  Dalai Lama went to Pizza Hut and told the cook to make him one with everything. 5.  We had a major disc failure across all our systems and backups - I just crowdsourced a hacker online to hack it back from his masters who copy everything we do on a daily basis (fill 'country name' here)

As in the 6th incarnation of the iphone that is.  iphone not i phone or any other phony name would do.  Or could it?  I mean it is phony?  Whatever the case the phone needs one.  As in the case.  To prevent it from shattering on the tile floor day 1.  Else you will have to get rid of the tiles in your house and switch to carpet.  But that is phoney baloney now. Regardless it was reported that four days prior to the launch four people lined up outside the Apple store in NY to buy the device.  On day 3 it was discovered it was some dead homeless people.   Whether they were originally in line and ended up dead is being investigated.  Also curiously it is now being debated if they were indeed homeless.  The tell tale clues were the 'Will wash car for iphone 6' ads that were found on their person. Homeless people are now able to look up cool or hot spots to chill for the night with a new app.  That is latest for the mo...

I like many others abhors the visit to the dentist.  I mean its really something you rather not have to do unless you absolutely must.  In America people do visit their dental practitioner (that term is scary in itself) for regular checkups and cleaning which was news to me.  I hope practice makes perfect (but its never mentioned in the brochure how long they need to practice). Its like we don't think you have the aptitude or skill to brush very well so we would like to use our fancy tools to poke you and rinse you.  Total damage - few hundred quid.  That should make you tingle if the effervescent fluids don't. On one such service call I found that I had a gummy problem.  An existing infrastructure project that had required a canal to be dug in my roots (we are talking teeth here) had somehow malfunctioned.  That led to some and such and net net my gums (now is it singular or plural?) had an ache.  Its like 'wear your pants' I thin...

Stupidity or irony?  I saw an Indian news channel showing desi public that has adopted yet another quirk from the western, specifically their American cousins.  That of harboring a pet in the house.  To most people it takes the form of a dog or cat. These creatures known for not using wet wipes for their butt cleansing after performing the essential tasks are seen cuddling with humans who might be eating at the same time.  Moreover these creatures that were originally fed scraps are now given expensive food packaged specifically for their well being. This is irony at its best where recent news showed tens of children being fed poisoned food in an Indian state, that eventually killed them.  Papi pet (is the pet the criminal here?) as in a metaphoric use of the word to indicate 'stomach as a sin' is the idea to provide nutrition as crucial need for survival of any human. In a country where India cannot guarantee basic nutrition for over half its populat...