Brown Motion

Personal experience is sometimes the best ticket in town. I am refering to the old adages etc when applied to your own life turn out different than what the author experienced. Early to bed and early to 'rise' makes me very tired during the day. Forget health; wealth and wisdom are a distant second and third perhaps. This without any 'yeast' infection either. A bird in hand is positively dangerous especially if its still flapping. What with the spread of H1N1 and its ugly cousins in this viral world of ours. Those in the bush are your best chance. I say beat your way out of the bush than around it and back to civilization (alive). I am not sure about a stitch in time either - you see time itself is a make believe concept designed to keep the humans running on the treadmill of life. I am not about to go stitching it. An early bird is a rarity these days... tell me when has your flight actually come on time? Another word of caution for all wanting to touch bas...

Another buzzword jargonesque intrusion in the modern day lexicon you say? What with coupons and offers and facebook and groupon. Well true in many a case but not when its in many a human. Viruses. From West Nile (more research on the Nile River is in order) to AIDS to now Hanta we seem to be importing more from Africa than we think. After finding that Mitt Romney and dancing cats and other obvious in your face acts only garner so much you tube (or tube of your persuasion) viewing time, the world is waking up to the invisible. Viruses. Visible as a small protein cluster under very powerful microscopes these dudes have real staying power. They have been around since the dawn of civilization (again a strangely romantic notion given no one knows if the clock measurements started at dawn or dusk or if it was always dawn for a period of time). As we can all attest the Common Cold is more common than common sense for a reason.

Canoodling is not a Canadian noodle making recipe; BRICS are not as solid as they appear to be instead it appears VIETNAM is; You don't have 5,000 friends on Facebook, rather (using the fakebook) every'one' is a product that is being used to generate money (they hope); Bric a Brac has nothing to do with bricks or candy but its the collective noun that refers to what Americans spend their entire paycheck on; RNC is not an airport code (maybe it is) but a formal advertising opportunity for the extreme right (Republicans) to thump their chest in front of the American audience; the DNC follows shortly when the liberal nuts get their shot at throwing all those eggs back at the Republicans; The Cloud is not a rainmaker and a rainmaker makes money without rain

The title would make all sense if it were 'Hanta in the Serengeti' but Yosemite definitely has a lot more chill effect going for it. I am refering to the recent deaths of a couple of park visitors to the Yosemite National Park in east California. This is one of my most beloved park for a variety of reasons not the least of which is its drivable in under 4 hours and offers dramatic vistas that take your breath away. The deaths in question (actually in the park) were a result of a fatal (to the US) infection from the rare HANTAVIRUS carried by rodents. They must have transmitted this deadly virus to these visitors as they slept in the tents that they rented. Details were sketchy. What the headline proclaimed was around 1700 visitors are likely affected. I remember hearing of this particular germ when we lived in Hawaii many moons ago. We were friends with an epidemiologist at the Univ of Hawaii whose specialty was life threatening viruses like HIV and Hanta. These are al...

Was listening to public radio last night (good distraction from the active act of driving a car) where David Suzuki (Canadian environmentalist) spoke about the paradox of constant growth. Today people from all countries are conditioned to think about growth as the only imperative, progress in all manners of systems whether economic, monetary, agriculture et al. The reality though is that there is a limited resource called Earth and by simply making a better mouse trap we are not going to find new mice to trap. There are only 99 mice left (metaphorically paraphrasing). He uses a test tube full of bacteria that exponentially multiply to elaborate his point. That when supply is constant and demand exceeds a tipping point we are screwed. He indicated that we are already in the last inning but we kid ourselves (through our acquired arrogance) that we can outdo this cycle. Truly the only outcome I personally see is for places like India to retard and eventually cull their enormous pop...

1. First man on moon dies ... I did not know we had started a colony there. 2. Cyclist stripped of medals... first question - why was he wearing them? second question - who cares what he is doing (Stripping or otherwise)? 3. 'Someone' delivers a baby...substitute any dumb celeb name for someone - then wonder if there are other things that humans have learnt to deliver (lot of grief comes to mind followed by pizza but in the biological frame of mind - an instant grown person is not yet possible so yes its a baby); the other poignant questions is - who was the baby delivered to? Humanity? Can we have a say in this? We don't want any more celeb babies. 4. Greece not lost says Merkel - of course you are! We always knew where the islands were - what with so many wrecks to prove it. 5. Woman shot in front of her children - what did she shoot? Her children?

It was a fine evening with the temps hovering in the sixties that evening. I was invited to join a group of business partners for a evening spent at a vineyard, supposedly listening to some local comics with wine to dull the senses. It turns out one comic was on stage with the wine. Apparently that had also dulled his delivery since nothing much happened in the first few minutes of his arrival and improv. He tried a few masturbation and dead roach installments but they went nowhere. Personally I was enjoying some olives and cheese not so much the wine. Then a group of people that we did not know joined us at our table. The good news was they got some Thai take out. And I took advantage of it..turns out a lot of folks were sweating bullets with the ginger and beef preparation and trying to focus on the bad joke that just came whizzing by; meant more for me. I had my priorities straight. I did not care much for the Savuignon that was offered - benig a dessert wino myself - but ...

Angela admonishes the Greek dude - I told you to take care of your hair and ear wax before coming here - don't pretend you didn't hear me.. forget the hair - If its ear wax then pull it out slowly Hair is what I use to hide my stupidity I say go hairless and YOU will not need to DYE Hard

So here is a newstory that caught my eye ... http://www.cnbc.com/id/48778287 I know as stories go this one is up there beyond the Galaxy on the 5th storey or so claims the monk with intimate knowledge of the beyond. Something even the late Mr. Jobs could not see.. or could he? Maybe he was early (when he was not late) to a lot of ideas and hence he did. Now of course take the monks claim with grains of rice (salt sounds too unhealthy) since they are merely claims. However if this angelic existence were to be believed then perhaps it is fair to assume that the new book of Jobs will contain secrets to help the earthling 'Cook' something more exciting than what was offered to the consuming public before. The OS would be renamed iMonk and would be confounding to the serious technogeeks. OS is what makes the device come alive and work. The rest as they say is simply make believe. The monastic experience is already winning court battles it would appear from the latest US ve...

Some reasons why it would help to not listen to the media unless you are looking forward to such information - 1. A laborious conversation on the race (pun intentional) of several shooters will be held by every air head out there 2. Another continuation of the seriously idiotic debate on whether rape is legitimate and its impact on the vote 3. A mind numbing kerchief twisting discussion on whether the Federal Reserve deserves to preserve the monetary makeup or let it go to the dogs (not the kosher kind) 4. Take your pick of nude pics - from Prince Harry (why anyone wants to look at him clothed is debatable much less with less), to any of the other accidental Hollywood celebs who spend more on less (clothing) 5. All manners of stripped titles/medals will be sold on eBay as bullion (buyers would need to watch for what is stripped else face a lemon) since all currencies will have no value 6. The robot from MARS will discover its nice out there and send a beam and destroy all the...

In the ongoing saga of 'we are in trouble' (refer earlier pedantic ramblings elsewhere on this site) I think the decline of civilization is coming in spades. First it was the desire to excel - win - be ahead of the pack etc. Now its retarding to falling bridges, crumbling airports, people shooting other people (more than before) and stripped titles. Most recently some federation of something or another decided to strip a cycling hero (more on use of this hackneyed term later) of his by contesting that he used performance enhancing drugs to aid in achieving them in the first place (no pun). In fact I should say he took them to come in the first place (now that should be clear as mud). But wait - what is with the redundant descriptor 'performance enhancing'? What other types of drugs do you think an athlete would take before hitting the road in the Alps? Viagra? I suppose if he was multitasking then yes but there is no evidence of that impropriety according to t...

Not to be confused with Curds (which are the cheese like residue that you can extract from butter milk) but an individual from northern Iraqi region of Kurdistan. Whilst trying to procure an Indian Visa this gent was in line with me awaiting his turn to get his hands on one. The 'why?' is for a different blog. Turns out the Kurds are a fascinating bunch of hard working folk with a nationalist identity of their own. Always a subject of wars with neighbors they have not managed to declare freedom but have decided to exist as if they are their own entity. Thus this was my first ever time meeting a Kurdish National. Not to be confused with Hebrew National which happens to be a popular hot dog. Not a feverish canine but the lowly meat in a tube contraption served in a sliced bun with relish. Who or why it came to be called a Hot Dog is one of those strange tales about dog meat being the original ingredient in the Sausage. As for Relish which is a pickled cabbage in Europe, ...

This is not a corny thriller title to compete with 50 shades - far from it. It is about the idea of controlling entry into a country. I can see how the rich and powerful countries would want to limit access to their territorial boundaries and the terra within through policy designed to deter unwarranted applicants. But for a country like India to have a policy that restricts entry based on the nationality of the visitor seems farcical. To add to that the process designed to obtain the permission, the VISA application process is a first level deterrent. Now if I was the minister of tourism or an equivalent titled bureaucrat, my objective would be to encourage more applicants rather than deter. Au Contraire. They have erected a barrier that very likely results in the average American farmer (assuming someone from Iowa actually gets it into his head to go see the TAJ) to take a weekend to merely understand the 39 step process of what exactly is going to be involved to get that VISA...

Today I met some new faces. As in it was an alumni meet sponsored by a former employer. And the alums that came were all new to me. Now as far as this employer is concerned I think its a smart use of their discretionary funds since it allows the business to interact with their former human capital (that is depreciating somewhere else) and perhaps make new introductions for a possible sale (think new revenue stream). Besides some are existing clients allowing for reinforcing their engagement in a hair down setting. Where my narration is headed is that I too ran into a number of X's i.e. X-employer alum who could shared the highs and lows of a life that was and for whatever reason it now was not. Most seemed happier in their current status. Some people were job hunting, gate crashing and some were there to enjoy the food and beverages. I admit to doing a lot of the latter (and it was good too, not the Zagatish pretentious kind of morsels but actually quality you could taste...

Now I know I am being literal here but c'mon! I get asked this question in the spirit of casual engagement from the grocery store clerk, to the lady helping pick up at the GAP - after errant kids drop all the clothing in the wrong aisles at the retailer (where we are shopping for new school clothing for the kid), to the waitstaff serving me my well done burger (safest bet involving burning the meat till the chef gets bored of looking at it on the grill - avoids the medium rare debate). Did I find everything alright? Lets look at the question in pieces. There seems to be an underlying assumption in all scenarios that I was out to FIND something. In most cases that is untrue since I am merely there to while away my time so finding something is not top of mind. As an example while trotting down a Costco aisle the emphasis is on a walk and some random candy pieces that are being offered as a tease. I was not out to find those but they happened to be there. Same with that burger...

Had lunch with a colleague yesterday. It was more like he ate and I ranted. Long story. Point is that amidst my rants he also told me about something that he was reading. It involved a Frenchman visiting the Buddhist monastaries to learn from them and their way of living. The author is struck by the novel way in which the monks can go through daily chores and not say a word. Silence it seems is pervasive here and yet there is no discord or ambiguity or chaos. How can that be? My friend then took it on himself to experiment it for himself. Quite Gandhian I say in his experiments with truth - that of trying to emulate the Buddhist monk and going through his weekend without speaking with his roommate. I think he came out of it feeling profoundly pleased and more aware that we as a species create a lot of noise that is just that. NOISE. Clicking incessantly on our multitude devices to ask this and that or download and upload meaningless bits of data in turn churning out more dat...

Its time to cook up a new metric to track the world's obesity in city and villages, in countries and continents. Hence the proposal to calculate the GIRTH of a nation. Birth as you recollect is passe. Other than Sudan or Syria further breaking up south of the equator I think we are all done with new nations being born - for now - hence focusing on Girth. I know Putin is still fuming after losing half the real estate he called his. Getting back to the lard at hand - responsible for the girth that is - we can safely say that the average girth rankings would list Samoa at the top followed by the United States. I mean have you seen an average Samoan? Nothing wrong I say - their food pyramid looks more like a cylinder and that is just as well. At least they eat local - being an island and all - assumption not based on any factual data. Now the skinniest would have to be the Congo. Or some neighbor of theirs given the rate of malnutrition therein. Every other Euro zone fella w...

The ombudsman reports that several prominent signs are now emerging that we may indeed be in trouble. 1. Porn industry has shut down .. filming new movies that is .. could portend other problems 2. People are hiding behind underwear by wearing them like masks 3. Certain people are using underwear to make bombs 4. Although beauty and value are in the eyes of the beholder it now costs the equivalent of a small car to purchase sneakers - perhaps that is a good alternative to ditch the car and just wear sneakers to walk but I doubt that.. 5. Thinking outside the box is becoming harder as there are way too many boxes piled high and deep to avoid being boxed in 6. An insider look comes standard with anything that is sold outside - for someone wanting to look from the outside in 7. Latest news indicates that the IN N OUT burger (talk about confusing the outside the bell crowd - Taco bell that is) chain may have bought unhealthy cows to the table thereby causing an exodus of all th...

I mean Vows...and other trivia for the modern man or woman - I thee lease this bride .. until her warranty runs out.. Till Debt do us part.. Honey please text me whats for dinner.. You have got so lazy there is an actual farm growing on your keyboard.. perhaps you can just live off your desk? Pretty soon people will get so addicted to shopping all the time that some smart people will start selling empty boxes with make believe names just so that they can sell them .. Bukina Faso and Vanuatuu will take over all box production and lead the world in the global outsourcing story. Pretty soon thereafter people will only text that their box has left the building when in fact nothing ever gets shipped from Vanuatuu - what with the shipper itself busy sitting at a computer ordering his boxes..to keep up with his neighbor.. There is a growing suspicion that this is already happening!

Righto - Move over Zorro. I kid you not - this one is called Facekini! First it was the Mohameddans with the burkha - it was religious you see (maybe you don't what with the dark fabric?); Then it was the Chinese women with their welding masks (that one you really got to see - as in the outsider not the maskee since that would cloud their view but keep the sun from hitting their skin); Now comes the face-kini with the colors and textures galore. Don't freak if you see these alien looking creatures on Chinese beaches. They are simply lovely ladies enjoying their moment in the sun. When I first saw this profound piece of news I again thought of Mandakini - what if she had gotten into designer garments and hit on this idea of the Facekini - to protect the fragile females from the wrath of the Sol (meaning sun). If advertised on Facebook as a Facekini would it be 'Face'tious?

This is the age of the CEO. A lot of young hotshots are becoming masters of their domain before they even get a drivers license - well exaggeration but you get the point. Many are born as tech wonderkids or with a knack to sell almost anything to a gullible public. The public for their part has started retarding. Hence their ability to buy anything that gets advertised on television. They buy it because its on TV. Then there are those companies that start with a large bang only to fizzle as the stupor wears off the gullibles. Many a name comes to mind. Now the losers are the millions who invest in this enterprise. Not to put too fine a point but that brings to light the AGE of the CEO. Is it fair to assume that there is something in the old adage - I have been round the block? OR that I have seen a few too many seasons than you? Admittedly the prototype to production lifecycle has compressed with advances in technology and supply chain improvements where a new wave toaster ...

What's with the overuse of this phrase? It first appeared in parlance (an astute observer would notice the absence of 'common' before parlance since I am sure there is no such thing as uncommon parlance? who invented parlance by the way?) when movies became popular. There was always someone doing mischief behind the scenes and someone thought it might be cool to share that with the viewing public too. Now it seems there is always more to anything than meets the eye because there are far too many cheats. So there is always the need to find what actually happens behind the scenes. Besides the eye can only meet so many scenes at one time. (thats like doing back of the napkin math - not sure why someone wants to waste a perfectly good front) As an example there is that restaurant you really like. Then the newshounds go and find out that the back alley where the raw product is stored actually resembles a recycling factory. Not exactly the idea you want to harbor going i...

I had time to ponder on senseless questions so I did. Here is a list of them in no particular order - 1. What happened to Mandakini? What does Mandakini mean? Is it some sort of desi Martini? 2. Why are there no colored tissue rolls? 3. Why does Ganpati have a mouse riding under it? 4. Why do Chinese restaurants serve water without ice when we sit down for dinner at their establishment (in the USA where ice in everything is a birthright or even a naturalized right)? 5. Why are there no 'licit' behaviors in any newstories? Far too many are illicit so I ask. Now that I have put these out there the readership can attempt to answer any or all of them for a grand prize. I am still thinking about what prize befits the solution to the above mentioned. That can be another riddle.

Can you remember what these are? Ganga Godavari Janhavi Kshipra Brahmaputra Bhagirathi These are names of some prominent Indian Rivers. At least they were until Nina and Nino and some other Latin American names messed with their balance and left dust bowls or changed their path in some cases. There was a time in Indian culture when the parents of children (I am not sure there are parents of other kind) often named their offspring after these mighty water bodies that sprang from mighty mountains and glaciers... perhaps signaling their dreams of reliable life affirming output (from the next generation). Today unfortunately people think water comes from bottles. Alas - the naming conventions changed with the drying of the rivers or some other worldly phenomenon since now if you ask a guy on the street he may not know of these historic wonders. Also he does not have to since there is no water in his tap and has to pay exorbitant sums just to get the TATA tanker to drive up to h...

Ambani gets a salary cut India puts up a population counter (like the US has a debt counter) Marissa Mayer becomes CEO of Yahoo Dog saved from drain Kim Kardashian poses in a tinier bikini Euro Zone ministers meet - again US got more golds than any other country in the world at the Olympics Facebook stock is now half off Ergo - I turned off my subscriptions to all forms of paid spam on all channels - digital, TV, paper et al - that should be newsworthy

For lack of anything worthwhile to do we went to see a Kareoke performance in Silicon Valley last night. Organized by a local Hindi radio station it had the independence day theme so it said. We fully expected to see the expat community in droves (who also had nothing better to do although I suspect a lot of them had been looking forward to this get together based on how made up they were) getting tickled pink as the others pointed out how wonderful they looked. For disclaimer other than our skinny kid we are well rounded individuals and I mean it and proud of it - we could be a character of a spy novel where one easily blends in the crowd - thats us. The majority of the bell curve public is glamorous. The facebook extension is to see these people meet in person and take off. Some overheard excerpts included - Ee tu masst distye - barrik zali solid - translated - you have wonderfully and substantially thinned out (while retaining some solids in your anatomy). Wow what a dr...

Bill Gates is doing what money should be doing. Using it to solve some serious problems - things that are wrong with the planet. 1. He used some of his cash to tackle malaria - vaccinations in poor nations and access to the medicines 2. Mosquito nets - provide cheap nets to impoverished areas to avoid the anopheles attack in the first place 3. Other important medicines and vaccines including AIDS medications - tackle the multiplier effect by hitting at the source of viral spread 4. Low cost computing resources with partenrships like Cisco etc in parts of the world where its hard to survive let alone go to school 5. Now with his latest effort to reinvent the TOILET. I think this takes the CAKE - literally might do that one day and convert it to fuel or some such. Low cost 'To go' solutions for the billions still without access to clean water and a place to relieve themselves. I don't particularly care whether Windows is a good software and what imagination went...

As surveys go here is another one that ranks the world's cities according to their livability index. Melbourne, Australia topped the list. Vienna in Austria and Vancouver in Canada's west coast took the third spot. Now clearly one thing that rings true for all the top cities is a very very low population density number. Less number of people on vast tracts of land with the exception being Austria; results in more resource for less demand - less squabbling all round. This is somewhat crude way of arriving at the dartboard to see who will top the list. But the detailed survey actually does end up reviewing these things in so many ways. NY NY scored in the 50s with New Delhi, India's capital city ranking at a 112. Although the rankings do miss out on some aspects of daily life in the form of whiff of racism, biases and subjective behavior from the locals. I have been to all the cities listed above except for Austria and can attest that Vancouver has lousier climate ye...

This 'independence day' (India officially became a republic today in 1947) morning the wife and I got talking about some interesting stuff over caffiene. That of what to do with our lives. This led us astray (perhaps) into reviewing what the ancients knew on this subject. Turns out Manu (some dude like Noah except am not sure when he was around) had some thoughts on this matter. This was of course before the Higgs was discovered. He wisely recommended a man divide his life in 4 increments of 25 years (give or take) each and perform tasks or duties relevant to that period. First was the learning phase or Brahmacharya - 0 to 25 - be a student and amass knowledge and understand how the world works phase. Second was the Gruhasthashram - 25 to 50 - procreate (that some took to heart), develop and support a household - be there - and then ensuring the long term well being of your brood start packing for the Third stage - Vanaprastha - or hermit or retirement - wander the fore...

What makes any thing or any one great? A society, a country, a civilization. Since man began counting time and recording history it is evident that there have been many a tale of rise and fall of entire civilizations over short and long periods. As I recently watched a film about what the Ancient Indians knew, hosted by an Australian and produced by the help of English and Americans and broadcast on a US cable channel I was struck by the disconnects at many levels. It is plentifully clear that the ancients (in the Indus valley) and what is now called India were a learned bunch to the point that the nucleation of complex mathematical and scientific thought occurred here. That subsequently translated into a plentiful state of being and a truly/holistically wealthy society. Take that visionary thinking then and fast forward to 2012 and you see large scale variance in almost any metric you could care to measure in 'modern India' (another oxymoron for the books). Greed and ab...

We recently discovered a few new edibles that we added to our roster of what we could snack on when we are out of ideas - 1. Fresh (as it gets) Mozzarella on Herb Crackers 2. Boudin Crisps with Mozzarella and tomato and little bit of olive oil 3. Well done, nut endowed rice kheer with simple syrup or a Gulab Jamun added on top 4. Taak Bhat (Buttermilk and Rice) with Pringles crushed on it along with fried chilli 5. Bok choi in garlic sauteed in olive oil topped with fresh moong sprouts Amazingly, we recently encountered some true 'mawa cake' at an island resort in Malaysia amidst the din of continental breakfast items. Some of best memories of a mawa cake are from a 'Sasania Bakery' in Fort Area in former Bombay. It came with a couple pieces of dry fruit stuck on top. Now craving some Pune Cantonment Patties. Or some sabudana wadas. Since neither is accessible I will craft a Bombay Bhel shortly.

So to all those wackos out there - what makes you go and take out a bunch of fellow humans? Something that caused the train to go off the track is what many a highly paid pyschoanalyst will conclude. Circumstance, conditions, influence whatever you call it, to me it boils down to breakdown of a moral fibre that cannot distinguish right vs. wrong. So this is what us huamns are capable of. We can land a robot on Mars millions of miles away - without having been there and yet we can come up with the idea to use a semi automatic weapon and take the life of unknown individuals even if it killed oneself in the process. To all these disturbed souls I have an alternative. Try to focus on more annoying creatures that may be ripe for a trim. Pigeons, squirrels or geese come to mind. If you live in suburbia or near a large city as I do there is an overwhelming presence of these critters. Cities and counties acutally spend good money (which they borrow at exorbitant rates pegged to the LI...

The human condition is forever evolving. First it was the attack of the vanities. The portable kind. Women of all colors and lacking in were bringing their entire cosmetic kit kaboodle on trains (local transit) and proceeding with their libations into various crevices I did not know existed, as other onlookers were forced to stare at their digital device or out the window into the dark tunnels. Then the progress in prep work continued. Latest sightings included a footwear change on a moving train with the dirty flip flops (that trampled over unknown pathogens on their way into the train) finding a home in the sack that the women carry (which probably also includes their wigs and other tic tacs, replaced by a unpronunciable brand of fancy sandals. Headlines the next day - BART passenger contacts deadly virus on train...surprised? This evolution in my forecast is going to now reach epidemic proportions. Since Nostradamus is currently unavailable for comment I decided to take the ...

Third world country has challenges - People lose weight while running to catch train hence no obesity; First world problem - People training to drop weight by running and lose obesity; Third world headache - People sitting in trains that will not leave station for a variety of reasons; First world trauma - People fume in their own cars stuck in traffic; Third world reality - All animals including humans have equal rights on the road - cows get worshipped; First world problem - Dogs get worshipped as humans carry their excreta in a bag behind them; Third world - no food for humans; First world - more food for animals than humans; Third world - no comedy clubs as life is one big tragedy; First world - need comedy clubs after the third divorce.

Harry is travelling on a train. Another gent gets in at the next stop and sits across from him. After a while Harry notices this gent intently staring at him for sometime. Getting nervous he asks him what he is staring at. The gent embarassed answers haltingly that he sees an uncanny resemblance between Harry and his wife except for the moustache. Whereupon Harry gets confused and points out - well sir I do not have a moustache! The gent further embarassed admits - I know but she does. ______________________ A man walks into a bar and gets a head bruise. _______ Here is what you don't see often - A man running real fast and taking a dump at the same time. ___________ Does a fly with no wings call itself a Walk?

I have often encountered people of Indian origin ask the same 'in the box' questions to me regarding my habits, history, education, job, upbringing, travels and on and on. I am of course referring to the idle chit chat that follows after they learn a little about what I do or where I have been. This is typical of the culture of trying to define what suits their limited mindset or awareness potential and the questions follow. Here are some choice examples - 1. After learning we were traveling to Malaysia this summer - Do you know someone there? My carefully worded response was - In fact it is exactly because we know no one there that we are visiting. One person also asked so - are there people there? or a milder version - So what is there in Malaysia - as the incredulous follow up. To which one can choose a wide variety of responses if you know what I mean. 2. So then you must be going to India after that? To which - this is a vacation I said so fill in the blanks. ...

I remember this question being posed to me directly or indirectly growing up in Bombay, India. The implied sub-text here is 'when you grow up?' Now a couple of things worth expanding here - 1. 'Wanting to be' is as vague a notion in many an adolescent or grown (more on that next) person shaped by society and circumstance rather than some inner zeal or epiphany that perhaps a few chosen people have; 2. 'When you grow up' is the other mysterious part of the question. What the heck does it really mean? I for one have not yet done so. Growing up that is. Partly because I think I am not entirely sure what the definition of that term is. If it relates to certain physical characteristic or the ability to attend to one's ablutions on their own without assitance then I suppose I qualify. Beyond that I believe we are always growing. Learning. Adapting and hopefully getting smarter for it. Questions above sometimes are interpreted in society (largely Asia...

Are there no handicap bathrooms on airplanes? I tell you they would make everyone take to the skies again.. No Banarasi Mitha Paan (a strange 'after dinner' or sometimes 'just like that' nut and rose petal concoction rolled in a leaf that you can chew on - literally) stalls in California? Good Vada Pav and Pav Bhaji at Indian airports? or for that matter at California airports who have a swelling population of desis.. Are there stewards or air hostesses in an airplane? Can we not just get rid of them entirely - and let people figure it out by now? If they are still standing at take off talking on their phone then so be it. Nothing will happen - trust me.

When things happen in the 'Nick' of time I always wonder which Nick the speaker is talking about? Why is it that nowadays failures are often deemed 'systemic'? Could it be because there are too many systems? Why did India not get awarded a Nobel prize for energy conservation when the largest population ever (650M) involuntarily had no lights (for 15 hours that too not some piddly 1 minute drama that the developed world does)? On that note - another prize to the doofus who calculated the number of people without power - being the fastest human population counter in the world. Can we call Facebook - Fakebook? I heard there are a lot of fake people presenting fake information on fake things. What the Fake?

Ever since the Wrights spoiled the party on the ground by taking to the skies the humans have kept wanting to improve the experience. After over 100 years let me announce this... We really have NOT! We flew Singapore Air - the staff at least does not yell back at you (certain stateside airlines will also give you free attitude and no peanuts) but its still hopeless. One good thing going for the brothers Orville and Wilbur was that they tried to experiment on a beach in the Carolinas... clean fresh air and a short flight. Bathroom breaks at will etc. Modern flights - this one going from San Fran to some point in Asia - 14 plus hours depending on the point. In something they call COACH. Not the fancy accouterment the ladies carry - although now that I think about it the trip sure felt like I was sitting in one. Cramped - barely able to sleep. Some have counseled that the way to do these long haul pressurized, smelly, sort of compressed and almost tasteless food journeys is to ...