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Wardrobe on a train

The human condition is forever evolving. First it was the attack of the vanities. The portable kind. Women of all colors and lacking in were bringing their entire cosmetic kit kaboodle on trains (local transit) and proceeding with their libations into various crevices I did not know existed, as other onlookers were forced to stare at their digital device or out the window into the dark tunnels. Then the progress in prep work continued. Latest sightings included a footwear change on a moving train with the dirty flip flops (that trampled over unknown pathogens on their way into the train) finding a home in the sack that the women carry (which probably also includes their wigs and other tic tacs, replaced by a unpronunciable brand of fancy sandals. Headlines the next day - BART passenger contacts deadly virus on train...surprised? This evolution in my forecast is going to now reach epidemic proportions. Since Nostradamus is currently unavailable for comment I decided to take the baton (in the olympic spirit and all) and do my own visuals of what a BART ride might look like in 2015. 1. Women will have access to an ATM like kiosk dispensing needed shades of facial color and lotion like potions on every train station (at exorbitant sums) and eventually right on the coach itself. 2. There will also be an option to buy footwear from a machine where the unfortunate dolt has spilled an unknown liquid on her rear legs thereby ruining her latest suede contraption. 3. Same with idevices and the accessories needed to tune out the world 4. Rental coats and jackets along with other wardrobe accessories will be available to order in every breezeway with styling rooms to check out fit and finish before boarding the train. Some can pay an extra fee to take the change of clothes right on to the train and proceed with their routine just in time to disembark and go impress their boss. Yet - eating and drinking and smoking shall remain banned. We don't want the train with beautiful women to go up in flames.
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  1. RajendraAugust 7, 2012 at 9:31 AM

    Nostradamus forgot to account for women. Good of you to take up the slack!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Diamond HeadAugust 7, 2012 at 9:54 AM

    ha ha - and not slacks? I don't want my crack to show..

    ReplyDelete

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