Used to be that 'Genie in a Bottle' was a billboard hit. Now an incarnation of 'Eat Shit' or 'Coffee in the Poop' baby is somewhat indirectly top of the charts. As in coffee extracted from the poop of certain wild mammals - it appears is THE ELIXIR to have. How did the coffee bean get in the poop in the first place. You feed said animal said beans.
From civets to elephants, coffee consumption is on the rise since the humans it seems are weaning off and resorting to Tea. Someone came up with the idea to stop the trend reversal (guess who?) and encourage the idiotic human race to try a new idea.
Turd 'o' matic range of coffee makers is now soon hitting store shelves from Bangkok to Burundi to Baton Rouge and everywhere in between. Special manufacturing instructions will be shipped with each personally engraved stinking pot for the true connoisseur. Each comes with 20 servings of beans.
The most exclusive collection will feature the actual turds still warm (vacuum sealed) and delivered fresh by overnite 'Poo' P S to your address. The jungle literally at your doorstep for the right fee.
Photos of mammals that produced the beans will be available for an extra fee. Imagine immersing yourself inside the internals of a wild mammal sniffing all the aromas that lend your beverage that unbeatable flavor without leaving your family room.
Adopt a pet foundations are partnering with the farmers to brand each species into exciting new outerwear and mugs.
Now if I could only make use of my leftovers and come up with a capital idea I could retire and not need any caffeine to start my dull day.
Here is another essay on the subject of first names. As in birth names. Or names provided to an offspring at birth. While the developed world tends to shy away from the exotic like Refrigerator or Coca Cola for their new production there is a plethora of Jims and Johns and Bobs or Robs. Speaking of which I do not think there is a categoric decision point at the time of birth if a child will be hereafter called as Bob. I mean have not yet met a toddler called Bob or Rob for that matter. At some point though the parental instinct to mouth out multiple syllables runs out and they switch from calling the crawler Robert to simply Robbie to Rob. Now speaking of - it is strange that the name sounds like something you would not want Rob to do - i.e. Rob anyone. Then why call someone that? After all Rob Peter to Pay Paul is not exactly a maxim to live a young life? Is it? Perhaps Peter or Paul might want to have a say in it? Then there is this matter of going to the John. Why degrad...
Thinking out of the 'box' takes on a whole new meaning.
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