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Future Generations

There is a big problem with today's procreation.  The procree does not have a say in the matter.  For example he or she cannot procrastinate his or her arrival on the planet if the conditions are not suitable for arrival.

For example if there is bad weather at an airport the pilot of an approaching aircraft has complete veto power on whether to land in the muck or avoid the landing.  Come back later or go someplace else.  Why is it not the same with child birth?

Big problem.  In fact the problem is really embedded in the idea that the offspring does not have any say in the whole idea of being sprung.  People get drunk, get emotionally out of whack or whatever and bing - you have a crawler in nine months.  No discussion - no choice - pal you are out.

So as I theorize ground breaking ideas in my insightful writings here is a concept.  Babies will have ample opportunity to review their prospects before being born in the future.  Think about it.

Try to.

If there is war going on and you two (or more) decide to go at it to see if you can make chromosomes mingle or some such the production will hit a default check point in month 1.  An alert from the womb will flash on your wearable computer indicating their is a question brewing inside the oven and that it is marked URGENT.

The text of this message will ask for the State of the Union (as in the Marital one) and seek a neutral assessment from an entity say 'Moody's'.  Prospective parents will have to be ready to respond in 2 business days.

Once the report gets flashed back through ultrasound (during wellness checks) the next status update request will process.  Typically the bugger in the cooker would like to know how the first quarter went.   If both parents are gainfully employed and have good scores then the cooking can proceed to phase II - limbic development.

And so on and so on.

If at any point in the process there is a chance that the forecast for future propsects is dimming then the said crawler can use a delay fuse inside the womb to procrastinate arriving amidst uncertain times.  Also he or she can determine if the corporate culture is going to be suitable long term or if he /she should do any executive changes immediately.  These could be as simple as recommending a new paint color for the room or firing the father for incompetence.

Then there can be recommendations to ask for a game plan that explains the expectation from him/her and what if any resources will be available to achieve these goals.   If it is unrealistic in the eyes of the fetus then he can choose to entirely abort the mission or seek intervention from a specialty consulting business like McCanSee.

If due diligence proves the tide can turn then its a chance this kid is taking and will arrive well informed of the risk reward ratio so he or she can blame no one but himself for all future outcomes.

Comments

  1. Marrying corporate philosophy with marital..work of genius, giving control and responsibility to a guy in the womb.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Fetal attraction coming to a womb near you!

    ReplyDelete

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