Marketing's newest frontier

Had enough of pesky commercials and emails and bill boards and texts? Hold on to your pants (literally) because the toilet paper revolution is just beginning. Soy ink based advertising right on the sheets that wipe you off is coming to a stall near you. From laser eye correction to discount on sandwiches at the store next door to a haircut salon overhead (to the location of the stall) are all seeking your undivided attention and this is the way to go. What are you doing in there anyway? Praying to not see an ad again? Nah not a chance. So why not entertain yourself with the knowledege of the surrounds in the comfort of the john and perhaps catch up on some local gossip? Hey its biodegradable piece of news so think how green its going to be? Trashy news just found a new calling. Caveat emptor - in your excitement to read all you can make sure you have some left to do the needful. Ok if that creeps you out then watch for the premium stalls that might contain the deluxe white sheets with aloe - if you are in the mood for a $5 flush. Its not there yet but I think it might be..we could also pipe in some breaking news and latest flash sale infotainment while the subject is caught with its pants down (in a manner of silence). But wait we covered the other 'end' so what about the first? Eating that is. We can soon see this notion applied to that burger or dosa you are about to consume. Print them promotions right on that steak as it comes out and sear that in the person's memory. Pepto Bismol ads on that spicy crepe sure would go a long way to encourage just in time advice?